Please Help - I have no where else to turn - page 3
In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like... Read More
Jul 9, '12I hope today is much better than yesterday! And I hope your employer reacts with empathy and support.
Jul 9, '12i agree with counseling, but disagree about the eap. i would never do something that would tip the employer off that you need mental health treatment in any way. i'd get it privately, possibly pay for it out of pocket depending on what your facility is like. i wouldn't want my employer to have any sort of information they could use against me. (legally they can't do it, but there are ways around those rules.)
i agree with fmla if you need it; if you can get your provider to justify it in some other way than mental health issues that would be great.)
Jul 9, '12I am sorry you were hurt to that point of a meltdown by that filthy patient. Another commentor said something like...oh, you should not have let your self get emotionally involved, stay neutral...that is such a contradictory statement! All the nursing management and the whole profession like to tout how caring and compassionate nursing is. To me, you would have to be a little STEPFORD nurse to practice in a manner where "you dont get emotionally involved ". I think when the crazy called you FAT probably took you over the edge. Nothing can hurt a woman more than being called a fat f##k. Take your Fmla, and know I am sending peaceful thoughts your way.
Jul 9, '12Sounds like this incident was the icing on the cake, and you're burnt out. I just wish that you had realized it sooner before jeopardizing your job (which I know, you don't really care about right now since you don't want to go back, but it does jeopardize your nursing future even away from the bedside).
Was this patient A/Ox4, and verbally abusing you? Nothing ticks me off more than when patients who are alert and oriented think it's okay to threaten or verbally abuse staff. It's not okay in society...you would get cited, fined, police involvement, etc, but it's okay in the hospital b/c patients are in pain. That is BS, no excuse. Anyway, tangent lol. When a patient treats me like that, I do tell them that I will not tolerate that (calmly of course), and I tell them that if they continue to do so I will get security to come sit with them at their bedside because people that threaten to harm you (even if it's just a threat), could still harm you (though I have only been threatened once I think from an a/o pt, and I put them in their place). Now if it's a patient with dementia, neuro injury, withdrawal, etc, then that's different altogether.
I am so sorry you went through this, and I hope you can get some time off and work away from the bedside or at least leave on good terms. If you can, I really would try to work your notice so you can leave on good terms if you think you can do it safely.
Jul 9, '12What a terrible way to walk into work. So sorry that you had to experience this. Hugs hugs and hugs to you! I am young and have only been a nurse for 4 years, so my experience is limited. When I first got out of school a patient told me I was not even competent enough to clean his toilet!! I am still adjusting to this sort of thing! I sometimes feel like I can never do enough or anything right for some of these patients..soo frustrating! I totally support good quality patient driven care, however, sometimes I wish I could tell these demanding patients "This is a hospital and not a resort.."
Hang in there, I hope things get better for you! It's okay to be miserable for a little while Then let it go...and know that you are needed and important
Jul 9, '12Quote from abbakingI hope you can check in again so we can help continue to support you most of us have been in that situation in one form or another. Whether we "verbalize" it the way you did or not. I hope you can take some time to step back and re-evaluate and fill yourself back up
If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible
Jul 9, '12Call the police and have her arrested for assault and battery. She will cool off when she is in handcuffs.
JMHO and my NY $0.02.
Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN
Somewhere in the PACNW
Jul 9, '12Find some professional help immediately. You do need help. Hugs to you too. I am a "dinosaur" in nursing. 41 years to be exact. I have learned over the years that when a person throws things, calls names, and then threatens you that you walk out of the room, notify the charge nurse and the nursing supervisor. This patient is a danger to you, the facility, and the patient in the next bed. Do not, I repeat, do not try to talk to or reason with a person who is acting like this lady did. I have had many nights like you had that night. Hang in there. Maybe there is another kind of nursing you will thrive in. Pediatrics, newborn nursery, home care, hospice, etc. Good luck. Let cooler heads prevail. If nursing is truly not for you, there are many other paths that will open to you. When one door shuts, another opens. I also practice yoga and meditation and that has helped me so much. Hugs to you and many blessings will be yours.
