New RN needs career advice...:(

AirforceRN, RN · Oct 26, 2008

Sieren...

1st and foremost...it might be time to see a professional regarding your depression. It may only be job related but visions of driving your car into a pole isn't a good sign...neither is crying all the time. There is no shame in it and if nothing else it will give you someone to talk to that isn't on the other side of a computer.

2nd...there are many many different fields of nursing. If ward and hospital nursing isn't your cup of tea, go find something else. Community, Drs Office, school nursing, camp nursing...look around. There is no point going into work if you hate your job. You aren't alone here...there are a lot of nurses that can't handle or really dislike the hospital or LTC environment.

Finally...if you really don't like it and don't think you'll be able to find a nursing role that fits you...get out now and find something else. You are still young and have plenty of time to figure out your career choice.

PICNICRN, BSN, RN · Oct 26, 2008

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Please seek a professional on your feelings- It is not "normal" to be so miserable that you cry before going to work daily and have those "day dreams". I hope you feel better about things soon!

Have you ever thought about Postpartum/Nursery/Maternal Child? Now, in no way is this "easy" work, just different... but for the most part, it is a "happy place". Not many "sick" people, your patients are happy to be there for the most part. Just kinda different patient care. And different mind set than Med/surg/ Geri nursing.

Just a suggestion.

Good luck and hugs to you!! And please take care of YOURSELF!

BradleyRN · Oct 26, 2008

I dont think you need to seek "professional help". It is clear why you are depressed. You have a job making enough money, but you hate it with a passion and dread going to work, mostly because you have too many patients to keep up with. That is perfectly understandable. Almost 20% of RNs are currently not practicing for basically the same reasons. On the other hand, if you hate dealing with people and families, then this may not be the right career. That is the crazy thing about nursing. It doesnt matter how much money they throw at you. If you hate the job, then it wont be enough. Happiness is way more important than money in this short little life. Dont make yourself sick doing something you hate. Good luck!:)

jlcole45 · Oct 26, 2008

It sounds like there is a larger issue at work here. Besides your job, you've recently been diagnosed with MS, and you have significant bills?

Yes, you have good reasons to be down and talking to someone (who is objective) never hurts.

I will be thinking of you and hope that you will heed our advice. Check and see if your employer participates in Employee Assistance Network. It is usually free or at very low cost counseling.

You might want to look into areas of nursing that are not patient care centered..

See my post for someone who was also unhappy with bedside nursing at

Job Issues : Suggestions PLEASE for unhappy nurse

Flightline, BSN, RN · Oct 26, 2008

First off, if you can kill yourself, or if you think you could, then you can walk away from a job. If you can kill yourself, in fact, you can do anything you feel like doing.

From the description you give, you are in an intollerable situation for any human being to be in. Of course, try telling that to a nursing home that worships profit. And then you're only making 19-20 an hour?

By the way, it sounds like you're making money to pay your fiance's bills? Is that true? I was at least man enough to wait until I had her sig on the marriage license before I started making Michelle pay my bills!:icon_hug:

It sounds to me, and this is just my perspective and personal opinion, based on what you wrote: you have a lot you need to walk away from. Maybe your family's influence on you, maybe your fiance, maybe the career that it doesn't sound like you actually wanted to do, maybe your bills via bankruptcy, maybe all of them, maybe tomorrow.

Suicidal thoughts--not actual plans or attempts mind you--but just the suicidal thoughts, I believe are a natural mental defense that gives us permission to escape dominating influences. I believe suicidal ideation comes to us to allow us an out. Because if we feel we can kill ourselves, we at the same time become free of all moral, ethical, religious, familial, relational, financial and occupational restraints. Unfortunately, sometimes people actually act on the impulse and die. You shouldn't die.

But if you say you can drive your car into a tree, then I have to ask why don't you walk away from your job, family, and fiance? Go be a dog groomer. Go work at Blockbuster. Go back to school and become an accountant. It doesn't really matter, you can do whatever you want.

I suggest taking a walk--a serious walk.

Jules A, MSN · Oct 26, 2008

Hi,

While I definitely would not let your nursing license lapse I would find a job in another field that you enjoy, NOW. I think your family gave you good career advice in light of your diagnosis but if you can't find any area of nursing that you can tolerate it is time to get out.

Since money is an issue maybe you could still do prn work one or two days a week which pays great and might be bearable. Hopefully your fiancee is contributing his fair share and I would also suggest cutting back on any expenses you can.

People with MS are prone to depression and not just for the obvious reaons of "duh they were diagnosed with this stinking disease" there seems to be an organic factor also. Life is too short to be miserable especially since stress could have a negative effect on your MS. Hugs, Jules

Check out the Nurses with Disabilities section on this board because there is a Nurses with MS thread that is good.

Sieren · Oct 26, 2008

Thank you so much for all the kind words and advice, guys :)

Well, first off, I didn't mean to sound like I was suicidal, because I am not....I was thinking more along the lines of a broken leg or something And I would never actually do anything like that on purpose, I just have an overactive imagination.

I don't think I really need professional help to figure out why I'm depressed, I know its because of my job. I was always one of those people that swore that they would NEVER have a job just for the money and that I would only do what I loved. And that fantasy didn't turn out like I expected, and I just took it a lot harder than most people because I am very oversensitive, and was really really sheltered as a child (up until college, actually) so there was never a doubt in my mind that my dream would come true. Until I got sick (dx with MS 3/4 way through freshman year of college, which was when I changed my major) I was so confused and sick (fuzzy mind and 1/2 my body went numb for a few weeks) and the medicine made me feel like I had the flu every other day, so I didn't really know what to do. So I just listened to what everybody around me said, but it turned out that at the time noone knew me well enough to give me the right advice.

