i need to get out of this

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Feb 9, 2004

I completely agree with you lakers. She could have made a different policy that if you miss more than 4 weekend days you have to make it up or have an MD note. Or something completely differnt, nailing the offenders. It's too bad you were pushed so hard when the problem was not of your doing.

Rapheal · Feb 9, 2004

I felt like that for the first 6 months of nursing. I still am not happy where I am but it is manageable. Every day I used to feel a sense of dread before going in to work. I hope things get better for you.

Trauma Columnist · Feb 9, 2004

Want to extend hugs too! Sometimes nursing is a very difficult place to be. Like someone else said - if you know in your heart its not for you - cut your losses and go on. But first...analyze the situation - what don't you like? Then head in a different direction. There are many, many areas of nursing.

orrnlori, RN · Feb 9, 2004

Wow, I read your post and that was me, right out of school working in a trauma step down unit. I prayed I'd have a car wreck on the way to work every day. I feel your pain. I did it for 7 months then was accepted into the OR nurse internship at the university hospital and have been in the OR for the last 5 years. Huge difference in everything!!!!! It was tough to learn but my, what a difference in everything about my attitude in nursing. Had I stayed in the unit I would no longer be a nurse. Maybe you can find another avenue in nursing like I did. I like the OR, only one patient and they are unconscous, everyone is centered on one task, anethesia is there if something goes wrong with the patient, scrubbing is FUN, doctors appreciate you more and know you can make their lives hell if they act up, a good sisterhood where you are less likely to be eaten by the older nurses. Best wishes to you, I hope you can stick this out until you find where you fit.

mattsmom81 · Feb 9, 2004

Just wanted to give you a hug. I have days I feel the same. I've also gone down a few bad roads and said 'no this isn't for me'.

Take some time, do some soul searching, be good to yourself.

Sometimes the problem is the people, the shift, or the whole shebang. It isn't an easy job, I've been fortunate that critical care is my 'niche' where I can tolerate the other stuff that gets to me.

Hope you find some peace and feel better whatever you decide.

:kiss

OCCHCanada · Feb 9, 2004

I was very happy for several years working on the burn and reconstructive surgery unit. Then after 12 years, a new manager came on board with very questionable management skills. I lasted one year with her and realized that my HATE for work was affecting my patient care, my marriage and my sanity.

I remember very clearly crying before leaving for work everyday. I could also not sleep and would go to work with less than 2-3 hours of sleep each night - less on night rotations. "Wishing for a car wreck" could have been my motto!

My saving grace was job posting for research coordinator with a university based research group. With no experience, no degree and no idea what the job entailed - I got the job. I'm no longer there, but the experience was awesome and opened doors for me. I'm now very happy as a Occupational Health nurse (again hired with no experience or education), but I always tell the hiring manager that I love challenges.

My $0.02 worth - step outside your comfort zone and try another aspect of nursing. Even out of the hospital if you can.

Best of luck

Rapheal · Feb 10, 2004

Originally posted by OCCHCanada
My $0.02 worth - step outside your comfort zone and try another aspect of nursing. Even out of the hospital if you can.

Best of luck

Great advice.:)

MelissaRN · Feb 10, 2004

I do understand how you feel. I just graduated in May 2003 and there are days when I'm just so afraid to go to work. I worry about messing up and I worry that my co-workers think I'm an idiot if I don't do something right. It's scary. Worst of all the shift that comes in after is always on the look out for mistakes. Not to help the person learn but to be able to call someone on something to make themselves look better.

I am feeling better day by day as I learn more. It's really good to find someone that's been there awhile that can be a mentor. They are definately someone that will go to bat for you. It's definately a good idea to voice your fears and concerns.

There was a time last fall when I was contemplating leaving my position there because I was so constantly worried. I went to see a stress management counselor who told me to stick it out at least a year until I'm more settled and have a better idea of how it's going to work out there. Also after having my first employee evaluation eased my mind a bit too.

Good luck to you.

