I'm a new grad nurse. I was assigned to a preceptor who gossiped about everyone, was nasty to patients, but at the same time very possessive of her patients. Just a few examples of her behavior; when passing meds, I was never going fast enough, so she'd butt in and do it herself because I was so slow. Hello? I'm going slow because I'm new and I want to be accurate and safe! I would ask questions constantly and she'd either ignore me or give me some smart retort. When showing me how to chart, she'd say, "Click here, then here, then here." Never a thorough explanation of what the heck was going on. It was brutal. I was learning nothing! I finally went to my nurse educator and asked to be switched to a different preceptor. She switched me with no problem; however, now the previous preceptor is (of course) gossiping about me and rallying her crew of toadies. A few nurses have asked me what happened, but I never say a word about the person. I just say that I needed a schedule change and leave it at that. I don't want the drama, but I have unfortunately found myself in it! I'm at the point that I just want to quit and find another job. This is insane. I'm stressed out not only because I feel so ill-prepared to care for patients, but in addition to having a target on my back now that I spoke up about the situation. But I had to do something because I was learning nothing!! Can someone help with some words of encouragement or advice or something? I don't know what to do. My personal life is suffering because I can't seem to let go of the worry. I hate the thought of having to go back there Monday.
I'm a new nurse as well, just coming off of orientation this week. I also had issues like this; unfortunately this sort of behavior is way too common. They even warned us about it in nursing school, they termed it "nurses eating their young". I even wrote a paper about it, about how nurses are supposed to be the most empathetic and caring people in the world, yet they are brutal and toxic to each other.
I went through 14 preceptors in my 5 months of orientation. Most of it was due to my scheduling issues, I was unable to follow just one preceptor. But several of then I had actual issues with. I was told to just do things, with no explanation as to why I was doing them. Charting was nitpicked. Basically, all I ever heard was negative, and I was only ever told things I was doing wrong. I did the same as you though; I kept my head down, I refused to talk bad about the preceptors to other nurses, and I did my best to stay out of the drama. There were many days I hated the thought of going in as well.
But last week I was re-assigned to my original preceptor, who was always negative and whom had asked to switch. After 3 months of working with someone else, I was a different nurse. She came up to me after my shift and told me that I was much better, and that she felt I was more than ready to come off orientation. It nearly brought me to tears to hear that.
So moral of the story; stick with it. Keep doing what you're doing. Learn everything you can and become the best nurse you can be. Don't feed into the drama. Don't let them negatively affect your position. As you get better and learn more, eventually they will see how good a nurse you actually are, and the drama will hopefully stop.
Specializes in Surgical, Home Infusions, HVU, PCU, Neuro.
I had an awful preceding experience when I moved to another facility. I felt like I was picked on and had a target stamped on day 1. I was pulled from patient care from one preceptor (same preceptor and patient from the previous day) because she thought I needed better time management skills, and apparently thought this was a achievable by shadowing her. I should point out that I had been nursing for 4 years prior to this facility change on very similar floors. My time management, nor patient care was not this issue. The absolutely horrid charting system, and knowing what the doctors actually wanted versus what was ordered mixed with "ways of doing things that I was not accustomed too (ie, using 4am lab draw glucose for breakfast that arrives at 8 am, charge nurse not really a "resource " but rather more of a discharge paperwork producer and room assigner). I would have my calls to the desk be picked up and immediately hung up on, called and informed blood was picked up and on the floor for 1 patient while they new I was in with a new admit needing medical clearance for surgery, and had no orders despite having a seizure in outpatient surgery yada yada. I almost felt more at a disadvantage for having experience than I would have if I started there as a new grad.
"I was learning nothing!" I do not believe this one bit. I do believe, however, that you have learned what you do not what to do or be like when you start precepting, having students, or plainly being a nurse in general. The circumstances you had to experience to further instill these traits in your "do not use" category are unfortunate and disheartening. I'm sorry you had to go through this and I hope the remainder of your orientation fulfills what you need to blossom on your own.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
HiFLmama. I agree with people who advised you to hang tight and let this blow over. I've had my share of dysfunctional people to deal with as well. Maybe two of them resulted in drastic action, and only one where I felt like the only option was to resign. I see reason for hope at least so far.
My main reason for that is your nurse educator switched you to a different preceptor without any argument. If you really had a target on your back, it's likely she would have questioned your interpretation of events or implied you might have caused the nurse to react that way.
You're already dealing with the gossip by refusing to add fuel to fire either way. You can be perfectly pleasant about it. Whatever power trip this person is on doesn't mean the toadies don't notice who was the better person in the whole incident.
