My baby was a 24 weeker...

[foxy star]

I gave birth to twin girls at age 18 on May 29th, 2003. They were only 24-25 weeks. One weighed 1lbs 5 oz. and the other weighed 1lbs 4 oz. The youngest was doing the best because she didn't have any problems besides breathing, but she died two days later of a severe bleed in the brain. And that left Z. She had problems like any other preemie. While she was in the hospital we had problems with her duct not closing, a couple of times she had a blood infection, her lungs collapsed, she was diagnosed with stage 3 ROP, and I'm sure there were a lot of other things.

It hurts when I hear people talk as though a micropreemie's life isn't worth saving. I've heard people say that they're going to most likely have long term problems or that they're going to die anyway, so it's a waste of money to try and save them. The articles that I read with comments such as those made me feel so worthless and I felt as though it was my fault that the nurses had to work so hard to save my baby's life. And it was my fault...since I was the one who had gotten pregnant in the first place, but it wasn't my baby's fault.

I visited Z everyday. I watched the nurses stick iv's in her, draw her blood, change her diaper, scan her, weigh her diaper, and give her blood and so on. When we finally got the guts, her dad and me would bathe her, change her diapers, hold her, and when she finally could drink out of a bottle, feed her.

I believe in the power of God and I would always pray to him to help her get better and progress. It worked a GREAT deal. When the doctors told me that she had Stage 3 ROP I prayed even harder. After that I felt a sense of comfort and I thought to myself, "What if God wiped out her ROP completely?" And he did.

Z finally got to come home on September 11th, 2003. And near the end of October, she was off oxygen. When she first came home, I made sure I always read to her, talked to her as if I were talking to one of my friends, and had Mozart playing softly in the background while I was feeding her and while she was sleeping. She had a lot of doctors visits and they all said she was making progress. Her stage 3 ROP went down stages until it was no more. I never really thought that was possible. She might have to wear glasses as she gets older, but so what? A majority of America's population does. A funny story is how I would put these little elastic bands on her hair made for kids. These bands are smaller than a baby's ring. One time I had sat a very tiny elastic band down to comb her hair first, and she saw it and reached for it.

To make a long story short, Zaynah is now 6 1/2 months adjusted and she's doing EVERYTHING that she's supposed to do. Her therapist said it's rare that she can do all this being born so early and she's going to do just fine. She's laughing and cooing, she tries to yell at me (lol), making silly noises (seeing what she can do with her voice), she can roll from her stomach to her back and from her back to her stomach whenever she pleases, she scoots around and gets into everything, she's holding her own bottle, she grabs things, she's very alert and even though they say babies can't see very far, she can see someone all the way on the other side of the room. Things that she's supposed to do at her age. And it's all because of God. I also want to say thanks the nurses at Kosair Children's Hospital that treated my baby like their own.

And you don't know how much it means to a caring parent to see that nurses care. This one nurse in particular would do little things like putting little hand made dresses on her when she was only like 2lbs, and putting little bows in her hair to cheer me up. I hope this story is an inspiration to you because I know you may sometimes feel like it's hopeless or you're not doing a big of a difference. I wasn't asked whether or not I wanted my babies to be kept alive when they were born. And Z gives me a reason to believe that it was a good thing. What if we had given up? Z wouldn't be here.

{Edit} Sorry, the links of the pictures were broken. I finally fixed them.

Here's some pictures:

[LesJenRN]

Thank you so much for sharing. I wish you,your husband, and your little miracle all of the happiness and love this world has to offer. God has blessed you....

Les

[lady_jezebel]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am pregnant right now, and can't even conceive of losing a child. I worry about miscarriage, complications and the health of my baby on a daily basis. Sometimes I can't sleep because of the worry. I feel nothing but admiration and compassion for you in all that you have been through, and pure joy when I hear about how well your daughter is doing!

I'm also certain that the nurses you met also felt nothing but compassion and worry for you and your babies. Thank you for sharing the details about the one nurse who dressed your girl in homemade dresses and hairbows. How heartwarming.

I wish you and your daughter the best. I can tell you are an excellent mother!

:)

[gypsyatheart]

What a nice story, and I am sorry about your youngest daughter! I am an NICU nurse and believe me, I never feel as if it isn't "worth it" to save a premie's life! That's why I work where I do, and I love it. I think sometimes, we nurses just see so much of the sufferring the babies go through and, in some cases, we know the outcome is going to be poor. Combine that with parents who aren't there or are in huge amounts of denial...it makes it very hard for the nurses. Because I can tell you, we do care for "our" babies, it just hurts to know their little life is so full of pain. A lot of time we are just frustrated that we can't do anything to really "help"...change the situation, etc. But I am sorry if you were made to feel "at fault" or bad in any way. I'm sure any mother who delivers early is going to question herself, blame herself, but realize, this happens, and you put it in God's hands.....

You sound like a good and caring mother and I am so happy that you were there for your babies, you did great!

I'm glad you had caring nurses, and you have a beautiful baby girl, good luck to you, I'm sure she is going to go far!

[fergus51]

Thank you for sharing your story. I think moondancer summed up my feelings pretty well. I care for all of "my" babies and get really attached to some of them. I know their lives are worth every bit we put into them, if they can have lives.

ROP sucks, but isn't like grade 4 billateral bleeds or defects which are by definition incompatible with life. I have looked after babies when we all knew they would die and the parents still insisted we do everything because they were in such denial. If you saw the nurses performing procedures on your daughter, you know a lot of them are painful. They were worth it because she had a fighting chance at a good life. It can be very difficult for me to cause such pain to a baby when I know it is not going to benefit them at all. They'll die, and their whole life will be painful procedures in the NICU because the parents can't accept that we can't save all the babies we see. It's hard for some of us. I come home some days and feel so guilty.

