Nurses Eating Their Young- A Different Perspective

[Kyrshamarks]

Nurses eat their young. It happens and people complain about it like it is a bad thing. It may be in your eyes if you are the one being eaten, but in my eyes I am going to eat you alive and spit out your bones into something that resembles a nurse. You are entering the cauldron of fire, so expect to get singed.

That above statement is already setting some of you on edge. I understand that and I accept that. I felt the same way at first, but as the years have passed by I have learned why we do it and more importantly, the reason. Let me explain to you why in a way that is not nursing.

Imagine if you are a soldier ... Lets take it from there

1. Patient = fire team
2. Pilot = Nurse Practitioner
3. Officers = management
4. Your squad mates = your fellow nurses with more experience
5. Enemy = death
6. MD = (sometimes the enemy) a fellow service member form another branch

You enlisted in the service, you passed basic training (nursing school) and now you are ready to join your unit. ( I know I skipped AIT, for those military among us) You show up on the bus all excited and happy to be chosen for this special unit. It is everything you wanted, it is just where you wanted to be. Great, happy to have you aboard, now get out the salt and pepper, or maybe the opposite is true. You do not want to be here, but rather this is the only place you could get to right now.

Fine, get out the salt and pepper

Be prepared to be eaten. I am your new squad Sargent. I am there to help you get acclimated to the unit and the patrols as FAST AS I CAN. You show up in your new shiny uniforms, new boots and the new weapons (ie: stethoscope, tablet, etc) and look around you and see the older squad mates' uniforms are faded, they may even be a bit tattered, our combat boots may not be shiny, heck they may even be a bit soiled. But you know what, to us your uniform looks uncomfortable on you and those ugly boots we are wearing, they are like a second skin to us and those new ones you got are going to blister your feet. We accept that and realize that with age your boots are going to get broken in and your uniform will fade. Just don't point out to us how yours is better or newer. New does not always mean better, sometimes our weapons that you think are old and stupid are the ones that never fail in combat. You start out like that and I will eat you so hard right there that you will wish you were never born. Your old Drill instructors (nursing instructors) have nothing on me in making you feel small if I choose to.

I introduce you to your squad mates and I show you around

I know you are new and do not know where everything is, but LISTEN to me when I am talking to you and pointing things out. I know it is a lot of information to digest, but it may save your life and your fire mission's life if you listen. I expect you to ask me questions, but think about the question first. Did I already answer it? Did I not just show you where the supply tent was? Did I not point out where to keep your gear? Did I not show you how to reload your gun or program in the fire coordinates on the fire control computer? I probably did and if you keep asking I am going to start to wonder about you and think maybe you are going to get me killed or the fire team killed.

Time for your first patrol

The officers come by and gives us our mission. We need to work as a team to complete it, there are no Rambos in our unit. Accept the mission, I will be there to help guide you and keep you alive, for now. I do not want the fire mission to fail at all costs. When I feel you are strong enough to do more of the mission on your own, I am going to let you, whether you think you are not.

So now we go into the field for combat against the enemy. I know you learned all these supposedly fancy new ways of combating them, but the enemy doesn't always react the way you were taught it would. Things are different in the field, than in the classroom. Don't tell me how to do something unless I am asking you how it is done the new way. Listen to me how to set up an ambush. I have been fighting these battles many years and I am still alive. Don't look above at the pilots flying around doing their thing while we are in the trenches and say you would rather be there. It takes time to learn to fly, and I skin you and filet you alive if you think you are better than the rest of your squad mates. If you express an interest in learning to fly, I will be happy to help you get to the point you can learn to fly. I want all my squad mates to succeed, because the fire mission will then succeed.

I am going to jump on you during the training I give you, I am going to eat you up, I am going to speak bad of you, I am going to report on you to the officers. I will make your life miserable for a while. I may not let you take lunch with your buddies from basic who are now in an another unit in your command. They may have their own mission to conduct, or our mission is going badly. Sometimes I may make you work extra hard helping another soldier out, who is up to their butt in crocodiles. I am also going to praise you when you need it, but don't count on it very often. I am going to ride your butt so hard, you are going to wonder why you even enlisted. You are going to think I am unfair, that I am trying to get you killed, that I am giving you too big of missions at times, but know this. AT ALL COSTS THE FIRE TEAM MUST DO THEIR BEST! Sometimes we don't win all the battles and death does come for the mission. we accept that and expect you to accept it and pick yourself up and carry on soldier. The time to grieve is later in private when it fails, but know this; we old eat their young and are also grieving about the loss, but realize there are other missions we are needed on at that moment.

