"Bless Your Heart"

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  1. "Have a Blessed Day" -- Sincere or Sarcastic?

    • 101
      Sincere
    • 40
      Sarcastic
    • 66
      Sincere but kinda condescending
    • 46
      Should only be used among people of the same religious persuasion
    • 118
      You're making a mountain out of a molehill

371 members have participated

That's a phrase that I'm sure is meant well (most of the time), but for some reason it just grates on my nerves. Most of the time, it strikes me as condescending. It's like the quintessential Southernism Bless your heart,” which I'm coming to learn means nothing of the sort. (According to my late sister-in-law, bless your heart” means You're behaving like a Yankee — synonymous with ‘Troll' — and you have no idea that we're all laughing at you behind your back.” This is the same sister-in-law who referred to me, until her dying day as That dam Yankee my brother brought home.”

Somehow, Have a Blessed Day” just strikes me in the same way — as sarcastic, condescending and insincere. Every time I see a post ending that way, it makes me reassess the content and is sure to get my dander up. I know I'm not the only one who sees it that way. So I'm wondering, how do the majority of AN members see/use the expression?

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I heard it used in Oklahoma, but it was geniune. Often "bless your heart" was used to express being sorry for an unfortunate situation. I found nor took any offense, being a transplanted northerner.

And if someone were being sarcastic, I would choose to ignore it and "why thank you". Simple.

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I would like to point out that black people can use "Have a blessed day" and use it it be condescending.

I'm black myself and I have seen it used not to be friendly. :cool:

I've never heard/seen "have a blessed day" used in a condescending manner. I am black and I constantly hear it, see it in my FB feed, etc. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I never get the sarcasm/condescension vibe. I have, however, heard "I'll pray for you/him/her" used like that A LOT.

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Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

I live in SC and tons of people say "Have a blessed day" on their voicemail. I think that is sincere because many are religious.

The bless your heart meaning depends on the context of the conversation. It's not a phrase I use but I've heard it countless times.

Being shown a picture of an ugly baby

Reply: Look at that little baby, "bless his heart"

Your story about something that happened.

Reply: Oh my, "bless your heart", you just keep having trouble.

Me showing you how to hang that secondary line the 5th time this week

Reply: Bless your heart, Mary..let me show you how to do that again

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I've never heard/seen "have a blessed day" used in a condescending manner. I am black and I constantly hear it, see it in my FB feed, etc. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I never get the sarcasm/condescension vibe. I have, however, heard "I'll pray for you/him/her" used like that A LOT.

Im also not saying, though, that people who say have a blessed day are always being sincere. Sometimes I think it's simply out of habit and not particularly to be godly.

But it I have to say that I hate when people say or write "have a bless day." It's not 'bless' it's 'blessed', an adjective!! That goes right through me!!

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

It really depends on inflection and tone what is meant by "Bless your/his/her heart."

I am a transplanted Yankee, here in the South for 38 years now. I know people who are utterly sincere when they say it, and I know people whose subtext is more or less "Well, big whup; yeah, that's just a terrible problem. If that's all you have to worry about, you don't know REAL problems..."

I usually say it when I've heard about something horrible and am at a loss at what to say.

"Have a blessed day" has always sounded contrived to me; it is said by so many so often that it has no meaning anymore. It's kind of like "Aren't I NICE for wishing blessings upon you?" I don't see it as having to do with religion other than it's a way of proclaiming indirectly that person's affiliation with a church.

"Oh, my word..." is another one of those phrases that, depending on the tone, inflection, and the speaker.....can say a LOT, and much of it not very nice!

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LDRP.

I was born, raised, and still live in the deep south. I actually have had a different experience with "Have a blessed day" than many here. It is usually used sincerely where I live. I don't personally use it, but am not offended by it when sincerely used toward me .

"Bless your heart" or "She's precious" on the other hand, are usually used with a condescending tone or intention. I do know people that use "Bless your heart" very sincerely, but that's rare here.

The latter grates on my nerves a bit but I don't let any of it really get to me. It's mostly just cultural, no big thing.

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Specializes in critical care.
Often "bless your heart" was used to express being sorry for an unfortunate situation.

That's the way I've always taken it and meant it. It's sort of, "you tried hard, meant well, and that outcome really sucked", in a light-hearted way. It's usually during conversations where someone is telling a story that has some humorous, unfortunate ending when I'll use it.

"I loved that girl all of middle school and when I finally got the courage to ask her out, I threw up."

"Oh, bless your heart!"

Surely this is a regional thing??? I am in a conservative Christian area of the mid-Atlantic.

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Specializes in critical care.

Oh! And have a blessed day here is meant sincerely. The irony is not lost on me, though, that my phone changed "blessed" to "lesser" just now.

I've seen "I'll pray for you" go both ways. When someone who knows I'm an atheist says it, it's clearly meant rudely. Oftentimes, though, they don't. (I'm a closeted atheist lol)

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Specializes in ICU/PACU.

I disagree. Bless your heart can also mean "you poor thing". I hear it from people if they hear bad news from someone, say a family member says they're sick, you would say bless your heart. It can be kind.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

Probably not relevant, but one of our surgeons' long-time "assistant" who calls herself a nurse and who is the single most condescending, mean person I have come across, uses the "Have a BLESS-ED day" in her voicemail greeting. Completely unbelievable, given her truly nasty nature.

And BTW, she's as white as white can be.

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I live in SC and tons of people say "Have a blessed day" on their voicemail. I think that is sincere because many are religious.

The bless your heart meaning depends on the context of the conversation. It's not a phrase I use but I've heard it countless times.

Being shown a picture of an ugly baby

Reply: Look at that little baby, "bless his heart"

Your story about something that happened.

Reply: Oh my, "bless your heart", you just keep having trouble.

Me showing you how to hang that secondary line the 5th time this week

Reply: Bless your heart, Mary..let me show you how to do that again

This post nails for me what I (a native New Englander) was having a hard time putting into coherent words. Bless your heart, Lil'mama! Thank you!

Oh, and the best thing to say when presented an ugly baby is something I learned from an old friend, gay, minister, who was always having babies thrust upon him. He would smile beatifically and say heartily, "Now, that's a BABY!"

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As someone raised in areas that use it "Bless your heart" is a supposedly polite way to say "You're about as dumb as they come." This also has a companion saying which is "Well isn't that special" which roughly translate to "You just did something stupid enough to get someone to say bless your heart." Have a blessed day though was always just a way to say you liked someone enough to hope they had a good day.

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