New nurse: I get no respect

[Nurse326]

Hi all.

I recently started as a new grad in the ED, and as I've already expected and heard prior to going into that hospital-- there will be some nurse bullying and sure enough, there is.

I've been there for about a month now and I'm still precepting. So far I haven't had too many issues with the RN staff. I know there's a lot of cattyness and complaints about new grads but I've just ignored them. Aside from the RN staff, I feel like I'm getting most of the attitude from the ED techs. On several occasions, I felt like I was being pushed around because I'm so new.

I have always made an effort to be nice and say hello to anyone I'm around but I've been consistently ignored and treated as if I'm not there. On several occasions when I was watching a trauma come in, the techs would tell me to get this and that for them in a dismissive tone and not talk to me after that. I really don't mind getting equipment and helping out, but I felt like they were treating me as if I was beneath them. In that situation, I didn't feel like I had the choice to refuse or stand up for myself because I was just standing there observing.

On another occasion when I was giving an IV medication, the MD corrected me about something, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ED techs shaking their heads at each other and rolling their eyes. I could go on about other micro-aggressions, but most of it is going out of their way to ignore me and excluding me (ie, updating my preceptor on my patient's status even though I was assuming most of the care and I was right there, and still refusing to talk to me).

I feel like the obvious answer to this situation is to talk it out with them, but I feel like snapping back is also something I need to do for myself. I don't want to use the "I'm the RN and you're the tech and you need to respect me" argument because I feel like they should treat me with respect regardless of the position I'm in.

It's hard enough learning as a new grad in the ED. It's even harder when people around you are beating you down.

*Sigh* Has anyone had experience with this? How did you deal with it?

[Emergent, RN]

When I was new they disrespected me because I was new. When I became an accomplished nurse with 8 years experience they started disliking me because they are envious. Most recently they dislike me because I'm agency-contract so they imagine I make a lot of money. Just tell yourself you are not there to make friends. You are there for the patients first and to take care of yourself so you have the emotional and physical stamina to continue working.

Change jobs if they annoy you. I'm a contract nurse so I change jobs every 3 months.

Maybe you are rubbing people the wrong way, did you ever consider that? You might want to brush up on your people skills...

[rhine1121]

I mentored new hires in the ED. I always tell them tips on how to be a team player as a new nurse. For example, if the other nurses/ techs are busy and there is a call light, you can go look and see what the patient wants. Minor things that you can do for the other staffs will make a big difference. Use your initiative and be proactive. This will make a big impression. I know that there is hesitation when you are new, but if you are not sure, Always ASk. The main thing is, you made an effort to help. Be more receptive with suggestions. Sometimes, new nurses has the tendency not to listen.. One time at work, one of the nurses made a suggestion to my orientee and my orientee did not like it. She went and confronted the RN after I told her to just let it go. News travel fast like a wild fire and first impression last, no matter what good you will become...We are observing new hires and what we don't like to see are those who just sits there and wait to be told what to do after a couple of weeks orientation.

[bgxyrnf, MSN, RN]

I don't have a problem with getting supplies. I have a problem with tone. There is a difference between "Could you get the supplies?" VS "Get me the supplies!".

As I've said repeatedly, I am not the whiny new grad seeking validity and admiration. I'm asking for the BASIC respect you'd give to a stranger-- which is NOT to be RUDE. Is that hard?

Excellent advice for someone who is actually playing that card. I don't know how it came off to you that I am actually using any sort of power play.

I'm under the impression you think it is permissible to be treated dismissively because you were treated the same way. I truly hope you are not an offender yourself, and if so, do everyone a favor and retire immediately.

So an honest response from someone who's been around the block a time or two isn't what you were looking for.

You clearly have no interest in hearing feedback from an experienced perspective. So be it.

[Scroll89]

For the most part, new nurses get exactly as much respect as they earn. It has always been my practice (and the practice of most of the seasoned nurses and preceptors I know) to start out with respecting the new nurse -- she got through an accredited program and passed the licensing exam, she must have some smarts. She got past our incredibly insightful manager and got herself the job -- she must be a team player. Disrespect only comes if the new nurse has proven she deserves it -- and usually only then after she's proven in multiple times.

I just wish that the others in this thread would have the same view. Trust =/= respect. I respect people for being human and attempting to do their best. I trust people for showing me their best and doing it consistently. The only type of respect that is earned should be disrespect. I don't immediately trust new people or those I haven't worked with, but I also give them ample opportunity to earn that trust.

[Salter444]

I am kinda mixed on this one. On one hand everyone deserves a professional level of respect - nurse, tech, housekeeping, etc.. then again as a newbie walking through the door and still on orientation you have let that stuff roll off your back. Just because you passed your nursing boards does not deem you an expert and you have to grit it out a bit a prove yourself to all your co-workers. We have all been there at one point or the other. I usually try to involve those around me. Use the tech and ask them questions and show you value their help. You are gonna need them and how you build those bridges will go a long way to your overall success. Six months from now this should not be an issue. These are things they do not teach you in school and their respect will come over time and based on your effort.

[Dianna11]

I don't... Nobody should have to "work" for respect. Respect should be given to everyone no matter their situation. (Okay, some people don't deserve respect, but they dig their own grave for that...) There is plenty a new grad needs to work for; respect shouldn't be one of them.

Trust and pay are just two concepts a new grad should work for. Basic respect should be a given.

I completely agree with everything you said. Thank you.

[tcvnurse, BSN, RN]

I feel like every new nurse should get to attend a Crucial Conversations workshop. I got to go via a program at my hospital and it has really helped me with communication. For example, you could say, "I see that you're rolling your eyes when I do such and such, Is there anything you'd like to say?" Often times, calling people on their crap takes the wind right out of their sails.

And sometimes, they will actually tell you what's been bothering them and it might be something that has never even crossed your mind. Interactions with people are ALWAYS a two way street and you bring just as much to the interaction as the other person.

[MYSTICOOKIEBEAR]

I do not treat every employee in the hospital with respect, I treat them with professionalism. There are some MDs, NPs, RNs who are not very good, consistently make bad calls, or are just indifferent and because of that have not earned my respect. There was one cardiac surgery fellow who would throw the nurses under the bus during rounds and he finally did it to me (other fellows knew how I managed my patients and knew that he was BSing), because of that I lost all of my trust and respect for him, but I made sure our working relationship was still professional.

No matter what you do in this world, respect is not given, it is EARNED. Earn their respect by going out of your way to help them, ask them questions since they have more experience there than you, seek their guidance because they have walked the walk and it is now your time to prove that you can as well. Unless you do this, they will never respect you, and will unfortunately not treat you with professionalism.

[moleskine44]

I really feel you. When i started ED with no ED background nurses told me "You can't make it" everyday i worked. Everyone was rude to me, but i took it as a challenge and worked very hard to learn as much as i could during my orientation. Now, everyone respects me because they know how i work. It is earned.

[EastCoastLiving]

Trust is EARNED. Respect is SHOWN. The sooner we start collectively recognizing this, the better off we will be as a whole.

[GM2RN]

I really feel you. When i started ED with no ED background nurses told me "You can't make it" everyday i worked. Everyone was rude to me, but i took it as a challenge and worked very hard to learn as much as i could during my orientation. Now, everyone respects me because they know how i work. It is earned.

Even if someone cannot be respected or trusted because of a lack of demonstrable skills, there is never any reason to be rude.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Even if someone cannot be respected or trusted because of a lack of demonstrable skills, there is never any reason to be rude.

But rudeness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.