"Bless Your Heart"

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  1. "Have a Blessed Day" -- Sincere or Sarcastic?

    • 101
      Sincere
    • 40
      Sarcastic
    • 66
      Sincere but kinda condescending
    • 46
      Should only be used among people of the same religious persuasion
    • 118
      You're making a mountain out of a molehill

371 members have participated

That's a phrase that I'm sure is meant well (most of the time), but for some reason it just grates on my nerves. Most of the time, it strikes me as condescending. It's like the quintessential Southernism Bless your heart,” which I'm coming to learn means nothing of the sort. (According to my late sister-in-law, bless your heart” means You're behaving like a Yankee — synonymous with ‘Troll' — and you have no idea that we're all laughing at you behind your back.” This is the same sister-in-law who referred to me, until her dying day as That dam Yankee my brother brought home.”

Somehow, Have a Blessed Day” just strikes me in the same way — as sarcastic, condescending and insincere. Every time I see a post ending that way, it makes me reassess the content and is sure to get my dander up. I know I'm not the only one who sees it that way. So I'm wondering, how do the majority of AN members see/use the expression?

Specializes in Home Health, Oncology, Geriatrics.

Why do you (OP) care whether or not someone makes outward identification of their spirituality? Does it somehow have an affect on you? Seriously, I don't understand your vehement reaction to the phrase "Blessed day".

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.
If the point is to wish someone a nice day, why not just say, "Have a nice day"? To me, the point of the "blessed day" comment is to make good 'n sure that you know that the speaker is a religious (presumably, Christian) person, and I find that kind of "advertising" pretentious and off-putting.

(Wasn't it Jesus who criticized the Pharisees for making a public display of their piety, and instructed his disciples to pray privately, where no one could see them?)

Its a southern thing. I hear it all the time down here, its just something they say. 90% of the population here is christian, if you don't like it and your northern, they'll tell you to go back where you came from lol

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.
Guess I'm in the "it depends" camp!

I have a Southern-born-raised friend who will use "bless your heart!" when I'm telling her about something that was particularly trying, as though to say "you poor thing!" in empathy.

I also have had the experience of having a co-worker refer to some idiotic patient and say "bless her heart" when she really means "she's a good-intentioned moron, she means well".

And on multiple occasions, hearing a Southerner say "well, bless her heart!" in such a way as to really mean "I can't say what I REALLY think of her, that would be un-Christian of me, so...I'll camoflage it with a 'bless her heart'!"

So.....it depends :)

Yep, it depends on the tone and the context of the conversation. It can be sincere, (Oh you poor thing) sarcastic (Wow youre an idiot) or empathetic (well, its not your fault you were dropped on your head, bless your heart)

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.

The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who gives a sh*t?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart."

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.

This post nails for me what I (a native New Englander) was having a hard time putting into coherent words. Bless your heart, Lil'mama! Thank you!

I'm not surprised you're a fellow new-englandah, tea. :-)

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

They had a card at work for a particulary snarky woman from Tennessee. A few people wrote: Congratulations! Bless your heart.

It was her favorite saying .....

Specializes in CVICU.

I'm from Oklahoma and hear both phrases frequently. It really just depends on the context and tone. I only hear 'bless your heart' really from older people, to be honest. It sounds like something my grandma would say if I were having to work a lot of hours: "Oh, bless his heart!"

I hear "have a blessed day" frequently and though I'm an atheist, I don't really care. Apparently that religious person thinks it'll make a positive impact on my day and that's all that really matters. It doesn't affect me negatively so who cares?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Why do you (OP) care whether or not someone makes outward identification of their spirituality? Does it somehow have an affect on you? Seriously, I don't understand your vehement reaction to the phrase "Blessed day".

Most of the folks I know in real life who wish you a "blessed day" are doing it more to make a show of what good Christians they are than to actually wish you well. It comes across on the internet as being condescending, insincere and rude. I was wondering if people actually meant it that way or if the majority of people actually mean it sincerely.

But then, I've had some bad experiences with organized religion which I admit have colored my views.

I am a Christian and "Have a Blessed" day makes me so mad I have to repent. I think it's because I have seen it used by people cussing and acting like a village idiot, stop and say, You have a blessed day." Last summer I had a raging parent screaming at me. I hung up on her. She called back, I let voice mail pick up and she said, You have a blessed day. Yep, please don't act like a freaking lunatic and bring the Lord into your mess.

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
"Have a Blessed" day makes me so mad I have to repent.

:roflmao:

I have lived in the south for about 25 years of my adult life. I was taught that "Bless her heart" means that she means well, but is clueless.

As for "Have a blessed day" ... it makes me uncomfortable as I do not share the religious sentiment it expresses -- even if it is spoken sincerely.

Much like in the north--"Poor thing, he/she means well...." And "I will pray for you"

All in all I take it as "Ya, OK, WHATEVER......"

It is interesting that people seem to use these kinds of phrases when they make promises to themselves that they are going to "erase negativity from their lives", they are only going to "subscribe to positivity" that they have been to a motivational speaker, and are drinking the koolaid on the karma train. It seems to be practice in putting a "positive spin" on negative opinions.

Specializes in ICU.
I live in Alabama my whole life (45) and when someone says bless your heart its usually means they feel for you but really don't have anything else to say that would be helpful. We also a blessed day which comes from our bible belt ideas that God watch over you and bless you. We also say yes mam and no man out of showing respect for each other.

When I was young no one moved here we were pretty much insulated. The past 15 years Alabama has grown and we have a lot of people moving here from around the country. I've had people from Michigan say we are all keeping slavery alive (they were a white family with adopted black kids ) because we mam and sir. Which I found stupid since the military keeps that tradition. I've only heard people on line say we are not being sincere when we refer to "blessing someone"

I can also tell see that different cultures perceive things differnts. I absolutely had a hard time when children came down hear and just talk to adults like they are adults. I personally dont' see a problem with teaching repsect to elders but I see that traditions are changing with more people coming here for jobs.

I also think the obs family are just jerks. I have to say I may get the use of "bless your heart" as sarcasm when I here someone move here and complain the whole time which honesty we are a culture of being nice and not as blunt as a lot of other culture people can get. Instead of telling you to stop your cribbing just and move back up where you came from they may say "bless your heart yor poor thing it'll get better" They don't mean it they want your ass to move back where you came from LOL

As a former Bama girl, I agree with everything in this post. Bless your heart usually mean that person is trying to be sympathetic.

If the point is to wish someone a nice day, why not just say, "Have a nice day"? To me, the point of the "blessed day" comment is to make good 'n sure that you know that the speaker is a religious (presumably, Christian) person, and I find that kind of "advertising" pretentious and off-putting.

(Wasn't it Jesus who criticized the Pharisees for making a public display of their piety, and instructed his disciples to pray privately, where no one could see them?)

Absolutely. That should not be confused with hiding your faith and treating it like some dirty secret lest someone get offended. I can promise you that the Doctors I have worked with for years who wish me happy Chanukkah(sp?) every year don't do it because they think I'm jewish. And when I wish them merry Christmas I don't do so because I believe they are Christian. None of us are snarky or condescending when we say it so......And if you reject a blessed day just don't have one. I reject namaste and blessed be when people say it to me so whats the big deal ?

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