(Not so) Daily Affirmations

[Bortaz]

In the crappy world of nursing, it's very easy to let people steal your joy and convince you that you're a horrible nurse. I know...I'm there, actively looking outside of the NICU for work, since I can't stay on my unit any longer and no other local NICUs are hiring.

Then, out of the blue it happens. Someone tells you that the parents of a NICU grad is trying to find you, to reconnect so that you can see their now healthy baby, so they can thank you for your competent and compassionate care of their baby a few years ago.

They want to tell you what a difference you made in their lives. How they credit you with them having their baby today. How they've never forgotten your gentle care and kindness/understanding. How you're their hero. They want pictures of you snuggling their sweet, healthy baby.

Thank you, kind lady, for making my day. And for the small but greatly needed affirmation that the work I have done WAS appreciated, WAS competent, and WAS worthwhile. It'll help me leave this field, God willing, with some of my joy intact.

[HyperSaurus, RN, BSN]

Congratulations, Bortaz. I've been keeping up with your posts--the environment you've been describing sounds truly awful. It's a shame it's forcing you to move away from NICU, but here's hoping that this change will work out for your benefit.

[HvnSntRN]

I left my NICU job a few months ago too. There were bullies and while the manager paid lip service to the policies intended to reign in the bullies, ultimately I realized that my health and mental well being were more important.

I miss the direct patient and family contact but I don't miss the longer hours, the night shifts, the mean spirited people and the lack of support from management. I also don't miss the migraines, hot flashes, and stress related sequelae that had me at their mercy on a daily basis. I'm so much happier - I can't believe that I put up with that level of mental torture for 3 years.

[24gaDalek]

I left my NICU job a few months ago too. There were bullies and while the manager paid lip service to the policies intended to reign in the bullies, ultimately I realized that my health and mental well being were more important.

Sounds like my NICU.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Sounds like my NICU.

Then I don't know how you stand it. I love the babies, and will miss it terribly, but life is just too short to spend 12-14 hours a day in this type of environment.

I'm ashamed to say I bit my tongue and played nice during my "we'll miss you!!" lunch they threw for me yesterday. I hate acting, but I guess it's the only adult thing to do...even when you just want to tell them to get stuffed. Too easy to place my resentment on all of them, though...when some of them may have been genuine.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Sometimes there is a reason and a season...best wishes-you nursing path may have to take a detour...but you know what? It may set you back on that path to those babies, and on a better position...the best laid plans... (((HUGS)))

[HappyWife77, BSN, RN]

Best Wishes to you Bortaz!! ?

[24gaDalek]

Then I don't know how you stand it. I love the babies, and will miss it terribly, but life is just too short to spend 12-14 hours a day in this type of environment.

I don't want to say too much because of paranoia, but at this point I am done. Reading this thread makes me believe that it isn't just the place where I work that is ugly and wrong, which saddens me greatly. I applaud your courage in making the decision to make a change for the better, because you are right that life is too short. Unfortunately, the good people leave while the bad people seem to linger for years and years.

Good luck to you

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Good luck to you as well, Cate.

[Fancypants09]

I am a 3rd yr nursing student and am considering NICU for my consolidation. It sounds like, from everyone's experiences, NICU can breed a toxic work environment, can someone shed some more light on this? I am a sensitive person and the work environment determines to a large extent how I feel about my work on that unit (I am speaking here about my clinical experiences).

Surely not all NICU's are so bad?!

Best of luck to you, Bortaz!

[thenightnurse456]

Ok keep in mind this is a HUGE generalisation:

NICU's are often staffed with a few female nurses who have been working in the unit for 20-30+ years. They are extremely territorial and eat their young like no other unit!

This isn't everywhere of course! But it is a common scenario.

If you want NICU don't let this scare you off! There are difficult personalities in every job. I'm sure there are some fantastic NICUs staffed with great teams!

[rnkaytee]

The way I see it is that these patients can't speak for themselves so the nurses, who are at the bedside and usually know the baby best (besides parents) are the ones to advocate for them. That leads to getting pretty tough skin and learning how to be assertive quickly. We also have to learn how to move quickly in emergency situations and not let egos get in the way.

[HvnSntRN]

Then I don't know how you stand it. I love the babies, and will miss it terribly, but life is just too short to spend 12-14 hours a day in this type of environment.

I'm ashamed to say I bit my tongue and played nice during my "we'll miss you!!" lunch they threw for me yesterday. I hate acting, but I guess it's the only adult thing to do...even when you just want to tell them to get stuffed. Too easy to place my resentment on all of them, though...when some of them may have been genuine.

When I was asked about a farewell lunch in my "honour" I politely declined. I don't do well when I'm the centre of attention at the best of times, but mainly I didn't want to reward the bullies with an opportunity to pat themselves on the back for giving me a nice-ish send-off.