New unit manager

Nurses General Nursing

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My unit recently started a new manager. She was formerly a staff nurse on a different unit, and in the times I dealt with her, there were multiple incidents that led me to dislike her. (From serious lapses in appropriate patient care, to attitudes and really inappropriate behavior at work.) Now she's the manager, because sometimes it really is all about who you know, and I have a real dilemma. I cannot and will not pretend to like her or anyone else for that matter, nor will I engage in off topic conversation just to create that ever present "friendly" unit group. My communication with her is brief and solely related to unit issues. Recently, she did something incredibly rude and apparently picked up on the fact that since that time, I have been even more averse to dealing with her unless it's absolutely necessary. I am not rude or difficult, I just stick to the necessary conversations related to the unit. My question is, if she asks me why I obviously don't care for her, how do I answer? The truth is best obviously, but it could get sticky. I am far from being the only person that feels this way, I am just one of the only people who refuses to be fake and pretend otherwise. What would you say if you were in this position?

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Too much trouble coming your way. I would transfer to another unit. This manager is going to make the whole unit toxic if she conducts herself in this manner. The problem is, administration will not wise up until too many nurses have bitten the dust and moved on. Sometimes it is just better to duck and cover then make more problems for yourself.

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Specializes in ER, Infusion therapy, Oncology.

Sounds like you have 2 options, transfer to another unit, or learn to work with her. I learned a long time ago that you do not have to like someone to work with them. You are in a subordinate role to her. It is not a matter of pretending to like her. You need to be very careful. You have to show her some respect or you will be in danger of losing your job for insubordination. Believe me this will not be the last time you have a boss that you do not like or agree with.

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I'm curious as to why you think she is going to ask you this question. And what that has to do with the price of tea....

edit: I also don't see any specific complaints you have about her as a manager, only your experiences with her as a staff nurse.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I can relate, however I suggest you rise above your dislike of her and be more than civil, but be kind and helpful. You are shooting yourself in the foot by allowing your dislike of her to show through. I really think you should try to be the bigger person.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

My personal experience is that you need to always treat her with respect and dignity just to be on the safe side. You never know when life will come back and bite you on the butt. No one will ever know when I hate them at work because it just isn't wise to put your personal feelings out there for all to see. I have learned this the hard way.

Be nice to her or transfer to another unit. I feel sorry for you because it sounds like hard times are coming for the unit.

Of course, if patient safety is compromised this is another story. Document problems you see for future reference if you feel you need to. And keep this info to yourself.

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

"Kill em with kindness" Don't have to be a busy body about her, but congrats on family events(birth of grandkids, graduations from programs, etc.) will make you "appear" friendly....and I hear where you're coming from. Personally, I feel I work on the "worst" unit in the hospital....one where we are not asked for input, and changes are communicated with paperwork only on signs way in the back room or on a board way out in the back of the station.....I, however, feel free to smile, make small talk, discuss important patient issues with her, and then ignore her...half the time, I don't even talk to her more than 2x a month! WHEEEEE!

This is just part of working in any enviroment.....your favorite boss will be you, once you retire!!!!.....keep it professional, and you'll be ok.

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

I have been in your shoes and although it wasn't a unit manager, it was the charge nurse. When she ask me that same question I told her the truth. and that was I would never associate with her outside of work and even though she didn't care for me I really didn't care because all of my family and ALL of my friends did care about me and I was here to make a living and not socialize. Amazingly enough I didn't get a lot of flack from her and when she transferred to another unit she always said hi to me whenever she saw me.

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The price of tea? Not familiar with that saying, but it sure has a sarcastic connotation. Why do I anticipate the question? Because she has already posed it to two of the other nurses we work with. As a manager, only time will tell as she is new to the position. However, she has already made it very clear that no input from staff is desired nor valid with regards to unit decisions. And, if there are any new "rules," or protocols, they are disseminated via e-mail. (Typically after someone has failed to adhere to the new regulations that she initiated but didn't inform staff about.)

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Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
My question is, if she asks me why I obviously don't care for her, how do I answer?

I would lie and say, "What makes you think I don't like you?" in the nicest tone I could muster up if I wanted to keep my job. Someone who would even ask a question like has an agenda. I was a manager. I know this game. She's making a list and she's going to find ways to get those people on that list off the unit. And, she is now in power to do that. She wants to surround herself with a staff that she feels will respect her. Can you blame her? If you were in charge, wouldn't you feel the same way? Wouldn't you want a harmonious group of people as your staff working with you and not against you? You can't win this fight if she manages to be able to stay around in this job for a long time. If you want to stay on this unit I suggest you never reveal your true feelings to her (or anyone else for that matter).

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The price of tea? Not familiar with that saying, but it sure has a sarcastic connotation. Why do I anticipate the question? Because she has already posed it to two of the other nurses we work with. As a manager, only time will tell as she is new to the position. However, she has already made it very clear that no input from staff is desired nor valid with regards to unit decisions. And, if there are any new "rules," or protocols, they are disseminated via e-mail. (Typically after someone has failed to adhere to the new regulations that she initiated but didn't inform staff about.)

Perhaps you should give her a chance to prove herself as a manager, rather than judging her based upon your dislike of her as a staff nurse. I worked with a manager who pretty much sucked on the floor--- but she was a great administrator. Meaning we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

I'm not understanding what the problem is with contacting staff with changes in rules/protocols via email, though. That is one way to ensure everyone gets the same message.

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
The price of tea? Not familiar with that saying, but it sure has a sarcastic connotation.

It is an old question regarding relevance: "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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