Coworker nurse trying to ruin my reputation...

[HM7380]

I've been a nurse for 5 years, and at my present facility for 2. I've come to find out in the last 2 weeks, that another nurse (same position as me - floor nurse) has been spreading lies about me throughout the facility, as well as to other nurses in the area. She is saying I'm 'on drugs' and 'stealing narcotics'. This is a SERIOUS allegation, and I am NOT!! She's basing her entire theory on the fact I give OUT more PRN meds than she does, but this is because I'm actually on the floor, interacting with the patients, who ask me for meds, whereas she sits behind the desk and ignores the call lights. She also used to be an ADON elsewhere, and has the mentality that getting other people in trouble makes HER look better, so she constantly does it.

What should I do? I'm terrified I'm going to be canned for something I haven't done. According to another nurse, shes already gone to the DON with these accusations a while back, but nobody in management has said anything to me. My 2 closest nurse friends have conflicting opinions over what I should do. One says to confront the girl with a witness, then let it blow over. The other says I should go to the DON/Administrator and make a huge deal over it. I'm uncomfortable with the latter, as the upper management and I don't really get along, and I don't want to bring up anything that would give them a reason to terminate me. (I work in a den of snakes. Seriously.)

Fiancee says quit immediately and find another job, because this one is so stressful on multiple levels, and I've been wanting to leave anyway.

Please help! My career/license is at stake here...

[englishgeek]

Not to challenge another person's good intentioned advice, but do not put anything in writing no matter how polite, true, or what your motivations are. These documents can come back and bite you when you least expect it, and in spite of how carefully worded or intentioned they were.

If these rumors are known to many of the staff and this person has gone to the DON with her allegations, you need to be proactive in your response. Make an appointment with your director--you may wish to do this on your own time, and when the accuser is not on the floor. Tell the director that you've heard that 'someone' has been talking about you, making false allegations and you need her advice for your response. You can say, "I hear there are rumors circulating that I'm diverting meds, or that I have a chemical addiction, and I want to give you my word that that is completely baseless and unfounded." But, don't mention names, don't react emotionally, don't sound threatening, and don't mention quitting or that you work with snakes.

The best course is asking her advice and guidance, "What should I do?" This will put the ball in her court, allow her to be your advocate, and hopefully she will address this issue with the person spreading rumors.

Good luck!

Definitely this. Asking for advice without going for names immediately puts her on YOUR side; it's almost impossible not to be! Hopefully there will be no need for "sides" and she can just give you some advice and you be on your way. But, hey, it couldn't hurt.

[Aongroup1990, CNA]

Pray about it , and let it be....Sometimes we have too..

[BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN]

The only one who can ruin your reputation, is you. Take the high road and the truth will out.

[nursel56]

Unfortunately, these " crazy " accusers are way to often taken seriously.

They must not be ignored and the accusations have to be addressed.

Yep. Snakes just continue to slither. If one rumor doesn't work out, they'll find another, and another, etc. I'm so averse to fighting back I almost let one of these do me in. What motivates them? Don't know. Don't care. But ignoring them isn't a good idea.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I don't know what to suggest, but the good news is your clean and if a blood/urine test were required you would come up clean. I do think I would want to get legal counsel, but can you afford it? They offer a legal services plan where I work, but it won't help out with any workplace conflicts and frankly I wouldn't want to spend the money if work problems are off limits. I would want a full service legal plan including help if I was ever involved in a work dispute.

[PetsToPeople]

You do not need to have a lawyer, because you can sue someone for slader and/or defamation of character in small claims court. And as another poster mentioned you have to have losses and you have to prove your case (that the other person caused these losses) and prove your losses.

Definately address this with your supervisor, definately document, document, document your meds because even if your supervisor says "it's no problem", guess what they are going to use when they want to get rid of you? Absolutely take a drug test, whether your supervisor says you need to take one or not, this is your proof that you are clean, because your word counts for nothing. I would also want a letter written from your supervisor, with the neg drug test, stating that they found you clear of any wrong doings.

If you lose your job, you will have to prove that she is the reason you lost it and that can be difficult to prove, unless your friends can vouch for you and what they heard from your accuser.

