Tired of hearing about the kids.

  1. I don't know why this bothers me. Probably because I spend five days a week working my butt off in an pediatric emergency room and I am tired! Here is what bothers me.

    We started out with full time nurses who worked really hard. Then they all decided at the age of 40 that they wanted to return to school to be FNP's. Fine. Your entitled to enrich your life. Most of them went part time and some PRN. For those who decided to not return to school decided to get pregnant. Every year. Again. Fine. I don't have to take care of them, so have as many kids as you would like. Here in lies the problem. I have kids of my own. I see 200 crying children a day. The ONE day a month you decide to come to work, all you want to do is talk about your kids, show pictures and videos. Try working or picking up patients. I am overloaded with kids and do not want to see your videos. People need to realize, just because YOU enjoy your kids and their every milestone, does not mean your co-workers want to as well. How do you tell your once a month, or 8 hour a week co-worker that you dont want to hear anything about their kids? An occasional picture is OK. But these people are overloading us with pictures and videos. It's so annoying. Can we have some adult conversation?
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    Joined: Nov '11; Posts: 12; Likes: 38


  3. by   carolmaccas66
    Yes I too would be greatly annoyed by this! I like looking at some pics, but when people want to show you 50,000 photos of basically the same image it gets highly boring.
    Can't you tell them straight or schedule a meeting for everyone with the NUM?
    There is a diversion tactic we use in psych nursing that may work as well:
    When they bring out the photos/videos (can't believe they have TIME to do this in an ED/ER!), don't look at it, then say something like: I'm very busy can you do such and such for me (or whatever). DO NOT COMMENT ON THE PHOTO etc. If u do then they are sucking you in (for want of a better word) to 'their world'. If you start commenting to be polite, they automatically take that that you're interested & go on and on. Just keep diverting the conversation away from what they are showing you, & they will get the message, believe me.
    I'm sorry but I don't tolerate any BS now; I'd be onto the NUM right away. Do it today if you're at work and lodge a complaint if it's that bad. The NUM may not be aware this is happening.
    Let us know how u get on anyway.
  4. by   BlueDevil,DNP
    I disagree. I care deeply about my coworkers and their families, and I love to hear about their milestones and share the journey! I am very pleased to work with people who genuinely treasure one another.
  5. by   JDZ344
    I make one positive comment about the kids and then change the subject. for example: "Oh, s/he is so smart! Oh, is that the time? I better go and turn Mr. Smith/check that guys blood pressure etc"

    Repeat as needed. They get the hint in the end.
  6. by   NurseCard
    I agree with KatieP86; make a nicey-nice comment like "Oh, they're cute kids", and then change the subject or find yourself something that you "have" to do right then!

    Not saying a THING... that would probably work, but you would also probably come off as rude and hateful. But, a lot of
    people honestly don't care what their coworkers think of them, which is perfectly fine.

    I used to work in a fairly small hospital; the ER there certainly would get rather quiet at times, allowing for this sort of behavior. =)
  7. by   akanini
    Work time is work time. OP, I totally agree with you and carol gave some great advice. Try it!
  8. by   ProgressiveActivist
    I thought it was just me. But I do try to be kind. It must be hard for them to be away from their children.
  9. by   caroladybelle
    I actually wrote a thread about this a while back.I had 7 pregnant coworkers, most of them for the first time, and 5 over the age of 34.

    My lord, you would have thought that no one had ever been pregnant like them. There was not one lunch hour (for them, closer to 2 hours) that was not a barrage of sore and cracked nipples, discussion of pregnancy constipation, and in-depth discussion of hormonal issues/impending birth.We suffered through the violent mood swings of the assisted conception from conception thru birth, just to hear her spoil the child, and then have complaints about the child's behavior. And she is talking about doing it again.I, of course, cannot say a word about childrearing. You see, my one child is by guardianship, and that does not count in their eyes.
    Last edit by caroladybelle on Jan 2, '12 : Reason: Inability to get the paragraphs to set
  10. by   OCNRN63
    I find it extremely frustrating to deal with "The Mommies" at times. It's as if you're invisible if you don't have kids. Funny how if you don't have kids you're supposed to sit through multiple discussions about their children, but if you have something to talk about, people don't want to listen.

    Even if someone doesn't have children, they still have a family. They may have a spouse, parents, siblings, etc. It really wouldn't kill "The Mommies" to ask about their childless co-workers.
  11. by   caregiver1977
    I have 5 children ranging in ages from 2 to 9 years old. I couldn't agree with the OP's post MORE!
  12. by   carolmaccas66
    There's this strange phenomenon at work that many people don't seem to get:
    YOU ARE AT WORK TO WORK! There is time in the break room to look at photos etc. And not acknolwedging is not being rude.
    You could also say something like: I really don't have time to look at those now, we can grab a coffee after work when I'm not so stressed (emphasise you are busy or stressed). And I do not think it is appropriate when everyone is running their tails off & other people are not doing their work and chattering on re their last grandchild or holiday. Do u think that is fair to other colleagues? If you respect & love your colleagues you will help work with them.
    It irritates me no end when I'm working hard and others just seem to swan around laughing, & you ask them to help, then they are suddenly 'too busy', then go back to talking re their holiday they just came back from!
    I remember a woman I worked with years ago in an office. I don't think she saw her grandchild much. She literally used to bring in hundreds of photos that she got sent of her grandchild (can't rem if he/she lived in another state or not?). Everybody got sick of her chasing after them to go thru these photos, & we all decided we had 2 be rude & say we can't look at them, as we weren't getting our work done. The superviser had to have a word with her, then she got upset & miffed. But she really was unbearable. Then one day I said let's have coffee after work, & I will look at your photos. She was happy after that, I think she got the message. But looking at hundreds of photos of the same grandchild is wearying, I mean, how many snapshots can u take of one child? I have treasured shots/videos of my nieces etc but I don't whip them out at work when people are busy, I think doing THAT to busy people is just plain rude.
    My brother owns a big business, he would not tolerate this for one second, as his employees sign a contract and know they are there to work, not stand round & gossip. Private enterprise: if you don't get work done on time, customers drop off, you lose your job cos there's no work. Simple.
  13. by   Lynx25
    I dislike this practice, I dislike nurses who bring their rugrats to work to root around the break room, and I dislike it when "Mommy" gripes about scheduling because she has kids and can't bear to leave the precious little angels alone.

    You are not a special snowflake because you can pop one out. And, unless your kid is doing something spectacular in this picture, such as jumproping with live powerlines, I am not very interested.
  14. by   llg
    I'll admit ... I've been known to play "one-upsmanship" sometimes and tell them how my nieces and nephews did something even better than their kid. I give them that "My family is so superior to your dumpy kids" look and they stop.

    I know: that's not very nice of me ... but sometimes that's the best I can do.