So my mother has been in the hospital since Saturday night. They have done a few ekg's, an echo, an ultrasound, ct scan, stress test, etc. and found she had fluid surrounding her left lung. They did a procedure to remove it yesterday and sent it down to the lab. Let me tell you, my mother is a nurse's nightmare! She is constantly crabby, short, and just overall rude to pretty much all the staff there (i'll get back to her in a second.)
The pt. Next to her was an old lady, not fully aware of what was going on, but aware enough to know basic stuff (like if she was hungry, or cold, or needed to go to the bathroom, etc.) Anyway this little old lady had a male RN providing for her, and I really couldn't believe how inconsiderate he was. When she needed a diaper change, which seemed to be like every hour, he would come and do it. The problem is, is that she stated VERY clearly that she wasn't comfortable with him doing it. But he did it anyway. Also, when moving her, he seemed very rough with her (she weighed no more than 100lbs, and he was pulling 250 easilly.) Her privacy was never respected, and walking by I ended up seeing her nude more times than I can count. I even walked in to the room while she was getting a diaper change, and the nurse didnt even bother closing the curtains. I ended up closing them, but he just opened them as soon as I did.
Now the problem I have with my mom is that after seeing this she has automatically generalized all male nurses to be like this man. And is not quiet about it. I just about died yesterday, when her nurse came in and said her shift was ending and that "chris" will be taking over. This was her response. "a man? I hate male nurses. He is NOT touching me." I was so embarassed, and I could see the shocked look on the RN's face. I'm really not surprised though. My mother is a very blunt woman, and she's sick so I understand her frustration about being there in general.
I guess what I'm wondering is have you experienced a patient like my mother? How did you handle it? How would you handle an extreme personality like hers? I told her that she would be my nightmare patient, and she just laughed it off, but I'm so serious.
Also, what would you do if you saw the treatment the other patient was getting? I feel really bad that I didn't speak up (that isnt like me at all.) I know it's probably frustrating, as a man, to be told that someone isn't comfortable with you doing certain things. But shouldn't you just brush it off? These aren't animals, they are people, and we need to respect their wishes, regardless of how it makes you feel.
Sorry, just needed to rant. It has been a looooong weekend.
Being a student, we have quite a few really young students. I seen some patients refuse to have a 19yr old help clean them up or assist with their ADL's. But the same patient has no problem with me (41yrs old) providing the same care. Personally speaking, I would not want a male nurse assisting me with my ADL's if needed. I also have women doctors because I am just more comfortable with them. As we continue to have more guys enter the nursing profession, this may be a recurrent issue with some patients.
As far as the patient in the next bed.... from the sounds of it, the nurse is not providing care in an appropriate manner. Privacy should be an expectation for patients and gentle handling of the patient is needed. I know that some of the replies have stated that you do not have any business reporting this to the NM but I disagree. I would bring it up in a non-judgemental way and express your concern for the patient. I'm assuming that she does not have family present or this would not be happening. If the patient is being treated this way, how likely is she to express her needs if she feels like she is being man-handled and disrespected.
Your mother.... She is exactly the type of patient that I love. Cranky and outspoken is just too funny. Normally, we get along just fine. Everyone reacts to the stress of a hospital in their own way. I find patients that are a handful to be a hoot.
I have cared for many patient's with extreme personalities. The way I handle them is to simply pretend like I don't realize they are being rude. I never feed into that! I am polite and respectful the same as with any other patient. I ignore any rude comments they may make such as it took you forever, where have you been, your the worst nurse I have ever seen etc.
If a patient does not want something, I do not argue, I just simply state why we would like them to do it (this is to prevent DVT's, help you breathe better etc.) but if they continue to refuse I just say o.k. that is your right. I have witnessed many a colleague attempt to argue, beg, plead, and even wheel and deal with patient's. It seems to just make people angrier.
If a patient is being abusive, yelling or attempting to hit, I tell them they cannot do that and that I will come back when they have regained composure (unless of course they are not A&O). If they state a staffing preference I attempt to honor it if possible but there have been plenty of times when I have not been able to and have explained this to patient's. They may not be happy but they seem to get over it.
I actually love cantankerous older people. lol. Some of the things they say just cracks me up.
Regarding the nurse you witnessed, I think I would either speak to that nurse directly i.e. don't you think you should pull that curtain before you change her brief? etc. or address your concerns with the unit manager. This type of treatment is not limited to male nurses, I have seen many female RN's and aides handle patient's roughly or not protect their dignity.
Unless that nurse becomes your mother's nurse and starts providing poor care you have no business telling his manager about what you've seen him do with a different patient who has nothing to do with you. There might be a reasons for his actions that you as an outsider are not aware of.[/quote']
I disagree. If someone is being mistreated and can't speak up for themselves, someone needs to. She clearly said she did not want him to change her diaper and he did it anyway. Not only was this a violation of patient privacy, but a lack of respect for his patients wishes. He needs a wake up call. My mom has grown fond of this old lady these last few days, and she finally had enough. She made a complaint today on the ladies behalf. (the lady, as far as i have seen, has not had ANY visitors to do this for her.)
