Need to vent...

That is awful.

I think I would have either spoken to him directly about it or stopped by the NM office and given my impression. It could be that he doesn't even understand how he is coming off and needs to be reminded.

So sorry your mom had to witness this.

Yeah I think I will say something today after my mother wakes up. Most of the nurses here are really nice. I've been here for 3 days now so I'm starting to get to know the staff. I keep apologizing to them for my mother. She is usually a pleasant person, but I guess when you find out you have liver disease and congestive heart failure you might be a bit bitter for a while as well....

Please so say something to the NM. The male nurse needs to get his act together.

He's not a Male Nurse, he's a nurse who happens to be male. He needs to be held to the same standard as any nurse. It sounds like he is rude, rough, and not following the Standards of Care. You should write down some specific examples of his behavior and speak to the boss. Hope your Mom gets better soon.

It is just a "nurse" no matter which gender acting like that is not ok............

It is just a "nurse" no matter which gender acting like that is not ok............

I know this. But I specified which gender because of the circumstances. And how after my mother witnessed a nurse, who is male, treat their patient that way, she did not want care from a nurse, who was male.

I got that. And your mom could have felt that way about male nurses before that or maybe only when she saw that. I guess my point would be that I feel we should accommodate when possible those preferences, and in this case specifically your mothers request.

My point though was that this type of behavior can happen with any gender nurse and needs to be addressed because it is unacceptable no matter what gender.

I got that. And your mom could have felt that way about male nurses before that or maybe only when she saw that. I guess my point would be that I feel we should accommodate when possible those preferences, and in this case specifically your mothers request.

My point though was that this type of behavior can happen with any gender nurse and needs to be addressed because it is unacceptable no matter what gender.

Yeah I agree. Just so you know though, I wasn't trying to say this just happened with men in nursing. I was just talking about this instance.

First of all, I hope your Mom gets better. Secondly, I agree with previous posters about talking to the NM. I don't care what gender you are, treating patients with respect and guarding their privacy is all of our duties. You could simply say to NM I witnessed XYZ and do not want this nurse taking care of my mother... wouldn't hurt to add that you are a nurse and appalled at the treatment!!!

Being a man has nothing to do with it. I have seen plenty of male and femqle nurses completely opposite from what you described.As a logical person i know that but most people seem to be lacking in that. If a pt says they do not want male caregivers on my floor we tend to follow that BUT i do not know the legalities of that with regards to gender discrimination.

As for pts that act as you describe your mom, i kill them with kindness, most of them love it. Or i completely ignore their comments. I go in tell them what i am there for and that is it. They can agree or refuse . , or turn their sarcastic, rude phrases back on them by using their phrases. ( rarely if ever done at work as this can really set some off) . Some shifts most pts are like this so as a nurse or in any customer service job you just learn to ignore this. rarely affects me. i am only there 13 hrs! The killing them with kindness or not feeding into them when they are yelling etc works on most people.

Unless that nurse becomes your mother's nurse and starts providing poor care, you have no business telling his manager about what you've seen him do with a different patient who has nothing to do with you. There might be a reasons for his actions that you as an outsider are not aware of.

Being a student, we have quite a few really young students. I seen some patients refuse to have a 19yr old help clean them up or assist with their ADL's. But the same patient has no problem with me (41yrs old) providing the same care. Personally speaking, I would not want a male nurse assisting me with my ADL's if needed. I also have women doctors because I am just more comfortable with them. As we continue to have more guys enter the nursing profession, this may be a recurrent issue with some patients.

As far as the patient in the next bed.... from the sounds of it, the nurse is not providing care in an appropriate manner. Privacy should be an expectation for patients and gentle handling of the patient is needed. I know that some of the replies have stated that you do not have any business reporting this to the NM but I disagree. I would bring it up in a non-judgemental way and express your concern for the patient. I'm assuming that she does not have family present or this would not be happening. If the patient is being treated this way, how likely is she to express her needs if she feels like she is being man-handled and disrespected.

Your mother.... She is exactly the type of patient that I love. Cranky and outspoken is just too funny. Normally, we get along just fine. Everyone reacts to the stress of a hospital in their own way. I find patients that are a handful to be a hoot.