New Grad changes Preceptor. Help!

37changes, ASN, RN · Dec 1, 2018

I'd ask to speak to your previous preceptor privately when she has a few minutes. And I'd have the conversation that you likely should have had in the first place.

Explain to her that you felt like you were bothering her with your constant questions and lack of speed. Don't make it about her -- make it about you. Like it or not, you're the new kid on the block... and you need to just address this and clear the air, so you both can move on and you can all work well together as a team.

Sour Lemon · Dec 1, 2018

I'm a new grad nurse. I was assigned to a preceptor who gossiped about everyone, was nasty to patients, but at the same time very possessive of her patients. Just a few examples of her behavior; when passing meds, I was never going fast enough, so she'd butt in and do it herself because I was so slow. Hello? I'm going slow because I'm new and I want to be accurate and safe! I would ask questions constantly and she'd either ignore me or give me some smart retort. When showing me how to chart, she'd say, "Click here, then here, then here." Never a thorough explanation of what the heck was going on. It was brutal. I was learning nothing! I finally went to my nurse educator and asked to be switched to a different preceptor. She switched me with no problem; however, now the previous preceptor is (of course) gossiping about me and rallying her crew of toadies. A few nurses have asked me what happened, but I never say a word about the person. I just say that I needed a schedule change and leave it at that. I don't want the drama, but I have unfortunately found myself in it! I'm at the point that I just want to quit and find another job. This is insane. I'm stressed out not only because I feel so ill-prepared to care for patients, but in addition to having a target on my back now that I spoke up about the situation. But I had to do something because I was learning nothing!! Can someone help with some words of encouragement or advice or something? I don't know what to do. My personal life is suffering because I can't seem to let go of the worry. I hate the thought of having to go back there Monday.

I had to switch preceptors as a new graduate for the same reason. Just ignore it and become competent at your job.

You're doing the right thing by not discussing it ...and if she's as horrible as you say, not everybody likes her as much as they might seem to. Be professionally pleasant to her "crew" and judge each individual on their own merits. Not everybody has the inner strength to shut down someone they disagree with. They might just go along because they're not sure what else to do.

AnnieOaklyRN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 1, 2018

Welcome to nursing they are all witches

Wuzzie · Dec 1, 2018

Welcome to nursing they are all witches

Don't take this comment to heart OP. This particular poster seems to be having a bad day.

MOmama · Dec 1, 2018

37changes I did speak with her privately on more than one occasion to address what I needed as a preceptee. I wouldn't wait to express a concern (always out of a patient's room, of course). I even thanked her for her patience, which I knew darn well she wasn't patient with me. I took all of the appropriate steps until finally I had to go above her to enact a change.

MOmama · Dec 1, 2018

Sour Lemon, Thank you for your encouragement. I keep saying to myself; learn what you need to learn and then move on. Easier said than done sometimes. And you're exactly right, not everybody has the inner strength to shut down someone they disagree with. This person has a strong, albeit, negative personality. Those who gravitated towards her seemed to share in that energy.

adventure_rn, MSN, NP · Dec 2, 2018

I've had a similar experience with two preceptors in the past; in one instance (as a new grad) I switched, and in the other, I stuck it out. The reality is, if this person's been around on the unit long enough, people probably already know about her weaknesses as a preceptor. In the case of each of my 'dud' preceptors, I learned after the fact that they'd been 'fired' from precepting several times, or they'd been 'volun-told' to precept even though they actively didn't want to. She may be talking badly about you to deflect attention away from the fact that she was unsuccessful in the precepting role; frankly, even if her friends seem to agree with her on the surface, they're probably aware of the reality. Once you become closer to people on the unit, you may find that your coworkers actually empathize with you having to put up with her nonsense (again, speaking from experience).

As others have said, as hard as it may be, just try to focus on moving forward and not worry about her. If people bug you about it, you could also say that the two of you weren't a good fit; it gives you an opportunity to talk about her strengths, but point out how they're different from your learning style.

Davey Do · Dec 2, 2018

Welcome to nursing they are all witches

Don't take this comment to heart OP. This particular poster seems to be having a bad day.

I chuckled when I read AnnieOakly's post.

I thought she was being absurd.

AnnieOakly- should I take back my Like?

Wuzzie · Dec 2, 2018

I chuckled when I read AnnieOakly's post.
I thought she was being absurd.
AnnieOakly- should I take back my Like?

You should. This was after she posted a "goodbye forever" thread and called all of here turds because she didn't like the responses she got on another thread. An unexpected internet flounce. Yikes!

amzyRN · Dec 2, 2018

I would just stick it out now. You've explained enough. Don't gossip at all to anyone. Just learn as much as you can. This job is a stepping stone, try to use it as such.

With the gossip, you could politely say that you don't like to indulge in it. If you think your other preceptor is talking behind your back, I would speak with her directly and tell her to stop doing that. I firmly believe that in most cases if a person in a workplace acts like a responsible, respectful adult they will get the same in return. It sets an example of what should be done.

Those very awkward conversations and experiences are what help us grow and the discomfort will pass. Catch her privately and say "don't gossip behind my back, it's rude and I don't like it" "it's wrong to gossip and say mean things about people and it's highschool behavior, were out of highschool now, right?".

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 2, 2018

You should. This was after she posted a "goodbye forever" thread and called all of here turds because she didn't like the responses she got on another thread. An unexpected internet flounce. Yikes!

How did I miss that? I caught the ones where she ripped into me, but I missed the flounce. Dang!