My Goal

My goal in eating you up is to toughen you up so that you may lead other soldiers in combat and save the fire missions, maybe even help you get to be a pilot or an officer, which not all of us want. Some of us were previous officers but decided we liked the trenches with the blood and guts and muck better. My goal is to see you succeed and carry on our legacy and eventually replace me when I fall. Which one day I will fall and become a distant memory. Until that moment I am going to eat you up and spit out your bones into proud strong self reliant Nurse. That is why eating our young is not a bad thing.

Related topics...

Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

Nurses Eating Their Young Is Not Okay

Watch WHY Nurses Eat Their Young?! My Story video...

[Nursecathy123ca]

Baloney. It takes greater skill to teach without using sarcasm, profanity or humiliation. I had the misfortune to work with not one but two cannibal nurses in my first job out of nursing school. Their clinical skills were good but as human beings, they failed. The rest of us hung together, encouraging each other and asking advice from the experienced nurses who didn't bite.

[osf2680]

:-) thanks for sharing!

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

"The military analogy was pretty cool. But let'skeep in mind that the majority of those who come out from serving are CRAZY.

Do we want crazy people giving care to our patients??

I don'ttthinkso! Lol

Neither funny nor true, actually. I had plenty of options and so did those I serve with. To label veterans as "crazy" is offensive to those who suffer from mental illness and the ensuing stigma.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

This article is meant as just another view of teaching nurses. And...as AN does not tolerate vilification of any race/gender/religion, we also do not allow generalizations regarding our military, past, present, or future.

Please keep this in mind when debating the topic, not the poster.

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

Lets talk about 22 veterans committing suicide every day.

Lets talk about how successful the military has been in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Lest you think the last ten years of wasted lives and money was an aberration, let's talk about how successful the military was in Vietnam.

Maybe that is too much reading material for you, so I will just let you know

We lost. Bad.

As a matter of fact, "Kyrshamarks," the military-industrial complex hasn't won a war since Eisenhower coined the term.

Oh sure, we have won battles. We have slaughtered people and devastated countries and burned and bloodied and raped and murdered and made lots of money for a certain few in the process.

look at this picture.

Look at it.

Then realize that for that one napalmed girl there are thousands more.

Now if anyone is reading this is or has been in the military, let me say I respect you for your service and appreciate your efforts but I am going to tell the unvarnished truth here and it will not consist of empty platitudes. My father was in the Navy, my uncle was in the Army during Vietnam, my grandmother was a Navy nurse and my grandfather served under Patton in WWII. I have friends who have served and friends who are still serving. I have friends who were in the first Gulf war and friends who were deployed more than once in the second.

I have heard them speak, and what they say about the military isn't pretty.

The military takes people who have no other options and trains them to kill other people.

It does this by tearing a person down and building them back up so that they are willing to kill other people.

And you think that this is what nursing is supposed to be? A bunch of teenage grunts following orders and fighting and dying to line the pockets of some rich industrialist? You think that the thousands of nurses in this country and abroad joined this profession out of desperation and stupidity so we could hurry up and wait for the order to march into hell?

People like you are why medical errors kill 400,000 people a year.

That is WWII, EVERY. DAMN. YEAR.

The military is trying to kill people with their Catch 22's, their institutionalized hierarchy, their hazing, their enforced mediocrity, their emphasis on obedience, following orders instead of thinking critically. The military wants people to die. If that kills some boys from home so be it. They can go home "heroes" so their family will be placated and we can get more or the meat grinder.

.

https://www.dso.ufl.edu/documents/sccr/army-policy-hazing.pdf

[COLOR=#0066cc]http://www.law.uh.edu/faculty/pjanicke/Military%20Law/Segment%202.%20Offenses/Insubordination%20offenses/MCM_on_Art.92_disobeying_order.doc

I'm sorry you've been given such a poor view of the military--especially from those who currently serve.

