Nurses Calling Patients "Jerks"

PacoUSA, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2012

Let me just clarify that I was on this same unit for months as a student before I was hired on as staff 2 months ago, so I have had ample opportunity to work with many of these difficult patients, while also recognizing that I still have more to see. Sure, I may have had negative thoughts about some of them, but never would I vent with the staff in such a negative way. I am very neutral in my comments and don't resort to name calling, and that is just my nature overall. I don't want to develop a reputation for doing things like this. It is presumptuous and false to think that I will become one of these nurses eventually. I am not a 20-something new grad with no life experience. I had a 15-year career before nursing where I worked with even worse clients, clients that were not sick but had other non-health related problems. Never once did I name call them behind their backs. I can't imagine that nursing would change my personality so drastically.

mazy · Sep 1, 2012

I've never heard a nurse call a patient a jerk. That sounds rather bland. I've had nurses describe a series of abusive, intolerable, despicable behaviors from patients and then despair of how to deal with them. And on occasion, I've heard nurses say that the patient is acting like a real "whatever" today. Not as an overall personality assessment, simply as a description of the bx of the moment.

I have also heard nurses describe patients for what they are: violent, or verbally abusive, on manipulative, or sexually inappropriate, rude, needy, or etc. That is important information that needs to be passed on in report.

You've been doing this job for two months. Doesn't matter if you worked on the unit as a student before, since you were not in a position to be dealing directly with and making decisions about and taking full responsibility for patient care issues.

Come talk about this the day you have to call security to escort a family member off the floor, or walk you to your car. Or when a patient punches you or kicks you or screams in your face and you have to just grin and bear it until you leave the room.

You say you've worked with challenging populations before you became a nurse. Plenty of veteran nurses out there who have been working with challenging patient populations a lot longer. And a lot of us are very nice, caring, compassionate people. Despite the occasional snarky remark.

It's hubris to think that you are somehow better than they because nothing has happened to you. Yet.

Sooner or later, in everyone's life, something happens that will challenge everything they think that they know about themselves.

It'll happen to you and you won't be prepared for it, so best to learn now -- while you're still new and fresh -- how to open your mind.

KelRN215, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2012

Consider this: so far in your life, have you noticed that some percentage of the general population are jerks? The same percentage applies to your patient population.

THIS. Some patients are jerks. Their illness doesn't take away their baseline jerkiness. I work in pediatrics and let me tell you, there were plenty of night shifts where the backroom banter was all about the crazy parent in room 10. I don't have any problem with people venting out of ear shot of the patient.

VictoriaGayle · Sep 1, 2012

I am a new nurse, and I hope I don't ever become one of these nurses. I work on a demanding medicine floor, where many patients become quite needy and require a lot of attention from the nurses. I have been appalled to notice that some of the nurses on my floor resort to bashing patients while they are at the nurses station. I have heard some of them refer to certain difficult patients as jerks (or worse), and if told by the CNA or another nurse that their patient needs pain meds, they roll their eyes and in a huff go to pain scale them.
I don't know if I am wrong in feeling the way I do. I know how hard our jobs are and I realize it's therapeutic for nurses to vent about their work, but this just seems to go beyond venting. I don't feel patients deserve to be name-called at all. Some of these nurses are also the same ones that say on report that certain patients are difficult to handle in some way, but then when I have them, I get along with them very well (except for one old lady I once had, she was nice to no one, but I never bashed her with other nurses). So I take with a grain of salt what nurses report to me about the patient's demeanor. Perhaps I have a different approach? Sometimes I do give off a "I will take great care of you but I won't tolerate crap" approach. Perhaps also because I am male? Who knows.
Thanks for listening. This has been bugging me for a little while and just wanted to put it out there.

The part I put in bold, I've delt with that in LTC. Some residents are very difficult. But many of the ones people complain about just need someone to actually be nice to them. I do get rather upset when I see people acting like all of their patients or residents are just horible and and evil, but really its just them being in a bad mood, or the patient reacting to the way they treat them, or they are in pain or need their depend changed.

libby11 · Sep 1, 2012

The professional nurse does not describe a patient as a jerk at the nurses' station... but it can be done at the bar after work without stating name &/or identifying characteristics. IMO.

