New RN: Bullied + Depressed = Time to Quit?

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Apr 23, 2014

If you work nights, how exactly are the day nurses 'bullying' you?

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Apr 24, 2014

OP- are you still there?

irishlynn5 · Apr 24, 2014

not exactly where i wanted to go with this post...but they make fun of me behind my back, purposefully choose my patient assignments to give me a hard time, are completely rude to me when i dont know something right off my head about the patient, or if i do something wrong. Like its to the point that other nurses come to me privately and say "that was really mean the way she treated you, she should not have talked to you that way" I am so new at this and the culture on my floor is just aweful and has high turnover because of it. No one wants to help anyone. And this one nurse on my floor has been bullying for years (to the point that i know a few nurses who left specifically because of the bad additude nurses).

SoontoBNP · Apr 25, 2014

In my experience, there are bullies in all fields. It's terrible when you are new to a stressful field and need guidance and get negativity back. I wish I could give you better advice, but I'm new to nursing too. I had a similar experience but it was outpatient. My first job after graduating.

It was a busy office, but super easy job. I worked there for a few weeks and everything seemed great. However, there were a few bad eggs in the office. One day a nurse who not only bullied the staff but patients set her sights on me. She started watching everything I did, claiming I had no idea what I was doing. She loudly announced in front of patients that I was taking vitals all wrong (seriously? How did I graduate without knowing how to take vitals?), She started quizzing me on medications and even though I did give her the correct answers, she accused me of making mistakes. She was extremely condescending. I wasn't collecting lab specimens right, I was taking too long at the nurses station, I wasn't doing strep checks right because she didn't hear anyone "chocking". She watched me document information in the computer and announced to everyone I was documenting incorrectly. I was actually documenting the correct way, but there are two separate ways to get to the same documentation location in the program. It was taking everything in my power not to turn around and scream "What is your problem!?"

Instead of stooping to her level, I asked her to talk to me with our supervisor.

We spoke with my supervisor, I explained the situation and she vehemently denied any wrongdoing, even though she had been breathing down my neck all day. She claimed that I was making errors right and left, that I needed to be "retrained". I calmly informed by supervisor that this was not true. The bully unprofessionally started in on a tirade that she used to work in an abortion clinic and has 20 years experience. My supervisor actually apologized to this woman and asked to talk to me alone. Then she told me, because I was new, I should just take her feedback with a smile.This wasn't feedback- the woman was harassing me.

After that some of the other office staff started acting cold towards me. It progressively got worse. I tried, I really tried to make up for "tattling" on the bully. I brought in coffee and snacks, I offered to help others out when they seemed busy and I had a spare minute, but it was obvious I had been singled out. I would walk into the break room and everyone would leave. I didn't know what to do.

A few days later I came to work as scheduled and was locked out of the office. The front desk girls ignored me when I knocked. I was let in by my supervisor ten minutes later and told that my job was terminated without an explanation. I asked if I had done anything wrong, and she said no. I asked if I could resign instead, she said yes. Then a week later they sent me an email saying they could no longer accept my resignation.

I'm so frustrated because I feel like I'll never find another job. How do I explain this to a potential employer?

If I could do it over again, I would try to make the best of the situation and grow a thicker skin. I wouldn't react to my bully. Sometimes people do it to get a reaction. People retaliate when you report their actions to higher ups. It's ugly and a reality of life.

It seems like in nursing there is this attitude that nurses should shut up, not rock the boat. I wish it wasn't like that, but in my experience, it is. I hope some other hospital based nurses give you some useful advice.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2014

It seems like in nursing there is this attitude that nurses should shut up, not rock the boat.

Yep, it's true in the hospital, too. Sorry all of that happened to you!

Regarding day nurses bullying night nurses: totally possible. There a couple of nurses on my unit that are unpleasant to give report to, but there is one that is a straight-up bully who is also lazy and likes to disappear for the first hour or so of her shift. I always get out late when she works after me because she won't do anything for her patients before 0800 and she is nowhere to be found. I end up doing plenty of patient care well after my shift is over just because I'd feel bad leaving the patients in a bad spot because their day nurse won't help them. I have never gotten out before 0745 any day she has worked after me because of her amazing disappearing act.

