new nurse unsure of how to get along

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Oct 7, 2014

Unfortunately, you've described a common theme across most hospitals across the country. There will ALWAYS be nurses for whom you couldn't possibly do enough before you give report; I have dealt with some who I SWEAR would only be happy if they heard "would you like me to stay for your entire shift and continue to give meds, do assessments, change dressings, empty drains, and chart on all of that for you?"

Some nurses do 'get' that floor nursing is a 24-hour a day job, and that not everything that can possibly be done for a patient is going to happen during your 8-12 hour shift.

As long as you have been conscientious and TRIED to get as much done as is reasonable, THEY need to either be reasonable or "deal with it"! If someone is truly busting your buns, you can always respond with "well, I did do the best I could under the circumstances--things weren't all wrapped up in a bow when I came on, of course....I guess there's always the catching up from what was left over, isn't there?" Or maybe nicer....or not

There were times, mostly in my 'new' days, that when I gave report I wondered what on earth I could possibly do so that I wouldn't get the heavy sigh or the eye roll. And there were times when I would answer the question "what was I&O" (for an ambulatory, ready-to-be-discharged self-feeder) with "you can always look that up if you're interested, as it isn't critical to know just now".

Hang in there. It does get better, mostly because you'll gain the confidence to sling it back when necessary :)

CVICU-Nurse1.5 · Oct 7, 2014

Life happens to all of us, but we decide how to interpret it.

newnurse11491 · Oct 7, 2014

thank you that helps alot!

firstinfamily, RN · Oct 7, 2014

I know this is going to sound a little strange, but I usually did not make "friends" with my co-workers. Sometimes there were co-workers who I got along with better and we would all go out for breakfast after a long night and share our experiences. But I did not purposefully try to make friends. I was burned early in my nursing career by a co-worker "friend" who expected me to treat her special because we were "friends". This would put me in very awkward positions and sometimes I would have to choose which would be the worse scenario. Hence, I try to get along with everyone, but let very few into my private circle. As long as you are doing the appropriate amount of nursing tasks, concerns and addressing abnormal findings etc. You are doing your job. Most night shifts have less staff than day shifts, so if there is something that truly needs attention and it is not acute, then day shift should be addressing it. Don't let them get you down, do your job and just keep smiling. Sometimes you can kill them with kindness, that works better than being sarcastic. If you feel they are directly picking on you then report it to the manager yourself. Let her know that you are aware of the negative aspects and you are trying to not let it affect your work etc. Good Luck!!

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 7, 2014

However, each time I give report to certain nurses they will come back with snarky comments about what I did or didn't do.

People are snarky to others whom they view as easy targets. Your coworkers most likely view you as an easy target, so they're snarky. If they saw you as a nurse with strong boundaries who would put up a defense against their rudeness, they would have already stopped messing with you and moved on to others who are easier targets.

We teach others how to treat us. I learned this the hard way through experience. I realized that the more I tried to be friendly and accommodating and reasonable, the meaner my coworkers became. Unfortunately, some people take our kindness for weakness and will attempt to run over us. Thus, we must stop being kind to people who don't reciprocate the kindness.

The very moment I would curse "Don't $* with me today," the bad behavior and eye-rolling suddenly stopped. I was becoming too difficult to pick on; therefore, the snarky nurses moved on to people who wouldn't defend themselves. In other words, they moved on to easy targets.

Call the snarky nurses out on their behavior during the next instance in which they act rudely. Make things uncomfortable for them. Rid yourself of the perception that you are an easy target. Use "I" statements. "I feel like you are making this a hostile work environment whenever you treat me badly." "I am not mean to you, so you need to not be mean to me."

In addition, stop bending over backwards to make friends with coworkers. You are not earning any respect by doing this. Good luck to you!

nightbreak · Oct 7, 2014

newnurse -

Unfortunately it is a fact of nursing life that some nurses are really horrible to give/get report from. You may have stumbled into a department where the unit culture is not supportive and the nurses enjoy belittling or gossiping about others. Try to ignore it. Concentrate on learning all you can as you make your way through your first year. Concentrate on the good you can do for your patients. Don't give the eye-rollers one more ounce of your energy.

