Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 155

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   RNDreamer
    You keep telling me that you are going to leave, but you are still here. Why do you insist on teasing me?
  2. by   enchantmentdis
    Uh, i am not the doctor, but to hazard a diagnosis i would say that yours is PBBB. What is that you ask? It means pine box by bedside.
  3. by   enchantmentdis
    Your 99 year old mom is on hospice and you are concerned she has a temp of 99 F and has a cough once in awhile, and you tell me not to let mom die. Man, you are a very histrionic relative; i don't appreciate drama queens (how often do you get your fake nails filled, btw); and why is your demented mother on hospice if you don't want her to die? She's on because the doctor talked you in to it? Funny, you don't look like the kind of person who can be talked into anything. Ever heard of firing a doctor if you don't like him? Oh it's the same doctor that i have to call and tell him with a shrill voice that the pt has a temp, cough, and may have aspirated, and that the daughter is freaking out over every little thing and doesn't like you one bit, dear doctor. You tell me you don't like that doc and don't want me to call him because he won't give antibiotics and just wants your mom to die and talked your mom into horrible hospice care? Have you ever thought of the possibility that your mom would like YOU to die because you are too immature to let HER die? Sorry, deary, but by virtue of the fact that you called the agency and stated "my mom is near death" i have to make my documentation show that i care at least a whit about you and your mom, that i called the doctor and reported a so-called "change of condition", and that i am diligently and intelligently working "intimately" with said doctor to palliate your precious mom's symptoms, blah, blah, blah, and oh, by the way, don't you realize that we have to call the doctor even if your mom farts, utters obscenities, or coughs just once per hour? Even though i wouldn't deam of pestering a doctor or nurse when my 15 year old coughs, flips a bird once in awhile, or gets a slight fever. Can't you handle this **** by yourself? Oh, yeah, and you may think you are all powerful and mighty, but you cannot tell me what doctor to call, and no you can't make him order any meds he doesn't want to order. Oh, now that i am off the phone you want to grouse about the prednisone order, which is only for three days, and you want me to call the doctor and question his judgement. Sorry, no can do. Call the fruzen doctor yourself. Oh, by the way, are you a nurse? Oh, you are a teacher--should have known, all you know-it-all teachers are the same, not an iota of common sense, don't trust medical people, and are a big pain in the ass. Now, let me get the heck out of here so i don't get overtime, if you please. No, i cannot make the volunteer come tomorrow and stay for five hours while you go play golf with your other blue rinses. GOOD GRIEF!
    Last edit by dianah on Feb 28, '11 : Reason: Terms of Service: use all *s
  4. by   redhead_NURSE98!
    Quote from Pepper The Cat
    Please please please just take your pills and let me leave the room because I HAVE TO GO PEE!!