She apparently spends all day digging through my charting, because when I come back that night she always has "feedback" for me about something I wrote. Two problems with this: A. My charting is none of her business and B. where in the world does she find the time to look at everything I charted all night long? It's okay if you catch a glaring error, but if you're talking about something like breath sounds - guess what sunshine, patients can change in the time frame between my 0300 assessment and your 0700 assessment. I didn't chart it wrong, the patient just sounded different four hours ago. Good lord. And don't even get me started on how she blatantly ignores me during report, like asking what kind of access a patient has right after I've just said the patient has a 20 in her right AC and a 22 in her right forearm.

So yeah, OP - feeling you on how it's possible to be bullied by nurses from a different shift.

I wish I had gotten hired at New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington, NC. I have no idea what it's like as a workplace but it certainly is located in a beautiful place. Try there if you are really thinking coastal NC.

nikkley · Apr 25, 2014

Are you in NY?

Bullying and the things you are describing are absolutely not ok. And the fact you have gone to your manager about it and nothing was done, is awful. Older nurses don't get a free pass to be ******* and bullies just because they're comfortable in their careers. I would go above your managers head.

MereSanity · Apr 25, 2014

I quit a job due to bullying and the fact that management not only did nothing about but also promoted the bully. I am so much happier now!

Mxhou · Apr 25, 2014

Really sad to hear that nurses are bullying each other. C'mon I mean nursing jobs is tough enough just give us a break !

TriciaJ, RN · Apr 26, 2014

In my experience, there are bullies in all fields. It's terrible when you are new to a stressful field and need guidance and get negativity back. I wish I could give you better advice, but I'm new to nursing too. I had a similar experience but it was outpatient. My first job after graduating.
It was a busy office, but super easy job. I worked there for a few weeks and everything seemed great. However, there were a few bad eggs in the office. One day a nurse who not only bullied the staff but patients set her sights on me. She started watching everything I did, claiming I had no idea what I was doing. She loudly announced in front of patients that I was taking vitals all wrong (seriously? How did I graduate without knowing how to take vitals?), She started quizzing me on medications and even though I did give her the correct answers, she accused me of making mistakes. She was extremely condescending. I wasn't collecting lab specimens right, I was taking too long at the nurses station, I wasn't doing strep checks right because she didn't hear anyone "chocking". She watched me document information in the computer and announced to everyone I was documenting incorrectly. I was actually documenting the correct way, but there are two separate ways to get to the same documentation location in the program. It was taking everything in my power not to turn around and scream "What is your problem!?"
Instead of stooping to her level, I asked her to talk to me with our supervisor.
We spoke with my supervisor, I explained the situation and she vehemently denied any wrongdoing, even though she had been breathing down my neck all day. She claimed that I was making errors right and left, that I needed to be "retrained". I calmly informed by supervisor that this was not true. The bully unprofessionally started in on a tirade that she used to work in an abortion clinic and has 20 years experience. My supervisor actually apologized to this woman and asked to talk to me alone. Then she told me, because I was new, I should just take her feedback with a smile.This wasn't feedback- the woman was harassing me.
After that some of the other office staff started acting cold towards me. It progressively got worse. I tried, I really tried to make up for "tattling" on the bully. I brought in coffee and snacks, I offered to help others out when they seemed busy and I had a spare minute, but it was obvious I had been singled out. I would walk into the break room and everyone would leave. I didn't know what to do.
A few days later I came to work as scheduled and was locked out of the office. The front desk girls ignored me when I knocked. I was let in by my supervisor ten minutes later and told that my job was terminated without an explanation. I asked if I had done anything wrong, and she said no. I asked if I could resign instead, she said yes. Then a week later they sent me an email saying they could no longer accept my resignation.
I'm so frustrated because I feel like I'll never find another job. How do I explain this to a potential employer?
If I could do it over again, I would try to make the best of the situation and grow a thicker skin. I wouldn't react to my bully. Sometimes people do it to get a reaction. People retaliate when you report their actions to higher ups. It's ugly and a reality of life.
It seems like in nursing there is this attitude that nurses should shut up, not rock the boat. I wish it wasn't like that, but in my experience, it is. I hope some other hospital based nurses give you some useful advice.

