So my mother has been in the hospital since Saturday night. They have done a few ekg's, an echo, an ultrasound, ct scan, stress test, etc. and found she had fluid surrounding her left lung. They did a procedure to remove it yesterday and sent it down to the lab. Let me tell you, my mother is a nurse's nightmare! She is constantly crabby, short, and just overall rude to pretty much all the staff there (i'll get back to her in a second.)
The pt. Next to her was an old lady, not fully aware of what was going on, but aware enough to know basic stuff (like if she was hungry, or cold, or needed to go to the bathroom, etc.) Anyway this little old lady had a male RN providing for her, and I really couldn't believe how inconsiderate he was. When she needed a diaper change, which seemed to be like every hour, he would come and do it. The problem is, is that she stated VERY clearly that she wasn't comfortable with him doing it. But he did it anyway. Also, when moving her, he seemed very rough with her (she weighed no more than 100lbs, and he was pulling 250 easilly.) Her privacy was never respected, and walking by I ended up seeing her nude more times than I can count. I even walked in to the room while she was getting a diaper change, and the nurse didnt even bother closing the curtains. I ended up closing them, but he just opened them as soon as I did.
Now the problem I have with my mom is that after seeing this she has automatically generalized all male nurses to be like this man. And is not quiet about it. I just about died yesterday, when her nurse came in and said her shift was ending and that "chris" will be taking over. This was her response. "a man? I hate male nurses. He is NOT touching me." I was so embarassed, and I could see the shocked look on the RN's face. I'm really not surprised though. My mother is a very blunt woman, and she's sick so I understand her frustration about being there in general.
I guess what I'm wondering is have you experienced a patient like my mother? How did you handle it? How would you handle an extreme personality like hers? I told her that she would be my nightmare patient, and she just laughed it off, but I'm so serious.
Also, what would you do if you saw the treatment the other patient was getting? I feel really bad that I didn't speak up (that isnt like me at all.) I know it's probably frustrating, as a man, to be told that someone isn't comfortable with you doing certain things. But shouldn't you just brush it off? These aren't animals, they are people, and we need to respect their wishes, regardless of how it makes you feel.
Sorry, just needed to rant. It has been a looooong weekend.
It's quite common to not bother drawing a curtain if its very late at night and the visitors are basically all gone and the patient is somewhat confused, depending on the culture of the workplace. It isn't your place to try and change that culture. Rather, if you take issue with it, then you may want to ask a different hospital to service your wishes. And was he leaving the curtain open every time or did you just see it this once? Are you sure you aren't offended that he undrew the curtain after you drew it? You could have asked "May I draw the curtain?" and he may have replied affirmatively and even thank you for reminding him. Instead, you made a different choice.
As to the gender issue, maybe the other female nurses were overwrought with their own assignments and he couldn't reasonably ask one of them to change a patient for him. Doing so is time consuming and leaving someone in stool simply isn't an option.
I disagree. If someone is being mistreated and can't speak up for themselves, someone needs to. She clearly said she did not want him to change her diaper and he did it anyway. Not only was this a violation of patient privacy, but a lack of respect for his patients wishes. He needs a wake up call. My mom has grown fond of this old lady these last few days, and she finally had enough. She made a complaint today on the ladies behalf. (the lady, as far as i have seen, has not had ANY visitors to do this for her.)
Anyway, maybe with being reprimanded, he will learn to treat people how he would like to be treated.
Although its possible this patient says no to everyone wanting to change her, regardless of gender, but we simply cannot leave her be if she needs to be changed. Bad for her skin and all that.
That said, I agree that the issues with privacy and rough handling need to be reported.
Well she was admitted after my mother, so i doubt he knew her too well. She gets her care at home, but needed to be admitted. I know this because her regular nurse came by to check on her. Regardless, I really hope when I'm old that I have a nurse that listens to me. Even if I'm somewhat out of it... She wasnt completely demented.
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It is possible he does know her well. We have many patients we see for frequent admissions and even if she hadnt been there long this time, many staff will be very familiar with her. Still no excuse for the curtain issue though. I fully agree with you there.
It's quite common to not bother drawing a curtain if its very late at night and the visitors are basically all gone and the patient is somewhat confused, depending on the culture of the workplace. It isn't your place to try and change that culture. Rather, if you take issue with it, then you may want to ask a different hospital to service your wishes. And was he leaving the curtain open every time or did you just see it this once? Are you sure you aren't offended that he undrew the curtain after you drew it? You could have asked "May I draw the curtain?" and he may have replied affirmatively and even thank you for reminding him. Instead, you made a different choice.