    This is that little lovely women who wants to take her pills one... at... a.. time. Very..... slowly......... so .........she .........won't........choke. And has about 10 pills to take!!
    I like the ones that wanna know what every pill is after I put them in the cup together...and I only put them in the cup together AFTER I read them off the computer, tell them what it's for and ask them if they want to take each of those or if there are any you'd like to leave out (like colace for a walkie-talkie who hasn't taken any PRN narcotic meds the whole day.)
  5. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from redhead_NURSE98!
    I like the ones that wanna know what every pill is after I put them in the cup together...and I only put them in the cup together AFTER I read them off the computer, tell them what it's for and ask them if they want to take each of those or if there are any you'd like to leave out (like colace for a walkie-talkie who hasn't taken any PRN narcotic meds the whole day.)
    I know! This happened to me 2 weeks ago. I had 2 psych patients who were supposed to have meds at a certain time. One was a sleeping tablet so that didn't matter what time that was taken. The others were meds at scheduled times, and these patients would NOT TAKE their meds at these times. I tried to explain they were anti-psychotics and the importance of taking them at the same time every day (they were taken once a day), but my explanation fell on deaf ears. Being psych patients, you have to be patient but I had to go waaay back up the corridor and check which med was which - God those two drove me nuts that day. One of the nurses said one of the patients was so set in her ways, she only takes meds at times when it suits her! And the doctors and other nurses couldn't care less! Why do we bother!
  6. by   firstaiddave908
    or if a pts family member comes out of the room and snaps there fingers and expects you to get up right that seccond and go take take care of that persion.
  7. by   carolmaccas66
    You smell REALLY bad - you have the WORSE SMELL I have ever encountered.
    To all those patients who DO NOT have dementia - yes, you really DO HAVE to wash EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even though you have been lying in bed all day and 'doing nothing', you still sweat and shed skin cells so you do have to bathe.
    And here is another idea: when you bathe, you have to actually lift those folds of skin and scrub reeeally well to get your skin clean and fresh. Gliding a washcloth across the area or letting the water just trickle on you isn't going to cut it.
    You also have to launder your clothes every day - yes, even underwear - cos THAT stinks too.
    Am so tired of these stinky old people (who do not have dementia or any other form of memory loss), who say 'Oh I had a shower yesterday so I don't need one today!' Same goes for some of the younger patients to.
    Don't these people bathe at home every day? Or are they just ignorant.
    Makes me wonder about the human race in general.
  8. by   pajoopie1
    I had this patient that was soooo stinky. Stinkiest I'd ever have. You could smell him from the door. And it was this REALLY weird smell. I had never smelled it before.

    On Saturday I told him he needed to bathe and told the NA. The pt stated he had bathed so she didn't bother to push it, of course. On Sunday I told him and the NA he had to bathe. He told me he had bathed. I said, "You may have, but you put the same pajamas back on. You smell bad. You need a bath and to take off the pajamas and put them in a bag and close the bag off and put on a fresh hospital gown."

    He said, Okay. And did it. So sometimes you really can tell these things to the patient!

    I also tell them things like, "No, you have to do that yourself." "no, I won't raise the head of the bed, you need to keep your hands working." etc.

    Btw, the NA figured out that it was the urine that smelled so bad. So we got a sample of it. It was the darkest, cloudiest, stinkiest urine I'd ever seen! mystery solved!
  9. by   fuzzywuzzy
    No, I will not ask the nurse to get you some Mylanta for your "heartburn." You had all the MoM you can take, you had the suppository you insisted upon, you've been on the toilet every 20 minutes all day long, and now I KNOW you're faking the heartburn because there is MoM in Mylanta! Just get over it! You've crapped enough today!!!!!

    I'm not even listening to you, you know. Stop blathering on and on and on about every imaginary "problem" under the sun. I'm tired of your "no one is paying enough attention to me so I'm going to be sad and pitiful" act.
  10. by   pajoopie1
    ?? what is MoM? Is this someone with an eating disorder?
  11. by   Pepper The Cat
    ?? what is MoM?
    Milk of Magnesia.
  12. by   fuzzywuzzy
    Quote from pajoopie1
    ?? what is MoM? Is this someone with an eating disorder?
    Well, she is well into her 90s, and I know that people that age were raised to think that bowel movements are the be-all-end-all, but I wouldn't be surprised if she has a history of disordered eating. She is suuuuuper picky about her food and how much she eats. That could also be a part of her bowel obsession though. She IS always talking about her "fat stomach" though, so who knows.
  13. by   carolmaccas66
    Yeh fuzzywuzzy
    A lot of older people like to pooh 1-2 times per day. I suppose Grandma gave them the cod liver oil when they were younger to help them along!
    I had a 96 year old lady who used to drink a bottle of MOM every day. And she too was obsessed with her bowels - she used to try and dig out any little bits of pooh from her bottom and hand them to us. And she was not Dx with dementia. We were always scrubbing her nails so her family wouldn't see the pooh underneath them and give us a hard time. God I hated being a nurse assistant then!
    Just too weird.