You did the right thing by asking for a three-way conversation with the bully and your supervisor. Your supervisor's attitude was odd; seems like the bully has something on her.

Getting fired from that job is like winning the lottery. That place sounds toxic. When a prospective employer asks you about that job, just say it was more of a learning experience than a keeper. Good luck.

lidleanjel · Apr 26, 2014

I started in the OR and the older nurses were terrible and so were the physicians, anes, and scrub techs. About 2 months before I left full time everyone start to be very helpful instead of continuously throwing me under the bus. When they found out I was going prn I had numerous people disappointed. I was honestly wonders why because I did everything wrong all the time.

I can tell you that even though I really struggled I definitely did acquire a thicker skin and I do tend to give some back to those bullying nurses. Not just because it's right but because these nurses seem to respect you more when u show them your thick skin. Anytime

I work in the OR I get warm welcomes from everyone.

My advice don't give up! Just look at the bullying as learning experiences especially how not to treat new nurses. Do not get down when u do not know something, learn it for next time. The one benefit of life is, we don't know everything! When u get overwhelmed ... Breath!

morte, LPN, LVN · Apr 26, 2014

did you get unemployment?

In my experience, there are bullies in all fields. It's terrible when you are new to a stressful field and need guidance and get negativity back. I wish I could give you better advice, but I'm new to nursing too. I had a similar experience but it was outpatient. My first job after graduating.
It was a busy office, but super easy job. I worked there for a few weeks and everything seemed great. However, there were a few bad eggs in the office. One day a nurse who not only bullied the staff but patients set her sights on me. She started watching everything I did, claiming I had no idea what I was doing. She loudly announced in front of patients that I was taking vitals all wrong (seriously? How did I graduate without knowing how to take vitals?), She started quizzing me on medications and even though I did give her the correct answers, she accused me of making mistakes. She was extremely condescending. I wasn't collecting lab specimens right, I was taking too long at the nurses station, I wasn't doing strep checks right because she didn't hear anyone "chocking". She watched me document information in the computer and announced to everyone I was documenting incorrectly. I was actually documenting the correct way, but there are two separate ways to get to the same documentation location in the program. It was taking everything in my power not to turn around and scream "What is your problem!?"
Instead of stooping to her level, I asked her to talk to me with our supervisor.
We spoke with my supervisor, I explained the situation and she vehemently denied any wrongdoing, even though she had been breathing down my neck all day. She claimed that I was making errors right and left, that I needed to be "retrained". I calmly informed by supervisor that this was not true. The bully unprofessionally started in on a tirade that she used to work in an abortion clinic and has 20 years experience. My supervisor actually apologized to this woman and asked to talk to me alone. Then she told me, because I was new, I should just take her feedback with a smile.This wasn't feedback- the woman was harassing me.
After that some of the other office staff started acting cold towards me. It progressively got worse. I tried, I really tried to make up for "tattling" on the bully. I brought in coffee and snacks, I offered to help others out when they seemed busy and I had a spare minute, but it was obvious I had been singled out. I would walk into the break room and everyone would leave. I didn't know what to do.
A few days later I came to work as scheduled and was locked out of the office. The front desk girls ignored me when I knocked. I was let in by my supervisor ten minutes later and told that my job was terminated without an explanation. I asked if I had done anything wrong, and she said no. I asked if I could resign instead, she said yes. Then a week later they sent me an email saying they could no longer accept my resignation.
I'm so frustrated because I feel like I'll never find another job. How do I explain this to a potential employer?
If I could do it over again, I would try to make the best of the situation and grow a thicker skin. I wouldn't react to my bully. Sometimes people do it to get a reaction. People retaliate when you report their actions to higher ups. It's ugly and a reality of life.
It seems like in nursing there is this attitude that nurses should shut up, not rock the boat. I wish it wasn't like that, but in my experience, it is. I hope some other hospital based nurses give you some useful advice.