Nurses with eating disorders?

[CardiacDork]

This may be a bit bold. *Deep Breath*

Lately facing demons head on has resulted in some good healing. Are there any nurses on this forum that would be open with sharing that they have an eating disorder? Their experience? How specifically does your eating disorder intertwine with being a nurse? For me caring for larger patients usually results in skipping lunch. Although my care is the same to all patients, I feel a bit anxious of ending up in such state of obesity and tend to eat nothing for the day.

Do do any of you binge eat related to work stress? Stop eating due to body image?

Not looking for medical advise just wanting to reach out and see others experiences.

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

I am technically obese, but look overweight. I am a binge eater, nocturnal eater, and sleep after I eat a lot. That is how I keep my weight on. Plus, with weight and poor nutrition I don't have the energy to make sure I prepare my food for work.

You have just described my life. I'm also a binge eater. I eat all the wrong kinds of foods at all the wrong times of day for all the wrong reasons.

[knowethzani]

I am only a nursing student. I will be graduating in a couple months. But I have too noticed I eat very heavily during stressful test weeks when my chaotic life events coincide. During my periods of heavy eating I am never really even that hungry, but I just need to be chewing and tasting something...it is a very odd and a nearly inexplainable feeling. Maybe you'd consider it binge eating. I have picked up 22 pounds since in the program and I work out 2-4 times a week, but still gaining. Working full time, schooling full time, and still trying to take care of things at and in my home can be stressful and scattered.

Once I figured out that this was turning into a bigger issue, I downloaded a few apps, bought a fitbit, and meal prep my lunches and breakfast. It is helping a little but definitely not a quick fix. I believe it just takes a conscious effort and better time management. Whether thats telling friends and family no to late drinks and dinners, or trading in my Sunday of napping house cleaning for more running and a swim.

Best of luck to you. We will just have to keep trying!

[llg, PhD, RN]

During my periods of heavy eating I am never really even that hungry, but I just need to be chewing and tasting something...it is a very odd and a nearly inexplainable feeling.!

That describes me perfectly. I need to chew and taste. (Maybe I need a "chew toy" like dogs have. )

[Graduatenurse14]

I dealt with 2 extremely high stress situations where I felt very out of control so I turned to controlling what I could.

I dealt with situational bulimia when I was 17 and in high school with the break up with my first-love boyfriend. When we broke up I took it very, very hard. I lost easily at least 25 lbs. due to not eating and joined a gym and would put a sweat shirt on when I got there to burn more calories - this was in the summer. Many people said how good I looked as I am short and a little thick but I became officially thin. It was in the late 80's and there was no intervention from anyone at school or even at home like there would be today. My parents knew I was super upset but not about the bulimia or sweat shirt. To them it was normal, first heart break stuff. It all righted itself eventually but it could've gone very badly.

When I was in my late 30's and my mother was diagnosed with late stage cancer and and I again turned to control my body when I felt out of control. I was not a nurse or in nursing school at that time.

I went on South Beach diet staying on Phase 1 way too long and joined a gym but no bulimia this time. I was a gym rat, had a personal trainer and my life was run by when I went to the gym. I remember my trainer "jokingly" saying something about body dysmorphic disorder. I remember realizing I was in a dangerous place when I pulled into the gym parking lot and just didn't feel like working out that day which freaked me out. I sat there crying because I felt like loser if I worked out because I really did not want to that day and nothing would happen if I didn't but I felt like I had to and I knew that compulsion was dangerous but at the same time feeling like a loser while thinking, "What is the big deal? Just go in and work out like everyone else" but I knew there was more to it for me. I honestly don't remember what I did but I think that I went home instead of working out.

My mom died and I didn't go to the gym for about a month then I only went I'll bet 5-7 times then stopped completely. I didn't feel the compulsion or guilt or anything. It was very odd.

I say all that to say that I know that very, very high stress and loss of control can lead to eating/body issues for me.

There is a nurse on my unit who I suspect has bulimia but I'm not sure what I can do, if anything.

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

There is a nurse who is quite thin. She promotes Shakeology products, has a fitness blog and is a "coach". I notice she is always in a jacket, and/or with a blanket wrapped around. Then again, PACU is kept cold in general, especially if certain nurses work that day. She brings in sweet treats on occasion, but they are healthy treats. Her peanut butter protein balls are pretty good, as long as you can take them with a drink because it's very dry. It's refreshing that she promotes fitness but I think she's one of those people in fitness that promotes unrealistic diets and expectations. And this Shakeology thing seems like yet another fitness-related pyramid scheme.

The fitness industry in general is full of con men and women. Not that my coworker is one of them, at least not to me. But I am really wary of fitness fads and nutrition/supplement fads.

