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nurses eat their young

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by Dairian Dairian (New Member) New Member

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You are reading page 6 of nurses eat their young. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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I have been bullied multiple times. One job that I worked at was notorious for bullying. The whole hospital was toxic, and at my new job I have a charge nurse that likes to make my life miserable. It happens. Some hospitals are more toxic than others.

Hmm...I don't doubt the toxicity of various hospitals or jobs or Charge nurses. But do you think you are sub-consciously inviting this in some way? I'm not saying you are, just wondering if maybe they mistake your kindness or shyness or easygoing ways somehow aggravating.

Jealous of you maybe?

Just be you but consider small changes you could try to get them off of your back.

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1,650 Likes; 4 Followers; 16,977 Visitors; 2,518 Posts

Not in any other field I have been involved with. Not even close. My experience only.

You should hear what teachers go through.

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First, this is homework.

Second, Darian has now collected her data and will write her paper on NETY which I'm guessing is due in the next few days.

Third, I'm guessing that what is actually truly bullying, and what Darisn considers bullying are two different things.

People having a different opinion than you, or being "mean" to you does not constitute actual bullying.

This topic gets brought up so much because those entering the workforce these days have no idea how to deal with any type of conflict, thus calling anything and everything bullying.

I'm over the NETY phrase. Yes, it happens. But not like you think. Not that often. I've never seen bullying, ever. I've been in almost 6 years now.

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I have never been bullied either in nursing school or 15 years of nursing. I am not the sort of person who allows myself to be bullied. I confront bad behavior immediately and personally with the bad actor, a practice that has served me well.

Hppy

YES!!!!

We are in a profession filled with adults. Some of them are miserable beyond belief a like to cloister with like-minded miserable adults and moan about every possible thing. They will inflict pain if you allow them. However, they are also very weak and cannot stand any fight what-so-ever. Every single instance I've ever seen of a nurse standing up to one of these rotten souls resulted in an uber-quick retreat of the "bully".

Having said that, there is way too much whining about bullying. I have seen it. I've never been the target as blow-back would have been harsh and immediate. It is very rare in my experience. Most things described as bullying are just rude behavior and if you don't want to put up with it call the person on it

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tnbutterfly is a BSN, RN and works as a Content/Community Director @ allnurses.

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Several non-contributory posts have been deleted. Please refrain from posting sarcastic comments. Bullying is a real problem and not one to poke fun at.

Edited by tnbutterfly

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decotes has 2 years experience and works as a NICU nurse.

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What happens when you get a little experience under your belt and are tasked with orienting a new nurse and that person has the train of thought that you express here - and expresses that they have no reason to respect you (which includes your knowledge and experience) right off the bat as things stand. You might think, "No problem, I'm a good person and I'll earn their respect in the course of helping them become a great nurse." The disconnect that you don't yet know about is that, by that time, the specific ways that respect is earned very well may change, because newer generations of nurses will have newer ideas about it.

I think in all generations we should be careful that wanting others to earn respect doesn't become confused with generally disregarding people as a basic premise. It's actually a pretty fine line.

Nah, I see what you're talking about. I don't think I am better than anyone who has come before me. Nor am I saying I don't have basic respect for everyone, which I do. But the idea that this person is better than me because blah blah blah, is something I don't subscribe to. I think we have something to learn from everyone.

I honestly think we should stop separating ourselves so much. We're all nurses here to care for patients, whether I'm a new young nurse or a new older nurse or an experience nurse or blah blah.

I love to learn from everyone and I wish people would leave their problems at the door to come together and give patients the best care based on what we have found to work best.

Hostility in the workplace does nothing good. In my city, it lead to the death of a baby because the aide was too afraid of the nurse to speak up about her fear that the baby was cold because this nurse was unkind to her in the past.

Honestly I just hate the idea that each generation thinks the next sucks because of some arbitrary thing that you think you did better. Each one sucks in their own way and we should work to make improvements for the next generation so that we know that they have it better than us :)

This is all over the place, I just woke up from a nap :S

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ClaraRedheart has 4 years experience as a BSN, RN and works as a Med-Surg Tele Nurse.