Jul 9, '12Quote from TheCommuterMy husband works in the insurance industry--worker's comp. He's told me several times that in California, employees can file for worker's comp for work-related stress. It sounds like the op's situation would qualify.Here's a hug. ((((((HUGS))))))
You're in California, according to your profile. Back in 2004, when I was living in CA, I went to the first psychiatrist I could find and went on state disability for stress-related issues. The state paid me 2/3 of my gross pay, and I was able to decompress from all of the emotional turmoil that had been going on in my life during the time I was out on stress leave.
It is hard to be nice to a repulsive patient who is talking to you as if you are dog poop. I cannot blame you for screaming back at her.
That being said, I would probably have left the room, called the nursing supervisor and perhaps security to deal with this patient, but I do understand the stress and burnout she's experiencing.
Jul 9, '12Quote from lindarnI do think you should at least talk to an attorney and consider pressing charges. She assaulted you -- and she needs to be held accountable for that. Also, by actually filing charges of assault, it will put your hospital on notice that they need to take this incident seriously -- and consider you the victim of a crime -- and not treat you like you were the instigator.Call the police and have her arrested for assault and battery. She will cool off when she is in handcuffs.
Filing charges may give you some protection (and maybe even compensation / assistance) from your employer. If you don't file charges, they may to blame you for any negative outcomes of this incident.
Jul 9, '12Hey OP. I did something very similar to this a few years ago. I was working in a street clinic for homeless people, and had a REALLY bad day. A cracked-out patient was verbally abusing me for over an hour, then grabbed me and tried to set my shirt on fire with his lighter. It was the culmination of many bad days, and many encounters with mentally unstable, high, drunk patients.
I'm not trying to "one-up" you here, but it's a similar situation; there's only so much anyone can take. I LOST IT with this guy, and basically twisted around and threw him to the floor, judo-style, screaming at him like a banshee the whole time. The security guard (a cop) jumped between us, but we continued to scream at each other: him, high on crack and not bathed in weeks, and me, in torn and smeared makeup. It was quite the scene.
I was hysterical and crying and my boss sent me home. I nosedived into a guilty depression thinking I did everything wrong and that my career was over. Once I finished hyperventilating I calmed the hell down, and took care of business. I called my employers EAP and got counseling lined up; I called my boss and left a message asking for a face to face meeting when I got back; I called HR and filled out an incident report, and called the police and filed a report. These things helped me immensely later on when I filed for a leave of absence and short-term disability.
My boss and I met 2 days later and they were SUPER UNDERSTANDING. They said they had my back, and that if I needed to take a leave of absence they would approve whatever paperwork I filed with the State or for short-term disability. I was SHOCKED they were so cool about it. I ended up taking 2 weeks off, one paid for by vacation and one paid for by short-term disability, which was arranged by the psych I ended up with through the EAP. I went back for 4 months, then quit. AND MOVED ON!
Yeah, my old clinic was not as genteel an atmosphere as a floor in a hospital, but I just wanted to let you know someone else here did what you did and lived to tell about it. My career is fine, I work in case management now and never got a bad reference from anyone who worked in that clinic. You DON'T HAVE TO USE YOUR SUPERVISOR as a reference! You can pick and choose people who were your charge nurses, co-workers, and higher management who could vouch for you. And, you can also be honest. If a potential employer didn't have compassion enough to understand why you reacted the way you did, and the brains to understand that you learned not to do it again, you wouldn't want to work for them anyway.
I kind of applaud what you did, you screamed at that abusive patient for ALL OF US. You will be okay. I promise.
Jul 9, '12If that woman was AO, then I'd page for some meds. If I was physically attacked, guess what? That is psych/assault code. Don't wait, don't let them think they might hide what they've done. Restraint and a nice shot should do. This way as well it will be charted by more than one person...
Edit to add: never assume that the elderly have dementia. How ridiculous. Look. People who treat others poorly often have done so their entire lives. Do you actually think as soon as they turn 75, they are going to become sweet, cute, old people? More often they quickly see the teflon that white hair and wrinkles can give them and their absolutely horrible self gets free reign - what power.Last edit by netglow on Jul 9, '12