Nurse manager who yells at people

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I've been a critical care RN for nearly 20 years. Recently a new nurse manager was hired. When some of us have gone to her with concerns or grievances, she gets very defensive and yells- almost screams at times- she does not let the person talk, and raises her voice louder and louder, and simply does not listen. This is creating very poor morale, as you can imagine. Some of us have 20+ years of experience, while others are relatively new and still learning. This manager has less than 10 years exp., and not in our speciality, she has never been in a management position until now. We feel it is not only disrespectful and demeaning to be treated this way, it is downright abusive. I've never encountered this in my career, and most of us just try to avoid her. She is much nicer to the staff with less experience, and it seems she is intimidated by professionals with more experience and knowledge than she has. She is an entirely different person when our director is around, and he does not see a problem. Talking to the director was met w/comments such as "You need to give her a chance". We all walk on eggshells around her. Short of losing all our experienced staff, are there any suggestions?

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

I second a couple comments on here. First, when she yells, very calmly ask "why are you screaming?" Don't yell back or engage in a argument…just say it in an even, calm voice and she may begin to realize that she is in the wrong when she yells.

I also agree with the idea of going to the director as a group. If it was the director who hired her, of course the director is going to say "give her time." It's going to be egg on the director's face if she has to get rid of the manager she just hired after such a short time. Go as a group. Each person should present exact scenarios of inappropriate behavior of the manager. Don't do something foolish like threatening a mass resignation--you never know how that will work out for you. If a bunch of experienced nurses go to the director, she is more likely to realize there is a problem. While things might not change immediately, she will be, if she is smart, on the lookout for these behaviors from the NM.

Specializes in CEN, CFRN, PHRN, RCIS, EMT-P.

Again, we only know one side of the story here, the only evidence of wrong doing by the Director is what the OP stated here, I don't know what the definition of "yelling" is by the OP, I also don't know what the staff on the floor is doing wrong to cause the alleged reaction, there's simply not enough here for me to judge the other side.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

While I agree with most of the previous posts ... I want to add another option. Quitting your job and/or making a big stink about something isn't always in your best interest. You end up hurting yourself more than the person who is actually in the wrong.

I would try to make friends with her first. She may well be overwhelmed with her new job and/or intimidated by the more experienced nurses. If either is the case, confronting her head-on may well be the worst strategy to use. I would be gentle with her and actively seek ways to show that you support her -- and that she can count on you for support and good advice. You want her to come to you for advice and information, not the less experienced staff. So do whatever you can to feel safe in coming to you.

Remember, animals lash out when they are anxious and scared. You have to talk in soothing tones and help them to feel safe before they will let you pet them. People are a lot like that. If she feels you are attacking her, she will think of you as the enemy and having your boss view you as the enemy is never a good thing. But if you can help her feel that you support her and want her to be successful, you may be able to help her settle in and be a better manager.

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
Problem being that "eventually" occurs after the quality staff have been run off.

In some cases, it takes running off eras of staff - the originals plus their replacements plus the next set of replacements,etc

Most places have a chain of command. I would suggest you follow it until you get the resolution you need. Start with the manager herself and email her with your concerns and suggestions, then go from there. I would suggest written communication only, so there is no "but she SAID…", unless you have a witness with you.

Because emails do not convey tone, it takes that part out of it. So that you can get down to the real issues and ways to solve them.

Well, what worked for us was surreptitiously recording her diatribes. Even though recordings are not admissible in court, the director was very interested when presented with concrete proof of her verbal/emotional abuse. The verbal abuse, coupled with her poor decisions re: staff, led to her termination. 10 months after she was hired, she is finally gone. The sad part is, we lost almost 1/2 our staff under her reign of terror.

Well, what worked for us was surreptitiously recording her diatribes. Even though recordings are not admissible in court, the director was very interested when presented with concrete proof of her verbal/emotional abuse. The verbal abuse, coupled with her poor decisions re: staff, led to her termination. 10 months after she was hired, she is finally gone. The sad part is, we lost almost 1/2 our staff under her reign of terror.

To be completely honest, I’m confused. In your original post about two weeks ago you said that your nurse manager was recently hired and in the next post you added the information that a lot of the senior nurses were “already” looking for other jobs and interviewing.

Now you say that this nurse manager has been there for ten months? And that you’ve lost almost half your staff? Have these nurses looked for new jobs, been interviewed and resigned, all the past two weeks? I genuinely don’t understand the timeline here. From your OP I gathered that this nurse manager was new to your unit.

Either way, I’m glad that the problem you had seems to have been solved. Hopefully you’ll now have a more harmonious atmosphere at work.

Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.

Less than a year ago is "recent" to me. I don't see anything suspect in her timeline.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

At least she is gone, albeit damage done.

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Well, what worked for us was surreptitiously recording her diatribes. Even though recordings are not admissible in court, the director was very interested when presented with concrete proof of her verbal/emotional abuse. The verbal abuse, coupled with her poor decisions re: staff, led to her termination. 10 months after she was hired, she is finally gone. The sad part is, we lost almost 1/2 our staff under her reign of terror.

Can't recommend replicating this approach: it is rife with liability for the individuals who did the recording and the organization itself.

Specializes in Critical care.

Big article in the wash post today about how toxic managers/ bosses can cause mental and physical illnesses. I hate my job. Have been off for 2 months due to the stress at work with the nurse lunatic manager. I dread going back.

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