[NOADLS]

It's refreshing that she promotes fitness but I think she's one of those people in fitness that promotes unrealistic diets and expectations. And this Shakeology thing seems like yet another fitness-related pyramid scheme.

The fitness industry in general is full of con men and women. Not that my coworker is one of them, at least not to me. But I am really wary of fitness fads and nutrition/supplement fads.

Which one is it?

I'll make it easier on you; is she on instagram?

[augurey]

I'm only a student, but I've been struggling with bulimia for about 16 years, and then binge eating about 8-10 years before that. I've often wondered how it would be once I become a nurse. Like if it'll be easier to keep up in recovery, if it'll be easier to relapse, or if it'll have no influence at all.

I recently started using an app to help identify patterns or triggers. For me it's just mostly become a part of life, daily routine with it getting worse during periods of great stress, being upset, or encountering triggering situations.

I graduate next May and am hoping to have it mostly if not completely under control before I take boards and start working.

[jackiebees]

I am a normal weight / slightly over weight Binge eater, who compensates poorly. My struggles with food have put me on the EDNOS spectrum for the past ten years. My body issues have played a large part in how the past ten years of my life have gone, and are heavily intertwined with my periods of success, and failure. I'm always looking for *the thing* that is going to make it easier. For example; "when I finish school I'll get this under control.." "when I move I'll be able to lose the weight..." "when I get this at or the other things will be easy again" but its just not true. And truthfully, I'm afraid to diet/restrict because I fear ending up too thin, and unable to control my self that way. I am happiest when I'm starving, but I could never go back to *that* lifestyle either.

Truthfully, nothing has helped. Therapy, doctors, medication, etc. They tell me I view the world in black & white (as in, extremes) with no gray area. This is awesome when it comes to some aspects of life, but terrible when it comes to food and my body.

I am starting my first job as new grad in a few days. I worry how it will effect me, with this in mind, but I'm excited to be spending less time at my restaurant job (for obvious reasons).

Food issues aren't easy to live with, and they are not easy to talk about. Especially when you're overweight. Everyone has to eat to live, so people have a hard time believing that its "real." Which is why I don't talk about it anymore. Everyone comments on how I've "gained weight" and am I working to lose it, am I going to the gym? And I'm just like.. I can't talk about this :)

I wish everyone struggling the best of luck

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

For some reason that I can't pinpoint, the night eating is my downfall. I will enjoy healthy food all day, but then I tend to want to eat late at night.

However, when I worked nights, I didn't have this issue. I ate at night at work, but it was usual snacks and a healthy meal.

Since I was 13, I've had issues with food so I don't think disordered eating ever truly goes away.

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

I'd like to thank everyone who has pointed out that most people with eating disorders are not underweight.

My symptoms and weight have been at both ends of the spectrum. When I'm in a restricting phase, I find it much easier to nourish myself on work days when I know that people are depending on me to have a clear head to provide their medical care.

Water cooler chat among coworkers is the worst. I had one young tech who was disordered and didn't seem to know it, and had no filter whatsoever. She was always commenting on what I ate (announcing that it wasn't much) during our shifts together. Once she talked about another girl who would chew and spit cookies and asked if it was a good diet technique. She didn't recognized it as disordered and didn't recognize that the fact that it appealed to her was disordered [sigh]. But regular ol' diet talk from "normal" people is super triggering.

And when you're small, people seem to be incapable of understanding that you have not always been the same size your entire life, and do in fact know what it's like to live in a bigger body. When you're big, people think you don't know what you're talking about because the binges are winning over the restriction... nevermind that you've pretty much made a lifetime involuntary study of diet and nutrition.

It's an endless battle and I'm worn out from it. At least scrubs easily accommodate a 30 lb weight change within one size.

[CardiacDork, MSN, RN]

I would like to thank all nurses/students for coming together and sharing these personal stories. There is something about knowing we all face similar issues and are vulnerable in very similar ways. We're human, ladies and gentleman!

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

Please don't forget that there are many pathologies and conditions which can cause very strange food behaviors while having nothing to do with eating disorders. My own "food behavior" is nothing but bizarre but that's because my severe allergies and unstable, with tendency to run low to very low, blood sugar and sodium (from years on chronic steroids). People still make huge eyes seeing me crunching three full size pickles for lunch.

I knew at least two people who behaved (and looked like) textbook pictures of anorexia but the reason in both cases was Crohn's. Now I work with another one who is just like that, due to chemo + bone marrow transplant for cancer. For some reason, her sense of taste changed completely, so she eats the most strange combinations of stuff plus takes supplements by cupfuls and feels like they help her multiple issues such as "mental fog". For the life of mine, I do not know what it might be, but as long as it works for her....