Anyway, maybe with being reprimanded, he will learn to treat people how he would like to be treated.
Certainly if a patient wishes a different gender nurse and can be accommodated that should happen. And I would speak up if a patient's privacy was violated.
But I have taken care of patients who didn't want anyone to change them and that just can't happen, of course.
Good for your Mom! She must be feeling better! Great news! (coming from a girl who's Mom--who is LOVELY usually--dragged me with her to the MD office and was freaking and jumping about due to what she thought was a tick on her. Love the woman, but honestly......)
With all of the Press Gainey stuff and tied to reimbursements, etc. and et al, most NM are pleased when someone, be it a visitor or family member, gives them a heads up. Then they have an opportunity to correct it prior to the patient discharge and they get a poor review in the dignity and respect department. But at the end of the day, it is just the right thing to do. Being naked and getting peri care in full view of the hall is degrading, demeaning, and the nurse needs some re-education.
There was also a very awesome nurse who stood up for my mother yesterday. She was fasting for a stress test since the night before. They took her at about noon to go have a scan and then get ready for the stress test. The cardiologist was supposed to be there by 1245. My mother was on the table and waiting by 1230. At about 130, the cardiologist still hadn't arrived, the nurse called him on his cell phone and gave him an earful! Apparantly she said "Where are you? You were suppised to be here almost an hour ago! My patient has been laying here and she's hungry! Hurry up!" Lol I guess he was there not 2 minutes later. This brought me great joy to hear and I thanked her the next time I saw her.
I disagree. If someone is being mistreated and can't speak up for themselves, someone needs to. She clearly said she did not want him to change her diaper and he did it anyway. Not only was this a violation of patient privacy, but a lack of respect for his patients wishes. He needs a wake up call. My mom has grown fond of this old lady these last few days, and she finally had enough. She made a complaint today on the ladies behalf. (the lady, as far as i have seen, has not had ANY visitors to do this for her.)
Anyway, maybe with being reprimanded, he will learn to treat people how he would like to be treated.
Are you *positive* that this patient was not confused or had a history of being resistive to care? You said she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. That means her judgment is impaired. One night she might not want a male nurse changing her, the next night she might not want black people changing her. Who knows. A confused patient really has no say in the matter of wanting to be left in a pile of stool.
The big thing for me in the OP was the fact that he (the op) closed the curtain, and the nurse opened it and continued with care, so not ok.
Are you *positive* that this patient was not confused or had a history of being resistive to care? You said she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. That means her judgment is impaired. One night she might not want a male nurse changing her, the next night she might not want black people changing her. Who knows. A confused patient really has no say in the matter of wanting to be left in a pile of stool.
Are you *positive* that this patient was not confused or had a history of being resistive to care? You said she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. That means her judgment is impaired. One night she might not want a male nurse changing her, the next night she might not want black people changing her. Who knows. A confused patient really has no say in the matter of wanting to be left in a pile of stool.
Does being confused make it ok to be left exposed for anyone walking by to see?
Are you *positive* that this patient was not confused or had a history of being resistive to care? You said she wasn't fully aware of what was going on. That means her judgment is impaired. One night she might not want a male nurse changing her, the next night she might not want black people changing her. Who knows. A confused patient really has no say in the matter of wanting to be left in a pile of stool.
No i cannot be sure of that. But regardless of whether she was fully coherent or not, she clearly said she did not want him to change her. He made no attempt to see if she would be ok with someone else. That is what bugged me most about it.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
Does being confused make it ok to be left exposed for anyone walking by to see?
No. I think beyond mom's situation it still needs to be addressed for that reason alone. I am the last person to "snitch" on someone, but there is no excuse for that and it needs to change.
No. I think beyond mom's situation it still needs to be addressed for that reason alone. I am the last person to "snitch" on someone, but there is no excuse for that and it needs to change.
For me, that's what needs to be discussed with the NM. It is not only disrespectful to the patient (especially if the patient is delirious/demented) but it made other patients uncomfortable.
PalmHarborMom
255 Posts
Being a student, we have quite a few really young students. I seen some patients refuse to have a 19yr old help clean them up or assist with their ADL's. But the same patient has no problem with me (41yrs old) providing the same care. Personally speaking, I would not want a male nurse assisting me with my ADL's if needed. I also have women doctors because I am just more comfortable with them. As we continue to have more guys enter the nursing profession, this may be a recurrent issue with some patients.
As far as the patient in the next bed.... from the sounds of it, the nurse is not providing care in an appropriate manner. Privacy should be an expectation for patients and gentle handling of the patient is needed. I know that some of the replies have stated that you do not have any business reporting this to the NM but I disagree. I would bring it up in a non-judgemental way and express your concern for the patient. I'm assuming that she does not have family present or this would not be happening. If the patient is being treated this way, how likely is she to express her needs if she feels like she is being man-handled and disrespected.
Your mother.... She is exactly the type of patient that I love. Cranky and outspoken is just too funny. Normally, we get along just fine. Everyone reacts to the stress of a hospital in their own way. I find patients that are a handful to be a hoot.