After a while, you may find there's a limit on how much abuse her messengers are willing to dish out at the instigation of your former preceptor.
You should. This was after she posted a "goodbye forever" thread and called all of here turds because she didn't like the responses she got on another thread. An unexpected internet flounce. Yikes!
Wow. People should really honor their "forever" goodbyes...
I had to switch preceptors as a new graduate for the same reason. Just ignore it and become competent at your job.
You're doing the right thing by not discussing it ...and if she's as horrible as you say, not everybody likes her as much as they might seem to. Be professionally pleasant to her "crew" and judge each individual on their own merits. Not everybody has the inner strength to shut down someone they disagree with. They might just go along because they're not sure what else to do.
Best advice, in my opinion. This is an important lesson because you will encounter this problem from time to time. These "mean girl" types are not open to reasoning and professional conversation. It is just a waste of your breath and gives them something more to gossip about.
you did the right thing in asking to be switched to a different preceptor. You are also doing the exact right thing in not engaging in gossip about why you switched. Just ignore the old preceptor's gossip. Hospitals are notorious for this type of gossip and back-stabbing. But just know that all the other staff knows the reputation of gossipy nurse. They do not yet know you very well. So make a good impression, do your job well, befriend your new preceptor and impress him/her. The drama and gossip will dissipate as you make your own name for yourself.
Hi OP... I'm so sorry to hear you're going through what you're experiencing. I'm going through the same thing with my preceptor as well. I felt like an absolute bother when I report to my unit. I was never fast enough, or right enough. In fact, when I did do things right, she took credit for it. The thing that kept me going was that I knew orientation would end eventually and I can be on my own. There are some things I found out that help me with my attitude and mind-set. I knew I wanted to be a good and safe nurse - no amount of rushing was going to make me abandon that mentality. I thought, if my preceptor wasn't going to be patient with me, I will be patient with me and will get faster with nursing skills in time. Another thing I found out, because there were so many feedback from orientees at my hospital that they were given attitude that they were a bother, was all the preceptors at the hospitals were not trained to be preceptors. Their experience was enough for the hospital to give them an orientees - but never considered that these nurses actually did not want to train, were not paid for their preceptor services, and in turn exerted lateral and downward pressure due to their additional responsibilities. In my experience talking privately with my preceptor, practiced the sandwich technique of feedback (give good feedback, then bad, then good again), she took it personally and actually complained about me. At the end of the day, as long as my patients (and my families) were safe and happy, I was ok with it. Lastly, I got good tips on what not to do when I become a preceptor myself. Hang in there.
P.S. There will always be people who gossip... I just walk away. :)
I think we might have had the same preceptor. Lol Or same type of preceptor. Then the next one was bad but in a different way. Now I'm on my third one and it has made a huge difference! But yeah I was miserable and wanted to quit when I was with the bad preceptors.
I want to thank everyone who commented and for your words of encouragement and advice. Truly, it made a difference in my perspective. Also wanted to give a quick update...I've kept my mouth shut with my subsequent preceptors about my original preceptor. However, interestingly enough, each one of them have "heard it through the grapevine" about my request to change. Every single one of them said they weren't surprised I had requested a change because of her behavior. They all know. All I said in response was that my learning style wasn't a match, which, in essence, is true. Although the job is incredibly stressful and demanding, the environment is supportive and that's made all the difference since I've changed preceptors. Thank you to everyone, again!
OP - continue on your present course. You are very wise to have gotten someone with whom you "click". And just let the matter with your first preceptor die down. I think it probably will. I couldn't agree more with the above diagnosis that not all who seem to be her toadies actually believe she is the sun and moon.
Forge ahead. Before you know it, you'll be a preceptor and be able to pass on your skills, abilities, and knowledge.
I would just stick it out now. You've explained enough. Don't gossip at all to anyone. Just learn as much as you can. This job is a stepping stone, try to use it as such.
With the gossip, you could politely say that you don't like to indulge in it. If you think your other preceptor is talking behind your back, I would speak with her directly and tell her to stop doing that. I firmly believe that in most cases if a person in a workplace acts like a responsible, respectful adult they will get the same in return. It sets an example of what should be done.
Those very awkward conversations and experiences are what help us grow and the discomfort will pass. Catch her privately and say "don't gossip behind my back, it's rude and I don't like it" "it's wrong to gossip and say mean things about people and it's highschool behavior, were out of highschool now, right?".
CalicoKitty, BSN, MSN, RN
1,017 Posts
It was deleted rather quickly. And yes, she ripped into you, too, in that thread. And newgradnurse.