No support from my dad (vent)

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Well, I finished my second to last semester today with a big relaxing sigh, and I should be happy but I'm not. I am so frustrated with some of the things my father says to me on the phone. I called to let my parents know that I finished my semester today. He asked how I did and I said I think I did alright, but it was pretty difficult. I only needed a 62% on the final to still make a B in the class (which I am happy about). And all he has to say to me is "Well, just remember that when you think you have done all you can, there is always room for improvement...and just remember people interviewing you will ask for your GPA." I mean God, can't I get the least little bit of support!!???:angryfire I don't get any financial support from him. I work 36 hours a week in an ICU, plus clinical days, plus lecture days, and god forbid I have time to get groceries and run errands. What do they expect from me?? Am I the only one out there with this problem and what can I do to get it through his head to cut me a little slack.:crying2:

Specializes in Med-Surg.

LOL, he has no idea just how well you did does he? Being able to pass nursing school while working full time is an incredible feat, taking a B??? VERY GOOD! But, you know... dads. My husband and I made the decision that I would work part-time while attending school so that I was home more with our daughter (hubby works rotating shift work and there is no family in our town) and my dad made a comment to me one day about how I liked the easy life or didn't like to work very hard (since I wasn't full time)... Another time when I was talking about how overwhelming my first term of nursing school was compared to regular college my mom was like, "what's so hard about being a nurse? you just do what the doctor tells you..." They just don't get it. I can see from your profile that you're in your early 20s... you're still their baby and they're still doing their best to impart wisdom to you. Of course they're not going to stop doing that, but trust me, as you get older you'll be bugged by it less and less! My dad's been gone 3 years now and I really miss complaining to my husband about how he just doesn't understand me!

Congratulations to you, you are doing really, really well!

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

LOL, he has no idea just how well you did does he? Being able to pass nursing school while working full time is an incredible feat, taking a B??? VERY GOOD! But, you know... dads. My husband and I made the decision that I would work part-time while attending school so that I was home more with our daughter (hubby works rotating shift work and there is no family in our town) and my dad made a comment to me one day about how I liked the easy life or didn't like to work very hard (since I wasn't full time)... Another time when I was talking about how overwhelming my first term of nursing school was compared to regular college my mom was like, "what's so hard about being a nurse? you just do what the doctor tells you..." They just don't get it. I can see from your profile that you're in your early 20s... you're still their baby and they're still doing their best to impart wisdom to you. Of course they're not going to stop doing that, but trust me, as you get older you'll be bugged by it less and less! My dad's been gone 3 years now and I really miss complaining to my husband about how he just doesn't understand me!

Congratulations to you, you are doing really, really well!

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Specializes in L & D.

Big hugs to you...... and tons of understanding!!

I'm returing to school to become an RN after getting by BS in engineering 15 years ago. I've always regretted not going into medicine, and finally decided to follow my dream. Neither of my parents had anything kind or supportive to say when I joyfully announced my decision. Luckily, I have a great husband, two sweet little girls, two aunts, great in-laws and tons of friends who are very proud of me. In summary - find your emotional support wherever you can, and remember that people's cruel comments say more about themselves that they do about you!!

Enjoy your vacation from school!!

Beth

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Specializes in L & D.

Big hugs to you...... and tons of understanding!!

I'm returing to school to become an RN after getting by BS in engineering 15 years ago. I've always regretted not going into medicine, and finally decided to follow my dream. Neither of my parents had anything kind or supportive to say when I joyfully announced my decision. Luckily, I have a great husband, two sweet little girls, two aunts, great in-laws and tons of friends who are very proud of me. In summary - find your emotional support wherever you can, and remember that people's cruel comments say more about themselves that they do about you!!

Enjoy your vacation from school!!

Beth

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Specializes in NICU.
people's cruel comments say more about themselves that they do about you!!
Amen to that!!
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Specializes in NICU.
people's cruel comments say more about themselves that they do about you!!
Amen to that!!
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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

People spend their entire lives trying to please an overly critical parent. The parent means well, but it ends up just causing a lot of grief. You could try being honest and asking for a little more support, but he'll probably think that would encourage mediocrity.

I grew up with a German mom and an Army officer dad. Nothing was good enough. I finally had to live my life, find strength within and get my props where I could.

Good luck!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

People spend their entire lives trying to please an overly critical parent. The parent means well, but it ends up just causing a lot of grief. You could try being honest and asking for a little more support, but he'll probably think that would encourage mediocrity.

I grew up with a German mom and an Army officer dad. Nothing was good enough. I finally had to live my life, find strength within and get my props where I could.

Good luck!

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I am sorry that you are not getting as much support from your father as you would like. As you have seen from the previous posts, many of us have been in similar situations.

My suggestion is that you stop giving him a detailed report of your grades, etc. If he's not paying for it and not emotionally supportive, then don't keep beating your head against the wall about it. I notice in your original post that you called him and gave him a report. Stop doing that. Stop "reporting" to him.

Call him once a week (or whatever seems like a reasonable interval for you) and have "social chit-chat" with him. Say more general comments about school ... that the semester is over ... that you are beginning new classes ... etc. Be friendly, loving, positive ... don't pick a fight or anything ... but be an independent adult and stop reporting the details to daddy. If he's not going to provide the support you want, stop seeking it and hurting yourself.

Good luck. I've been there, too. I loved my father and we had a terrific relationship. But he only accepted A's. Anything less meant that I had been goofing off. For me, it was a big part of growing up to separate myself from the pain that caused -- while still maintaining my great relationship with him.

llg

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I am sorry that you are not getting as much support from your father as you would like. As you have seen from the previous posts, many of us have been in similar situations.

My suggestion is that you stop giving him a detailed report of your grades, etc. If he's not paying for it and not emotionally supportive, then don't keep beating your head against the wall about it. I notice in your original post that you called him and gave him a report. Stop doing that. Stop "reporting" to him.

Call him once a week (or whatever seems like a reasonable interval for you) and have "social chit-chat" with him. Say more general comments about school ... that the semester is over ... that you are beginning new classes ... etc. Be friendly, loving, positive ... don't pick a fight or anything ... but be an independent adult and stop reporting the details to daddy. If he's not going to provide the support you want, stop seeking it and hurting yourself.

Good luck. I've been there, too. I loved my father and we had a terrific relationship. But he only accepted A's. Anything less meant that I had been goofing off. For me, it was a big part of growing up to separate myself from the pain that caused -- while still maintaining my great relationship with him.

llg

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

Don't let it get to ya.........good work/keep moving forward....I have been a nurse since 86 and not one person asked for my grades/big smile.

renerian

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

Don't let it get to ya.........good work/keep moving forward....I have been a nurse since 86 and not one person asked for my grades/big smile.

renerian

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