In the past I have used the "moment of silence" to curb bad behavior during report. The eye-roller says something rude and I just sit there looking them directly in the eye for 5-6 uncomfortable seconds, then I ignore their question/comment and continue on with my report as if nothing had happened. Sometimes during the silence the eye-roller will actually stammer out an apology, to which I reply "no worries" and again, continue with report as if nothing had happened.

best wishes,

nightbreak

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Oct 7, 2014

I would stop speaking, and in a deadpan tone say--"Well that was an inappropriate comment and uncalled for, however, moving on...." and go right back to report. If something else is said again, again stop and say "is this a passive aggressive attempt to communicate something to me, as I am a bit lost on your goal....". Finish up your report, and go home. Snarkiness is unbecoming, rude, unprofessional and don't internalize it. It is their issue to contend with, not yours. If you did everything you needed to on your shift, there is not a reason in the world that you then need to start day shift's job for them. Especially when it is busy.

Make sure when you are giving report, you are giving just the facts. No "I am sorry I didn't have time to...." or anything other than to give a factual report. It is up to the next nurse to then fill in the blanks on their time--per SBAR reporting. As a pp indicated, nursing is a 24 hour job, and not all up to one nurse to complete it. You can say "Rm 333 needs labs drawn this morning" or "just as an aside, room 423 has 0730 meds" anything that could be helpful at the start of shift, but you are under no obligation to do these things before the day shift comes

Make sure your friends and your life is outside the doors of work. Best wishes.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Oct 8, 2014

I know this is going to sound a little strange, but I usually did not make "friends" with my co-workers. Sometimes there were co-workers who I got along with better and we would all go out for breakfast after a long night and share our experiences. But I did not purposefully try to make friends. I was burned early in my nursing career by a co-worker "friend" who expected me to treat her special because we were "friends". This would put me in very awkward positions and sometimes I would have to choose which would be the worse scenario. Hence, I try to get along with everyone, but let very few into my private circle. As long as you are doing the appropriate amount of nursing tasks, concerns and addressing abnormal findings etc. You are doing your job. Most night shifts have less staff than day shifts, so if there is something that truly needs attention and it is not acute, then day shift should be addressing it. Don't let them get you down, do your job and just keep smiling. Sometimes you can kill them with kindness, that works better than being sarcastic. If you feel they are directly picking on you then report it to the manager yourself. Let her know that you are aware of the negative aspects and you are trying to not let it affect your work etc. Good Luck!!

THIS.

Stop bending over backwards; SBAR, and roll out.

I have made more "friends" in workplaces by commanding respect and respecting myself, including never hesitating that our business is a 24-hour job.

You have received wonderful advice...now put it into practice! :up:

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2014

Nursing is a 24/7 job. As long as I give you the highlights and most critical information then that should be okay. If you want to know what anything other than that then look it up. It is not that hard.

tyvin, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2014

Yep...deadpan voice "Moving on..."; don't worry and don't offer multiple excuses for doing your job! Every place has 1 or 2 of those insecure people who don't realize they are projecting. I, myself, wouldn't put on the "that was uncalled for "comment, just moving on will get the point across. Don't invite a quarrel. Not saying that it doesn't work but I go for the less interactive approach.

As has been said, nursing is a 24/7, it doesn't end. Things get passed on, that's the reality. Hang in there and welcome to nursing :)

greenerpastures · Oct 8, 2014

I think you and I work in the same place. I know people have a bad day once and a while, but every shift you have an issue that prevents you from getting it done? PLEASE. Bust my butt to get everything done on my shift, but never seem to get reciprocity from certain nurses. Critical labs at change of shift, I'd wait around to page MD, talk to MD about it, then pass along, even if it took three pages to reach them. Preop issue and the OR is coming to pick up at 0745 - used to get everything ready, vitals done, etc right before I left. Not so much after you are rude to me multiple times. I've learned to just do what I can do, give report, and PEACE OUT! If there's an issue now that comes up at shift change, I page the MD to return a call to the floor, give report, and let the other nurse follow up. Give me attitude, I stop helping you when I'm supposed to be off the clock!