Not feeling anything at the sight of death

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So, I work on the med/surg floor at a hospital but when i went in to work on Friday they sent me to the ICU b/c the day CNA was on vacation. As soon as I got there, a nurse told me she needed me to help here with post mortem care. I was dreading having to do this b/c this is the one thing I wanted to avoid as long as i could. So when I finally did go in there I did not react as I thought I would. I thought I would be overwhelmed with emotion, but to my surprise i was not. In fact, i felt numb and emotion-LESS. I didn't know how to think about it. I mostly felt sad for the family afterwards though. But now I've been wondering what type of person i must be to not feel anything. Am I that cold?

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For me seeing the family upset is harder than seeing the patient pass. I've done it many times and I feel for the families during their loss.

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I agree with mommaTy. Also you have to remember that you did not know this person on any kind of emotional level. You did not even care for them at all. You might find you reaction can be different with each time it happens depending on cercumstances and who it is.

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I agree with mommaTy. Also you have to remember that you did not know this person on any kind of emotional level. You did not even care for them at all. You might find you reaction can be different with each time it happens depending on cercumstances and who it is.

I agree. When I have helped with post mortem cares on a patient that I had no previous contact with, I was usually indifferent to the situation. But, if it was my own patient or someone that I had helped with previously while they were alive, then I felt differently. The worst part is when family of the deceased are present, in that situation it is very hard for me to hold back the tears.

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Specializes in Emergency Department.

It is okay to feel essentially nothing for your patient when you do not know the patient at all. I have been present at probably >12 or so codes that ended up with us being unable to revive the patient. Most of those I felt nothing at all other than perhaps knowing that I did what I could for the patient. And in those instances, it's okay to feel essentially nothing for you do not have any significant emotional attachment to the patient.

Just because you feel that way does not mean that you are truly a cold person. In my case, I come to the understanding that death is a very real part of life and that there is only so much that we can do to influence whether or not a patient lives or not. When a patient is not doing well, the best we can do is provide that patient a nudge towards life. Sometimes that nudge can be a pretty good shove. Despite that, the patient's problem maybe too severe that their downward spiral may be unrecoverable. In other words, that means that no matter what we do, that patient is not going to survive. So in those cases we have to simply understand that we have done our best and ultimately we lost.

Of course, ultimately, this is a battle that we all will eventually lose. After all, the #1 cause of death is having been alive... ;)

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I have been present at the moment of death and provided post mortem care for patients I have cared for. I find I don't react emotionally other than being grateful that their suffering is over.

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Simply seeing a dead body you dont know probably isnt going to bother most people unless there is some sort of major disfigurement or it was a fairly young person, and even then it might not bother you. It doesnt really mean your cold.

When you take care of the person and get to know them it can be more difficult, but even then in my experience it depends to some degree on their age and quality of life, and the circumstances of their death.

Some deaths can be disturbing or emotionally draining though. I think if you work in a job where you are around dying people long enough eventually you're going to encounter situations like this. I took care of a patient in their early 20s who was dying and I dreaded going into work, and I ended up taking care of this patient at the very end. That was one that bothered me for a long time afterward. In most cases I just feel a little sad, or relieved if the person had been suffering for a long time.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

There is nothing wrong with you.. You did not "know or care" for this person nor did you see the family's reaction to the death. Feeling joy, sadness or any other emotion is different for everyone depending on the connection.. Often times my feelings are neutral to the setting until I see the families reaction.

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Similar thing happened to me and I had just started that weekend. I didn't feel much either since like others said I didn't know them. However when I saw her husband of 50+ years sad... That got to me.

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I remember discussing death rates for different diseases, and one stat that came up was that 50% of Americans will experience cancer at some point in their lives and 25% will die from it.

It was then pointed out that 100% of people will experience cardiac arrest at some point in their lives, and 100% will die from it.

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Specializes in Short Term/Skilled.

Seeing a dead body isnt the same as being with someone you have cared for when they die. When this happens the enotions will come. Its not abnormal to not be devastated when a patient youve never met dies.

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Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

I work in the ER, so we get our fair share of codes. I just don't connect emotionally with a life-less body that I don't know and have never seen without someone doing compressions on them.

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