(Not so) Daily Affirmations

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

In the crappy world of nursing, it's very easy to let people steal your joy and convince you that you're a horrible nurse. I know...I'm there, actively looking outside of the NICU for work, since I can't stay on my unit any longer and no other local NICUs are hiring.

Then, out of the blue it happens. Someone tells you that the parents of a NICU grad is trying to find you, to reconnect so that you can see their now healthy baby, so they can thank you for your competent and compassionate care of their baby a few years ago.

They want to tell you what a difference you made in their lives. How they credit you with them having their baby today. How they've never forgotten your gentle care and kindness/understanding. How you're their hero. They want pictures of you snuggling their sweet, healthy baby.

Thank you, kind lady, for making my day. And for the small but greatly needed affirmation that the work I have done WAS appreciated, WAS competent, and WAS worthwhile. It'll help me leave this field, God willing, with some of my joy intact.

[BananaPancake]

Congrats!!!! It is truly the little things that we need to hear, to make us know its worth it. Thank you for sharing, I am inspired by your affirmation :)

[LegalQuiltMom]

Bortaz, are you seriously thinking about leaving the NICU? I don't post often, but I like to quietly lurk on this page and watch for your posts. I am a new grad nurse (in my second career) who just started in the NICU and I am always trying to learn on this site. I have learned a lot from your posts and will miss seeing them if you go elsewhere. You will be missed.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Bortaz, are you seriously thinking about leaving the NICU? I don't post often, but I like to quietly lurk on this page and watch for your posts. I am a new grad nurse (in my second career) who just started in the NICU and I am always trying to learn on this site. I have learned a lot from your posts and will miss seeing them if you go elsewhere. You will be missed.

Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, I don't have much choice to stay, as the situation on my unit is forcing me out. Anyone who has ever worked in a toxic nursing environment knows what I mean when I say that it's sometimes better to leave a workplace (despite your passion for the career) than to stay and let horrible people suck your passion and joy away. My management is allowing 2 people to destroy our unit, and it saddens me to see it. I've been the target of most of it for over 2 years. It's stifled my growth as a moderately new nurse, and is stunting my career.

I sought out the advice of several long-time nurses here on AN (as well as my wife, a nurse of 30 years), and they all helped with my decision to move on, at least until I'm able to move to another area to get back into NICU. NICU is still my passion, and is still the only nursing job I want to do. I pray I can get back into a good NICU situation, but it's just not possible right now. My NICU is the only one hiring (and only one with census in double digits) in this town.

I'm angry about letting them chase me from my babies, but I have to protect my career right now. And I refuse to live with a black cloud of stress hanging over me, infecting my family life.

I received a job offer today, for a non-clinical job (documentation specialist) from an interview last week at a competing hospital. It's a large salary increase, miles closer to home, and a fresh start. I can't imagine saying no.

ETA: When I leave, I'll be, I think, the 17th nurse to leave this unit in under 2 years.

[babyNP., APRN]

Bortaz that makes me so sad. I am so sorry. I hope you are able to get another NICU job soon.

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Man, Bortaz. That sucks. I know exactly what you mean, though, because it's happened to me too. I hope you find peace and get back to NICU sooner rather than later. Hugs, my friend.

[thenightnurse456]

Some of the meanest nurses work in NICU.. (In my opinion/experience). It's strange considering the job involves caring for babies and their families, you'd think they'd be all sunshine and hugs.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Accepted a job offer today, and gave notice at the NICU. Less than 6 work days remain.

Wow. Bittersweet.

A lot more money, though.

[TiffyRN, BSN, PhD]

Bortaz, I'm so sorry.

And I totally understand. I think of all the great nurses I have seen leave my unit in the last few years. Thankfully, a couple of years ago, we got a great new manager who started a slow and deliberate plan to rid the unit of the toxic forces that had lodged themselves in. It did take time, probably about a year and a half to see any true results. All of a sudden, within about 6 months, there was a fresh onslaught of resignations . . . from the toxic bunch this time.

Oh, they railed about how the unit was going to be devastated by their departure. How all the babies were going to die of sepsis or IVH as our manager was running off all the "good" nurses.

We're just fine. We're better than fine in fact. We were able to build a really great nursing team once we cut out the poison.

Sorry your unit is still tolerating this mess, Bortaz. It is very very complex to dissect out and I give huge props to my current manager for sticking with it and figuring out a way. Two previous managers had been run off by this foul group.

Stick around and keep sharing with us. I'm sure your new field would have valuable information to share.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Thanks, Tiffy.

[thenightnurse456]

Accepted a job offer today, and gave notice at the NICU. Less than 6 work days remain.

Wow. Bittersweet.

A lot more money, though.

So no more NICU?

What specialty are you entering?

Sad times.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

I accepted a job away from bedside. Clinical Documentation Specialist.