Not feeling anything at the sight of death

[Purple93]

So, I work on the med/surg floor at a hospital but when i went in to work on Friday they sent me to the ICU b/c the day CNA was on vacation. As soon as I got there, a nurse told me she needed me to help here with post mortem care. I was dreading having to do this b/c this is the one thing I wanted to avoid as long as i could. So when I finally did go in there I did not react as I thought I would. I thought I would be overwhelmed with emotion, but to my surprise i was not. In fact, i felt numb and emotion-LESS. I didn't know how to think about it. I mostly felt sad for the family afterwards though. But now I've been wondering what type of person i must be to not feel anything. Am I that cold?

[Karenlee]

I agree. When I have helped with post mortem cares on a patient that I had no previous contact with, I was usually indifferent to the situation. But, if it was my own patient or someone that I had helped with previously while they were alive, then I felt differently. The worst part is when family of the deceased are present, in that situation it is very hard for me to hold back the tears.

Are we supposed to hold back the tears? I would think the family would appreciate knowing how much you cared for their loved one. I'm new to this so I don't know this answer....

[WideOpenHeart]

Your reaction was totally normal. Even your concern about it (considering you're new to all this) only confirms that you are a caring person.

In a hospital situation, to someone who did not know the patient, seeing a dead body is not heartbreaking, emotionally-overwhelming or frightening, and you are an emotionally stable person who will make a good CNA/nurse.

Death is a natural part of life, and your spirit knows that.

We cannot grieve for everyone who dies. We would never have a moment to live if we did.

:) No worries.

[julz68]

Are we supposed to hold back the tears? I would think the family would appreciate knowing how much you cared for their loved one. I'm new to this so I don't know this answer....

I've never been told we couldn't cry, and there have been a few times that I did. I've also hugged family members and cried with them.

I'm just a very emotional and tender hearted person by nature, so it is very hard for me to hold back the tears sometimes.

[Career2_BSN, BSN]

Julz68 - I'm a crier, too. I actually searched the topic thoroughly before following my path into this field to ensure I wasn't alone on that. Oddly enough, the comment I saw most frequently was "When you stop crying, it's time to stop nursing." The point was...when you stop caring, it's time to stop nursing.

But in this this case, I agree, if you have no emotional connection with the patient, then your heart won't break for them although, it may break when the family's hearts break.

[Glycerine82, LPN]

Are we supposed to hold back the tears? I would think the family would appreciate knowing how much you cared for their loved one. I'm new to this so I don't know this answer....

Every situation is different. If you were particularly close to the patient it can be appropriate to cry, especially if you know the family well. If you don't know the family well or you didn't know the patient well, in my experience its best to leave the room whenever possible and cry in private.

Its not wrong to be emotional, it is expected. For me, I've always done what I felt was appropriate. I've cried with families and I've stepped out and cried in private. I've also been alone and sobbed the entire way through post motrem care.