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Maybe they're oblivious to it? I don't know them personally, and can't judge. But I never would have believed that some of my co-workers could behave in the way that they do if I didn't start charging. I was in an evidence based practice class and heard one of the former students during a panel describe the reaction to her EBP project on lateral violence. She said the ones that gave the most pushback and that denied that there was a problem were usually the biggest bullies. In fact, one of the instigators went on to apply for a masters and did a paper on lateral violence, and consulted the EBP fellow. After doing some research herself, and reading, she was surprised that she did a lot of the things that were classified as bullying. So, basically; to those that deny that lateral violence happens... your actions may be considered as bullying by others. Chances are, you probably don't care about the others anyways though.

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1,084 Likes; 7 Followers; 21,222 Visitors; 2,678 Posts

Thanks for the reply.

Ultimately I've come to base most of my (internal, personal) thoughts about whether I respect someone mostly upon my observations of whether or not they seem to genuinely and regularly try to treat people the way they themselves wish to be treated. Do they expect from themselves what they expect from others. If people do try to treat others that way, I probably have some respect for them. If they clearly don't (or don't care) - - not so much. And that's about all it boils down to.

Hostility in the workplace does nothing good. In my city, it lead to the death of a baby because the aide was too afraid of the nurse to speak up about her fear that the baby was cold because this nurse was unkind to her in the past.

Okay, this - - - I know nothing of the case itself, but I will say very generally that someone that scared over something that poses ZERO real risk to themselves (unkindness) has an incredibly huge, pathologic problem. This may actually bring us right back to square one in this discussion. We should be kind. If Unkind Nurse was actually unkind, that was wrong. If someone's belief or perception that someone was unkind causes them to not act when it's a matter of life and death, that is pathologic. Both of those things are true. Period. No pass for unkindness and no pass for personal sensitivity and irrational fear that turns out to be deadly. Noooo way.

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30 Likes; 1 Follower; 12,488 Visitors; 1,588 Posts

Maybe they're oblivious to it? I don't know them personally, and can't judge. But I never would have believed that some of my co-workers could behave in the way that they do if I didn't start charging. I was in an evidence based practice class and heard one of the former students during a panel describe the reaction to her EBP project on lateral violence. She said the ones that gave the most pushback and that denied that there was a problem were usually the biggest bullies. In fact, one of the instigators went on to apply for a masters and did a paper on lateral violence, and consulted the EBP fellow. After doing some research herself, and reading, she was surprised that she did a lot of the things that were classified as bullying. So, basically; to those that deny that lateral violence happens... your actions may be considered as bullying by others. Chances are, you probably don't care about the others anyways though.

So if we don't agree that bullying is a big problem we are in fact bullies ourselves? Really?

Couldn't labeling somebody who simply doesn't agree with you be seen as an act of aggression and therefore bullying?

I do not bully my co-workers or anybody else. However, you are correct in your assessment of the fact that I don't let others opinion of me dictate my actions.

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heron has 40 years experience and works as a bedside nurse on hospice inpatient unit.

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So if we don't agree that bullying is a big problem we are in fact bullies ourselves? Really?

Couldn't labeling somebody who simply doesn't agree with you be seen as an act of aggression and therefore bullying?

I do not bully my co-workers or anybody else. However, you are correct in your assessment of the fact that I don't let others opinion of me dictate my actions.

Indeed, some of this rhetoric around bullying seems to be geared more to dictating others' behavior and forcing co-workers to be more therapeutic than is really called for in a work setting.

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563 Likes; 3 Followers; 25,917 Visitors; 5,221 Posts

So, basically; to those that deny that lateral violence happens... your actions may be considered as bullying by others. Chances are, you probably don't care about the others anyways though.

Saying that you've neither experienced nor witnessed bullying does not mean that you deny its existence, nor does it mean that you must be a bully or don't care about others. There actually ARE places out there where nurses behave like decent human beings!

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Never been bullied.

Have been scolded, embarrassed, feelings hurt, vented on.. never bullied.

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