So basically that is why i'm depressed, plus the fact that because of having MS, I don't have very much energy. Therefore, work takes up ALL of my energy and I am left with very little energy to work on the things I want to, which makes me hate my job even more! (My eventual goal is to be a fiber and jewelry artist--I sew clothing and purses, and make fine jewelry. I am basically teaching myself right now because I know that it is really difficult to get started with your own business. Which is why I need a good-paying job to pay back school bills plus save up some money to start my busieness and buy supplies etc).

I know someone mentioned my fiancee being part of the problem, but I want to assure you he's not. He has just graduated from college as well, with a bio/chem degree. He plans to go to med school in 2 years, but wants to work for 2 years in the medical field to have a better chance of getting in. Unfortunely in this area, there is not a lot of medical entry level jobs availble unless you are a CNA. He actually feels horrible he can't find a job good engough that I can quit mine. We have thought about moving to a different state, but I don't know how much difference that woudl make in the job market?

oOOookay, now that i've wrote a novel for y'all, I have another question. I know that this WHOLE mess could be fixed if I could JUST find a nursing job I could tolerate for the next few years. However, it just seems that all the nursing jobs I find that I like require at least 2-3 years of expierience, which I dont' have. I only plan on working in nursing for the next 3 or so years, hopefully. All the clinic jobs want "expierienced RN's" becuase of the triage, any work for insurance companies I've seen are either in different states or the work at home (which I would love) want like 3 years of expierience. Any suggestions of where to look? I've tried online so far, should I just call up clinics and ask if they're hiring RN's?

Here are my criteria for a good job that I could tolerate:

slow paced

minimal pt. contact or only a few pts to care for

no on-call

at least $20/hr (right now i'm getting $25/hr actually)

I will be so greatful for any suggestions on how to find a job like this. :yeah: :redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe Sorry so long....

AirforceRN, RN · Oct 26, 2008

Sieren...

I know a lot of the advice above has been...harsh...for lack of a better word. Its hard to really understand your situation over a computer screen and my suggestion to see help is more a worst case scenario idea...you never know who is typing their story and I'd rather offer this advice liberally than never offer it and lose a peer.

Have you thought of Periop nursing? Specifically pre-op? You will see a lot of patients but generally for a very short period of time and the actual contact is pretty minimal. The pace isn't bad as the surgeons only work so fast and the hours are (in my experience) 8 hours instead of 12.

ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN · Oct 27, 2008

I know exactly how you feel. The difference for me is that I decided to go into Nursing. I attended an Ivy League university where I earned my undergraduate degree. I decided shortly after graduating to pursue my graduate degree. So, three years later, I had earned my MBA. I hated going to work. I started with the company when I was 16 and had been with them for 17 years before deciding to leave. What I can tell you is this; deciding to leave to pursue something else alleviated so much stress. If you are so unhappy where you work, you seriously need to get out. There is no salary amount that is comparable to a person’s happiness. Nursing will pay me less than what I was making as a corporate manager, but you have to make a decision as to what is more important; your sanity or salary. I wish I could suggest other areas for you to pursue, but I haven’t yet begun to work as a nurse.

Good luck to you and I sincerely hope you are able to find something else that will make you happier.

PopeJane3rd · Oct 27, 2008

How come your fiancee can't pay his/her own bills? Why should you have to take the hold load? These days ANY job you work in ANY field will have mucho problems because the economy is bad and employers know there are many people out there that need a job and so us job seekers are extremely dispensable. Hang in there. You can also keep looking in the papers for something local that you may like but good luck. Be grateful that you have a job. I know people out there who haven't had a job in over a year and still looking. All of this talk about getting into a car crash lends me to think you have to get yourself together mentally first before you go any further. You have to learn how to be tough and roll with the punches. I am a sensitive person too and my job has shown me tons of stress but I'm learning to cope.

twinmommaRN08 · Oct 27, 2008

How come your fiancee can't pay his/her own bills? Why should you have to take the hold load? These days ANY job you work in ANY field will have mucho problems because the economy is bad and employers know there are many people out there that need a job and so us job seekers are extremely dispensable. Hang in there. You can also keep looking in the papers for something local that you may like but good luck. Be grateful that you have a job. I know people out there who haven't had a job in over a year and still looking. All of this talk about getting into a car crash lends me to think you have to get yourself together mentally first before you go any further. You have to learn how to be tough and roll with the punches. I am a sensitive person too and my job has shown me tons of stress but I'm learning to cope.

The OP came on this board looking for advice, not someone telling her she should be "grateful that [she] has a job" and that she needs to "learn how to be tough and roll with the punches."

Are these the type of responses you're looking for when you post your questions? If so, just let me know because I have read the threads you started. Hmph

To the OP:

I commend you for owning your feelings and beginning to live for yourself--doing what will make you happy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but MS can be exacerbated by stress and fatigue, right? You need to continue researching positions in nursing that will be better suited for you, because if you stay at your job, you'll be putting your sanity and physical wellbeing at risk.

What advice would you give to a patient that was in your situation?