Also... having to verbalize that your patient was a jerk, needy, difficult, etc., to me--is a sign of weakness. Instead of verbalizing it to others it would behoove the nurse to focus on how to provide better care and how to develop in self-control, by keeping the needless comments to oneself. After all, what good does it do to tell your friends you met a jerk. Don't dwell on it, share a great story instead, attitude is contagious. IMO.

So there's always two sides to the story

JZ_RN · Sep 2, 2012

I am not an "old nurse" not a "new nurse" but I have been a nurse for over a year now and let me tell you

SOME PATIENTS ARE REALLY JERKS.

Do I say it to their face or others? No. But I think it in my head. I know it. They know it. Other nurses, aides, MDS, everyone knows it.

The patients on the other hand can say any nasty rude thing they want to us and it's okay.

Unfortunately healthcare sees nurses as servants and emphasizes customer service. I just hope someday us nurses can tell people the truth.

Yes you need this cath or your bladder will explode cause you can't pee, and no, percocets aren't tic-tacs. Some people are honestly just big, stupid, jerks.

meatballgirl · Sep 2, 2012

Some people are jerks. Just because they are sick, they don't go all nice. Instead they get worse. And calling them a "jerk" is nothing. The patients probably deserved to be called worse. Put in some more years as a nurse and I'm sure you'll be calling them something far worse. Lots of people I know have rose-colored lens on when they are in school, but then they go and work on the floor or ER or whatever and my god, I've heard some bad stories. So pay no attention and do your thing.

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2012

In the cosmic scheme of things, "jerk" is not such a bad thing to be called.

If it relieves some of the pressure, so a nurse doesn't explode, I consider it rather harmless.

opossum · Sep 2, 2012

Never once did I name call them behind their backs. I can't imagine that nursing would change my personality so drastically.

It sounds like for you, this is not really an issue of nurses speaking ill of patients, but one of *people in general* not speaking ill of one another. If that's the case...if you've never said a bad word about anyone - ever - then you are a better person than I am.

As for myself, I'm human and will admit to badmouthing other people when I feel they are acting entitled, rude or abusive. And no, it should never happen within earshot of patients...sometimes it does and that's unfortunate.

Just curious...why do you think that it is "presumptuous and false" to think you'll never become "one of those nurses"? Do you mean you'll never say anything bad about another person? I'm not trying to antagonize you here...I guess I just want to know what you mean by that.

Asands · Sep 2, 2012

Oh yes I totally agree with you on this one. I remember being shocked at what nurses said over patients when i first started working in a hospital and then caught myself doing it after awhile as well. Its a way to vent frustration at patients who are probably making things more difficult then it should be. It is important to remind nurses that there are bounds to their comments. for example, i had to remind me coworkers its inappriopriate to make jokes about a male patient who dressed in drag. nurses are humans i realise but we should try to remain professional

AgentBeast, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2012

Some patient's are jerks because well they are jerks.

Others are jerks because they are scared, nervous, or in pain.

You just try not to take anything personally and stay professional.

LCinTraining · Sep 2, 2012

Sure we vent when at the desk quietly and you bet I'm going to hand off in report that a patient is needy. I'm also going to share what tricks I've learned to help me get out quicker. Must fluff the pillow a. certain way or they will take twenty minutes telling you that your doing it wrong, or making you reapply Chapstick over and over again for fifteen minutes? True story.

Some patients can take a thirty second task and draw it out for twenty minutes. Have a patient that is ****** as hell that he's hospitalized and wants the world to know it while being non compliant with treatment because he's ****** he's in the hospital? Yes, I'm passing that on as well. They need to know they are going to be in for a fight to accomplish their therapeutic goals. Maybe they can think of something I can't.I also know I've gotten report that people were jerks and been fine with them, but sometimes a patient looks at someone and they remind them of their mother in law or something and they determine to make life miserable for that nurse or aide. Does it change the fact that they are still a jerk? No. Does it mean I pause outside the door, take a deep breath and force a smile on my face before I enter the room? Yes.