Hi everyone! Quick rant (that has most likely been vented about before). Had a post-op patient on the floor the other day. She rang her call bell and asked for some water, to which I went and got some. I entered the room with a smile and handed her her water, and her husband said: "Ahhhh, here's your lovely waitress." I didn't acknowledge his comment, simply lifted the corners of my lips to try to hide the unamused shock that I am sure was on my face.
He must have realized what he said, because he apologized about twenty seconds later saying "I am so sorry. I don't know why I just downplayed your profession, I am just nervous." I said "that's okay" and left the room...I feel bad because I understand the anxiety of family members after their loved one has had surgery. But after running around on my feet for ten hours, I just couldn't find the energy to even respond to him.
I keep replaying this one minute experience in my head, and I can't tell if I feel guilty for not validating his apology more, or if I am annoyed with his perception of a nurse.
Huh tough day cookie?It could have been worse,like a demanding woman I once had ,I gave her a full water pitcher with ice ,like she asked,then I got yelled at by our crazy Head nurse(yes that is what they were called back then ) about not taking care of the patient because she complained she wanted two water pitchers and I had only given her one !!!
Years ago, I'd think, "If they only knew how hard I worked to get here!!"...now, I say, "Here you go!! Water on the rocks!! Call me if you need anything" and I leave the room after doing a quick scanned assessment of said patient status (respirations, skin temp, eye contact/facial movements symmetrical, tele monitor working, rhythm if box shows rhythm, changes that may be minor yet important), family, room, urine bottle needs emptying if male, blanket replacement, smells, name it and document my water delivery and quick patient/room assessment. You'll be surprised at how much you just got done in that quick 20-30 seconds!
Specializes in Flight, ER, Transport, ICU/Critical Care.
I had an ER patient tell a visitor that "I could use more pain meds when my waitress gets back ..."
Well, I made it back to their CURTAINED bedside to reassess very shortly thereafter, (patient had a kidney stone, I think - a repeat narc order existed anyway) and I had a dose of DILAUDID & new bag fluids in hand.
I just smiled and said (after reassessment) I have your chef's special menu for the evening. Checked ID, allergies and hung another bag IV fluids & gave pain meds.
I then asked the visitor if they would like like any refreshments - tho we have very limited menu choices. They asked for what the patient was getting. I told them that was only available to guests with special seating and was not guaranteed as chef was quite moody and the kitchen very busy, but would be happy to get a complimentary coffee or ginger ale, as they were always available. I also offered the visitor a choice of crackers - graham or saltine as a main course. Because I'm a great waitress.
And I smiled. Big smile.
I swear you have to smile when you say certain things.
I had an extremely demanding and obnoxious patient (I drew the short straw that night!) who demanded that I bring him some coffee when I went in to assess him at the beginning of the shift. I had 8 patients (on a PCU) and no tech. I told him we had no coffee on the unit at that time. He told me to go make some. I explained to him that I needed to see all of my patients first and that it might be a while before I had time to make coffee. He told me that I was a "damn sorry nurse". I smiled at him and said that his comment just lengthened his wait time for coffee!
People are prone say things out of nerves, and then think, "What the hell did I just say that for? OMG ... just kill me now". I've done it, and sincerely wished I'd just kept my mouth shut plenty of times -- of course by then it's too late and the deed is done.
It's sort of like uttering a nervous giggle when the topic is anything but funny. Human nature at it's most unstable, vulnerable moments can be conducive to us making fools of ourselves.
The good news is sometimes we may never have to see some of those people who witnessed it ever again (we can also hope some of those people may take pity on us, and in hindsight deem that we didn't mean to be insulting after all, merely just struck temporarily stupid with simultaneous diarrhea of the mouth).
I think you chose not to engage in battle with this man in crisis, which was truly the only dignified, honorable response possible. After 10 hours of running everywhere except to a potty break, you are completely forgiven for not engaging in a witty exchange.
The family member already realized their misspeak and apologized.. profusely.
No reason to replay THAT incident. There are families and patients that WILL view us as waitresses. Save your annoyance for them.
I had a repeat patient that said " didn't you wait on me last time I was here?" Don't remember if he was confused or not. I just let him know... I don't wait on you sir... I am here to provide nursing care.
It may be a personality thing, but it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. It matters less to me what some person thinks of me than what I know is true. If someone referred to me as a waitress, I would just take it as a misinformed comment. I would look more at their overall interaction... do they seem to be awkward in communicating, are they nervous, just looking for small talk, thinking they are making a joke, or maybe they really are somewhat of a jerk... all of those roll off my back. It isn't my job to correct people unless their attitude/language interferes with my care giving.
The fact of the matter is, a small part of our job is to "wait on people" if that's what you call bringing some ice water, a cup of coffee or whatever. It does not offend me if someone sees me that way as a small part of what I do. It's an honor to provide comfort to people in need of my care.
Some parts of our job do not seem to an observer to require professional expertise, they may never understand. If someone really does have a misconception of what nurses are, it's possible they may not have seen nurses at work in an acute care setting (or anywhere). Some people rarely step inside of a hospital. But hopefully after I care for them or their family member, they do have a more informed view of what nursing care is all about.
(all that said, some people do take advantage of that small part of nursing care, and want to be waited on hand and foot. It isn't appropriate or helpful to comply with every demand... that's another topic...)
AnnieNP, MSN, NP
540 Posts
You could always reply with "Have you met our Chef, Dr. Smith?"!!!