[hock1]

I gave birth to twin girls at age 18 on May 29th, 2003. They were only 24-25 weeks. One weighed 1lbs 5 oz. and the other weighed 1lbs 4 oz. The youngest was doing the best because she didn't have any problems besides breathing, but she died two days later of a severe bleed in the brain. And that left Z. She had problems like any other preemie. While she was in the hospital we had problems with her duct not closing, a couple of times she had a blood infection, her lungs collapsed, she was diagnosed with stage 3 ROP, and I'm sure there were a lot of other things. It hurts when I hear people talk as though a micropreemie's life isn't worth saving. I've heard people say that they're going to most likely have long term problems or that they're going to die anyway, so it's a waste of money to try and save them.

What a Hitler like thing to say! I am so sorry you had to hear that. How could somebody say that to a parent? Your babies are not a waste. I hope you never come to believe it. At one time babies born before 32 weeks had no chance and now look at what is happening. I've heard of new advances for the micropremies...like oxygenated water etc. We are on the cutting edge and as long as we have people who want to live as long as it's done humanely then what's wrong with that? We all deserve a chance to live no matter what our capabilities.

[mauigal]

QUOTE=foxy star]I gave birth to twin girls at age 18 on May 29th, 2003. They were only 24-25 weeks. One weighed 1lbs 5 oz. and the other weighed 1lbs 4 oz. The youngest was doing the best because she didn't have any problems besides breathing, but she died two days later of a severe bleed in the brain. And that left Z. She had problems like any other preemie. While she was in the hospital we had problems with her duct not closing, a couple of times she had a blood infection, her lungs collapsed, she was diagnosed with stage 3 ROP, and I'm sure there were a lot of other things.

It hurts when I hear people talk as though a micropreemie's life isn't worth saving. I've heard people say that they're going to most likely have long term problems or that they're going to die anyway, so it's a waste of money to try and save them. The articles that I read with comments such as those made me feel so worthless and I felt as though it was my fault that the nurses had to work so hard to save my baby's life. And it was my fault...since I was the one who had gotten pregnant in the first place, but it wasn't my baby's fault.

I visited Z everyday. I watched the nurses stick iv's in her, draw her blood, change her diaper, scan her, weigh her diaper, and give her blood and so on. When we finally got the guts, her dad and me would bathe her, change her diapers, hold her, and when she finally could drink out of a bottle, feed her.

I believe in the power of God and I would always pray to him to help her get better and progress. It worked a GREAT deal. When the doctors told me that she had Stage 3 ROP I prayed even harder. After that I felt a sense of comfort and I thought to myself, "What if God wiped out her ROP completely?" And he did.

Z finally got to come home on September 11th, 2003. And near the end of October, she was off oxygen. When she first came home, I made sure I always read to her, talked to her as if I were talking to one of my friends, and had Mozart playing softly in the background while I was feeding her and while she was sleeping. She had a lot of doctors visits and they all said she was making progress. Her stage 3 ROP went down stages until it was no more. I never really thought that was possible. She might have to wear glasses as she gets older, but so what? A majority of America's population does. A funny story is how I would put these little elastic bands on her hair made for kids. These bands are smaller than a baby's ring. One time I had sat a very tiny elastic band down to comb her hair first, and she saw it and reached for it.

To make a long story short, Zaynah is now 6 1/2 months adjusted and she's doing EVERYTHING that she's supposed to do. Her therapist said it's rare that she can do all this being born so early and she's going to do just fine. She's laughing and cooing, she tries to yell at me (lol), making silly noises (seeing what she can do with her voice), she can roll from her stomach to her back and from her back to her stomach whenever she pleases, she scoots around and gets into everything, she's holding her own bottle, she grabs things, she's very alert and even though they say babies can't see very far, she can see someone all the way on the other side of the room. Things that she's supposed to do at her age. And it's all because of God. I also want to say thanks the nurses at Kosair Children's Hospital that treated my baby like their own.

And you don't know how much it means to a caring parent to see that nurses care. This one nurse in particular would do little things like putting little hand made dresses on her when she was only like 2lbs, and putting little bows in her hair to cheer me up. I hope this story is an inspiration to you because I know you may sometimes feel like it's hopeless or you're not doing a big of a difference. I wasn't asked whether or not I wanted my babies to be kept alive when they were born. And Z gives me a reason to believe that it was a good thing. What if we had given up? Z wouldn't be here.

{Edit} Sorry, the links of the pictures were broken. I finally fixed them.

Here's some pictures:

http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkPhoto?GUID=224a5223-2790-5f74-5e53-56d76ee4134b&size= http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkPhoto?GUID=79752bae-2790-6a9f-2a55-27932699751f&size=:)

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

Thank you for sharing. And lots of love to you and your family.

[shoelace]

She is absolutely beautiful.

Make sure you visit the NICU with her... nurses like to see the fruits of their labor :-)

[nurseiam]

Congats! I am friends with one of our past parents. She had a 24 weeker then a 25 weeker! They told her it wouldn't happen again after the first one! I see them frequently! And they are doing GREAT! They are now 2 and 4 and so far they are awsome!

[Brownbetty]

Thanks for sharing your experience. You don't how much those thank yous are appreciated by NICU nurses like myself. Your daughter is adorable!!!!

[plumrn, BSN, RN]

What a joyously, beautiful, perfect little girl!