As a current service member, I'd like to give you some reading material and point out that those of us who serve do have other options and chose to serve for a variety of reasons.

You might also note that the US didn't invent war, and if you think the atrocities committed by the US's forces are bad, you ought to read about what ISIS is currently doing abroad and attempting to do here. The fact that the US has policies that govern and discipline the behavior of its service members ought to count for something as well. No organization is going to be perfect, and I wouldn't claim that of the military. I've seen my fair share of ridiculous things go down, but at least the military tries and continues to try to make things better and enforce good order and discipline in its ranks.

As a current leader in the Army and a nurse, I guarantee I'm not trying to get anyone killed. Neither is anyone else I know or have known in the service. To insinuate that the military as a whole doesn't care about its members is a generalization that is annoying when made on a broad scale, and downright insulting when levied against individuals who are simply trying to help their fellow man--be that other service members or those around that world that we are sent to serve in times of war, peace, and natural disaster.

The last thing I want you to notice is that the great irony of your post may be where you point out that the US has not been successful in any campaigns since WWII, but you also condemn the casualties that naturally and unavoidably result from war. I've got a hint for you--those two things (one of which has been written into policy) are directly related.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

There was a foley bag hanging from an IV Pole. Suffice to say, she was trying to hook it up to a #24 gauge she started on the patient.

I actually need to call bull on this one. Was she planning on running urine IV? There isn't a place on a Foley bag that could be hooked up to an IV. I believe this was an example to illustrate your point that never actually took place.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I have always been in a nurturing environment as a student. Were there the hard nosed no nonsense nurses that felt they needed to put you through your paces...sure...but I took that as a challenge.

I think that nursing has it wrong since they stopped training preceptors and ensuring that new nurses are nurtured in a supportive environment so they can feel safe enough to learn and retain what they are being taught. When you have a new nurse who is constantly on guard and stressed he/she is not learning nor retaining what they are being taught...so who is at fault when the new nurse isn't "moving along" properly...to me in some instances it is the preceptors fault and their inability to teach.

But "Bully" and workplace violence are new buzz words and not all cases of NETY are actual cases of bullying. Just recently in the student section a student asked for assistance with their assignment. When they were told we do not do the work for them they became defensive and cried NETY. There is a current environment of "everybody wins" which I think is detrimental to an individuals development to deal with adversity and disappointment. Not everyone wins....and we do not do your work for you. The OP became defensive and cried "I'm being bullied" NO....you aren't being bullied you were caught trying to cheat the system and you are angry.

Just because corrections are not delivered with sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean you are being bullied. Nurses don't mince words. We don't have time to molly coddle new nurses. Not all criticism is being bullied....mistakes in nursing can cost someone their life. It is important that the new nurse realizes the implication of their mistakes. There is very little leeway in healthcare for mistakes. Too often I have seen the new nurse with the "Whatever" attitude as they roll their eyes, snap their gum, and make some statement about just getting their time in to move on to the real jobs like NP or CRNA....just to point out as you gain more responsibility your mistakes will become more dangerous.

I think we need to find a happy medium...tough love mixed with support. Just because a new nurse is told they are wrong is not being bullied. Do I think nurses eat their young no...but there are some that do.

Well said.

I'm finding the "coddling" alone is leading to nurses who don't take criticism well, and are unsafe and dangerously confident at least in my current experience.

As a preceptor, and the most senior experienced nurse at the facility that I work at, I don't mince words on how I feel about standards of care, and a work ethic; I am starting to develop a "crust" due to the incompetence that I have to follow and managements focus on the bottom line-it's doing nothing for the healthcare system.

So I'll keep swinging the bat and throwing down the gauntlet for making sure that there is a high standards of care; don't mistake it for NETY; rather, think of it as "would you want YOU as a nurse?" meaning, not being prepared or looking up things or being adequately prepared to care for pts-would you want to be entering the room and taking care of YOU woefully inadequate?

To add: I'm a strong believer in Karma.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I second this. I was accepted to nursing school for the fall semester, but after reading OP's "Sure to Get Flamed" thread, seeing the supporters of that doctrine, and having several anxiety meltdowns, I decided to give up my seat in the program.

