I had to take a personal/family ill day Friday. My grandfather had Mitral and CABG open heart. A student was throwing cheetos in the air and catching them in his mouth at lunch in the cafeteria. He lodged one and lost color. I was told the security and lunch aides kept calling for the nurse on the radio. Most everyone knew I was gone. Everyone ran to his assistance. The security guard dislodged the cheeto. The student never lost consciousness, thank God, and thank the staff efforts. I returned to school today. Many have come by my office to tell me what happened "when you were gone". My secretary came in to ask for a donation for the Hero Luncheon today. They are having a potluck to honor the security guard. He came to my office a few minutes ago, laughing, and states "did you hear what I did? We don't even need you anymore, you could just go home". (!!!!!) I gruffed back, "OK, sit down right here, I'll leave." Now-- I am so shocked by my reaction to this whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't live with the alternative outcome of this situation. We as school nurses, do so many things that prevent catastrophe. It is expected: it's why I'm a nurse: it's what we do: it's why we are here. I guess some of the feelings I'm having is because I don't even get a card on Nurse's day. No thank you, no good job. I go unnoticed until a someone needs me, or a parent calls. I was worried about not being here in the first place. In my building we have a SW a couple days a week. When she isn't here the jobs falls on me. Many days I don't even get out of my office. Have any of you ever felt like this? I have contradicting reactions and I can't put my finger on it. Thank you!!