New CCU RN · Feb 11, 2004

Wow. I just wanted to thank you all for your comments... they are very much appreciated.... I have been trying to think of specific things that I don't like about my current position and this is what I have come up with

-lack of teamwork on the unit

-very low morale

-inflexible scheduling

-schedule does not come out until a week before (then it is a whole month but every month you wait until a week before to know what you are working next week)

-feel a lack of autonomy in my position as a nurse

-the frequency that i encounter poor care given by a previous nurse ie)dressings not being changed, iv's being expired, stat orders not being given ... it seems like i spend the first two hours of my shift picking up others slack.....everyday

-constant chaos on the unit

-the fact that they call me everyday to see if i want to work OT

-lack of ancillary help... we frequently don't have a unit clerk or tech

-attitudes by ancillary help when they are there....i have been told by a tech he is not a bath boy when i asked him to help me change a patients sheets

-excessively needy families...... i can deal w/ the needy patients and i know that the family in a way are also your patients, when it takes away from my other patient bc they are sooo needy, that is where a line needs to be drawn

All of these smaller things have seemed to be adding up to my dislike of nursing.. and I do believe that it is most likely not nursing in and of itself but more the environment that I am in......

The things I do like are

-the fast pace of the ICU

-the learning which lately I have become a little bored

-taking care of critical patients

-feeling like I actually helped someone

-learning the phys behind what is going on

I do think that a unit change is in order. My original plan was to start doing a travelling assignment back home in Rhode Island where my family is and start something new and fresh... It is Feb now so I pray I can make it til then... after the three months I do want to return to the same hospital (it is a great hosp I think my issues are unit specific and maybe try the PACU or STICU we will see) Ultimately my goal is CRNA school and I think I may also be a little down because that is where I really want to be but right now my FI is in grad school and we will have no income if we both are in school at the same time....

Thank you for listening to my vents... it feels better just to get it off my chest...

V. Nightingale · Feb 11, 2004

Wow, you sound utterly miserable! I'm so sorry that you're having a tough time with your job. Believe me, most nurses have felt the exact same way at one point or another.

It doesn't sound like you hate nursing; it sounds like you hate the job you're in right now. Listen carefully: NOT ALL NURSING UNITS ARE LIKE THAT!! If you're that unhappy, I suggest you consider changing units. Jobs DO exist where nurses work together, have techs and clerks on the unit, and people actually do what they're supposed to. Frankly, your unit sounds like it is suffering from a severe lack of leadership and I wouldn't blame you for leaving. [shameless plug] Have you considered the ER? Looking at your list of "likes", you'd probably love it. [/shameless plug]

I don't know how long you've been nursing, but for me, it took about 6 months to get really comfortable in my first job. Give yourself a chance to get used to things before you bail on nursing altogether. There's too few good nurses out there as it stands, and we don't want to lose another one!

I hope things get better for you. Remember that you've got a whole community of folks here cheering for you!

Noney · Feb 11, 2004

Don't be to quick to give up on nursing. There are so many different things you can do in nursing. Please tell us what you hate about it. What is frustrating to you?

Noney

heart queen · Feb 13, 2004

WoW, there is alot running amuck where you are!.. Huge challenges if you stay. this sounds like corny BS, but I really do believe in it, and yes, I try to practice this way, emphasis on try... but here it is;

-scheduling, no control over other than offering to start a nurse drive scheduling committee to take it off the managers hands

-team work, be a team player, even though you butt is being burnt, help, help help, you never know who will have your back, after you've protected others by your help.

-shoddy care on your shift, "I have a few minutes to help turn your patient". heck, they all are our patients

- one person can make or break a unit, with negative morale, ignore it, never feed into it, "you're having a real bad day, what can I do?" I started calling our most volitile angry monster of an aide "sunshine" and jibe her with a smile that her sunny disposition is catchy, she now smiles at me and we laugh at her outbursts, which still come but calling he sunshine somehow ceases the endless tirades after she learned that I wasn't being sarcastic, just trying to put a smile on her face...

Yep it's all corny crap, and yes I really do these things because I know that if I stay positive, It's as catchy as the nastyness that circles around. I feel so much better about myself, and these negative people, which are EVERYWHERE bother me less and I've learned to find things that I like about them.