This definately cannot go unaddressed...but how to approach it is difficult. Speaking with this accuser will do no good.

[whoa-now]

I have been an RN for 5 years as well. Navigating our first five years after nursing school is tough enough. The LAST THING you need is for your emotions to run amuk (sp?). You need to be focused on your work and your patients. That is where your energy needs to be focused. I totally agree with Patti_RN. Go to the Director, ask them for their advice after explaining the situation in a calm and rational manner. Be professional and sincere. I think talking about this situation from your point of view to the Director may just get you some positive results. I am pretty sure the "higher ups" don't condone what the nasty nurses are doing to you. I honestly think this should be your first step before calling on lawyers etc. Best of luck to you!

[kcmylorn]

This is a tough but unfortunately a very common problem in nursing. Been on the recipient end of some of these situations myself- some I handled well, others not so well- got emotional and told the jack$%^ off. You are going to have to be the one to decide how to handle it. You know the players. and yes. they are players

As some have speculated- this rumor may not be going around, you may have been deliberly told that to get a rise out of you ( being set up),to get you upset enough to make an error. You could go to the DON, who may not know anything about it and you end up feeling and looking like a fool. Or the DON may have heard the rumor and considers the souce, because this nurse may have done this before. the reason why the DON had not approached you on this. Very rarely do people like this do just start on one person and leave it at that It is a pattern of their behavior. That is called serial bullying. and they usually pick a new victim when they have done thier old victim in, usually within 2 weeks of the old victim leaving. These kinds of bullys are usually female and their tactics are very covert. Men usually bully out right and are kind of loud about it. What motivates them is insecurity, jealousy, they feel threatened by their victim or out of bordom and the need to be in the spot light.

Either way- I would watch myself, do not react to them go about my business and don't say anything in that place you don't want repeated. Keep your conversation light and full of fluffy nonsence- weather conditions, I would be the most shallow pimple on her butt. it's when you step back, you will see what is really going on. And trust me, they will be found out.

This happens all the time- they will steal your ideas, take your credit, anything to make them look good. The real threat is if you do get fired for drug diverson- you go before the state board of nursing, could loose your license permenantly and possibly never work again, and may end up with criminal charges, just to entertain a twisted insecure mind. I would tread carefully.

These rumors and games are not funny . They are irresponsible, reckless and mentally ill. And a phrase I hate-"just kidding" don't wash. People get seriously and permanently hurt by"just kidding"

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

The rumors have rumors have rumors. If you are documenting accordingly, assessing patient for pain, medicating per order, patient's response to the pain intervention and your count is correct, I am not sure what the issue could be. What I would perhaps do, is to have a conversation with the DON regarding the enviroment of care, and how you have personally witnessed lateral violence in the workplace, and without getting into "she said that she said that I did.....". I would ask that perhaps it is something that could be brought to light with a staff meeting addressing the general subject of lateral violence in the workplace, and the consequences of those who participate. I think--and this is purely my own observations, and NOT meant as any legal advice to you-- it is a waste of time, energy and money to base a lawsuit on hear-say.

[RNCCMMS, RN]

Be professional, document carefully what patients tell you about their pain, when the med was administered, what relief the patient received. If anyone asks you about patients and their pain med usage, advise them pain assessment is the 5th vital sign according to JCAHO and you are assessing this in your patients. If no one has said anything, it's because they either don't believe it or have checked out the documentation and found no issues.

[sdwmb]

I had the same issue years ago. The nurse I worked with had ruined several others reputations then she started on me! I got her in the nursing station in front of God and everybody and calmly and sincerely told her that if she had proof by all means turn me in, but since she didn't it was defamation of character and I would sue her the next time she decided to gossip about me. (Remember hit people back where it hurts.....the pocket).

I am not a suing type person, and don't know if I really would have but she bought my bluff and I never had anymore problems. Just when you confront be calm and secure.

[DroogieRN]

I think you don't necessarily have to prove a loss with a slander/defamation charge; there is also "defamation per se," which I think basically means the rumors have huge potential to cause you big problems, not that they already have.