I now regret giving up my spot as I have no career prospects.

Are you serious?

Why would you give up a seat because of ONE person's perspective??

I am flabbergasted that someone would give up their seat because of it; if you want to be in this business, then you will have no qualms or issues in being in it; it's what you make out if it.

If I listened to a nurse years go who told me, as a pre teen that I would NEVER find a job as a nurse, I would have been floundering in life.

You really need to reconsider your choice, and find the gumption to understand nursing does have to have some form of toughness-called advocacy, and that this is a tough business, but if you are up to the challenge you CAN and WILL thrive in it.

Best wishes.

[meteorite36]

Good comment. Just because a nurse is 'seasoned' and has experience, it does not necessarily mean they are current in their practice. Sure, we all know the new grads who "know nothing", but we all know the older nurses who take twice the time to do their computer charting and are generally slower in providing care. Everyone has something to offer - no need for this type of attitude.

[HopeThruFaith, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN]

The BEST teachers/mentors/preceptors/colleagues/etc. can adapt their style to suit the needs of the learner and the situation. Education is not "one size fits all."

Exactly!!!

Future RN

[Kyrshamarks, BSN, RN]

I am a product of the military, but more than that I am the product of many years of nursing. Nowhere in my post did I say i would eat you up in front of patients or out in public. I would never do that. I will chew you up in private, and I will tell my coworkers what you did so that they may be on the watch for you repeating the same mistake. I am going to wonder about your learning capacity and the ability to retain simple info if you ask me 7 times the same question. Carry a notebook,...write down what I tell you. REMEMBER what I tell you. All this hand holding and comforting the new nurse was done in nursing school, where everything is roses and sunny days. Welcome now to the real world where there is never enough time, never enough resources or help. Where people die and people live literally, where management needs you to do more with less, where docs yell, families yell, and people bleed, poop, and puke all the time. Where no matter what you do you will not please a fraction of percentage of anyone and it is never enough for some. It is dirty and stressful and painful and even sometimes wonderful. It is life and death. Being easy on you is not an option when you carry the life of someone in your hands.

furthermore, it is interesting to realize how few people read all of my post. I can tell by the responses that most did not read the last few sentences....

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

I read your article, and specially your last paragraph so much so I went back and just reread it to be sure I had it correct. I understand that yes you are coming from a place of concern and wanting to see the people you precept suceed

I still dont agree with your approach. There is a difference between expecting a standard of excellence from the nurse you precept and running at them as a raging drill Sargent.

And humiliation is still humiliation whether its done in front of a patient or in front of nursing colleagues, or even one on one makes it no less damaging

I'm a product of the namby pamby non military approach to nursing. I dont get a lunch break most days, thats because I'm either busy with my patients or helping someone out whose been given a patient that requires specialist DN input. On the good days, I usually manage to eat half a sandwich as I drive between clients. I'm paid for an eight hour day, its not unusual to put in 10 plus. Specially when there is a palliative patient who has moved into end stage and really needs a bed in hospice but ones not available until the next day. By this stage the family often arent coping and I'm left hoping like hell that between myself specialist palliative care and their GP, we can come up with a plan to get the patient and their family through the night until the next day when the hospice bed is opening up.

I am a product of the military, but more than that I am the product of many years of nursing. Nowhere in my post did I say i would eat you up in front of patients or out in public. I would never do that. I will chew you up in private, and I will tell my coworkers what you did so that they may be on the watch for you repeating the same mistake. I am going to wonder about your learning capacity and the ability to retain simple info if you ask me 7 times the same question. Carry a notebook,...write down what I tell you. REMEMBER what I tell you. All this hand holding and comforting the new nurse was done in nursing school, where everything is roses and sunny days. Welcome now to the real world where there is never enough time, never enough resources or help. Where people die and people live literally, where management needs you to do more with less, where docs yell, families yell, and people bleed, poop, and puke all the time. Where no matter what you do you will not please a fraction of percentage of anyone and it is never enough for some. It is dirty and stressful and painful and even sometimes wonderful. It is life and death. Being easy on you is not an option when you carry the life of someone in your hands.

furthermore, it is interesting to realize how few people read all of my post. I can tell by the responses that most did not read the last few sentences....