As to the gender issue, maybe the other female nurses were overwrought with their own assignments and he couldn't reasonably ask one of them to change a patient for him. Doing so is time consuming and leaving someone in stool simply isn't an option.
It was in the afternoon. Curtains should have been drawn. I was offended that he exposed her saggy breasts to the world! I really hope you don't treat your pts with this level of disrespect :/
I have to agree with a couple different points throughout this discussion, and disagree with a few as well. I disagree with the comment that stated to disregard this nurses behavior, as the actions were not directed towards your mother. I think that everyone in this profession needs to be a Patient Advocate. That does require standing up and reporting things that you feel are not appropriate in any persons care. We are all working towards a common goal, patient improvement and comfort. I hope you did speak with the NM about this nurses care of this patient, so he can correct his actions.
I also need to disagree with the person who questioned if the patient was just a difficult patient to deal with. Who in this profession can honestly say they have never had to work with a difficult patient? I know I cannot. That does not change my treatment plan of my patients. I am never more forceful with difficult patients, as they all deserve respect and comfort. We see people in the worst times of their lives, and I don't expect them to always be the most respectful and pleasant beings.
I agree with all of the nurses who respect and honor the patient's dignity, and the major thing they picked up on was the fact that the nurse failed (repeatedly) to close the curtain while doing perineal care. I think this is a major issue, that does need to be addressed. This is just a complete lack of respect for the patient, as well as the other patient and family in the room. I applaud you for seeing the issue with this, and I do hope you took this to appropriate persons within the organization to have these types of behavior changed.
I am about to go off on a personal tangent, and for that I apologize. But, I have a very serious issue with the one person who commented that all of the male nurses she worked with all exhibited this type of behavior, and that it is a gender based issue. First off, I do question how long you have worked in this profession, as well as where you have worked (one place for your entire career?). I have worked in multiple hospitals in my short career in this profession, in multiple specialties throughout the nursing field, from emergency, to critical care, to medical-surgical nursing floors. I do take this comment very personally, as a male nurse, because I see this as a very large assumption of male nurses, based on a very small encounter. I am not saying that all male nurses are the best providers, but can anyone say that they have not seen female nurses act in this way. Questioning someones compassion based on gender is just not acceptable. I have worked with many male nurses I would not let take care of me or my family, but I can say the same thing with some female nurses who I have worked with. I can also say that I would love to have some of my male colleagues be the people taking care of me if I needed it.
Gender has absolutely nothing to do with this topic. I think the issue at had is compassion, patient advocacy and respect.
Thank You for your time. I hope your mother is doing better. I just hope that this encounter has not tainted your mothers views completely of all men in this field.
I am appalled at the person who seems to keep defending the bad behavior of the male nurse who is the center of this discussion. Confused or not when a patient makes enough sense to say she doesn't want to be changed by a male he could have attempted to find a female caregiver to change her. It is her right to have privacy and dignity preserved in that way. Also just because a patient may have a history of being difficult doesn't make it okay to mistreat them. Sheesh for every wrong the nurse does the poster has a rebuttal for why he may have done it. What!!! It is wrong there is no good reason for why he did what he did. Sure we don't know all of the specifics but from the account of the family member on the other side of the curtain all of his actions look horribly wrong.
It's quite common to not bother drawing a curtain if its very late at night and the visitors are basically all gone and the patient is somewhat confused...
Are you actually suggesting that if a patient is delirious/demented it is ok to not treat them with dignity or respect?
RNdynamic
528 Posts
It's quite common to not bother drawing a curtain if its very late at night and the visitors are basically all gone and the patient is somewhat confused, depending on the culture of the workplace. It isn't your place to try and change that culture. Rather, if you take issue with it, then you may want to ask a different hospital to service your wishes. And was he leaving the curtain open every time or did you just see it this once? Are you sure you aren't offended that he undrew the curtain after you drew it? You could have asked "May I draw the curtain?" and he may have replied affirmatively and even thank you for reminding him. Instead, you made a different choice.
As to the gender issue, maybe the other female nurses were overwrought with their own assignments and he couldn't reasonably ask one of them to change a patient for him. Doing so is time consuming and leaving someone in stool simply isn't an option.