Need advice

MichaelSSSS · Jul 28, 2004

One of the hardest things in life is to finally realize that some people just can't be reached. Not that we don't try, but some will not change harmful behavior no matter how badly they need to or how much it might help their situation. All we can do is encourge them to try and help themselves. Sad but true.

Trauma Columnist · Jul 28, 2004

What a sad situation. How is she supporting these kids? Having a child is a priviledge, not a right and one shouldn't be getting pregnant indiscrimately. Birth control?

fairyprincess2003 · Jul 28, 2004

Hey guys/girls

thanks. To point out, she currently has one daughter and is back at home with her mother. She goes out a lot, and preaches about needing to have her life and fun, which I don;t understand because she always out having fun. She has been pregnant 5 times now, but has only had one full term baby. Three have been aborted previously and the fourth is due to aborted friday. I just feel sometimes that the laid back attitude of the media on abortion, and the almost image of these women being the victims caught in bad situations do not help the situation. I mean I seriously do not understand how someone can sleep unprotectedly with so many different men, then have total lack of regard for the life growing inside of them. Why can't she see that these are her children she is killing? I don't know what to do. I mean to happen over and over again. She needs to take the blame somewhere here you know what I mean. I do not want her to get rid of this child. This is someone very close to me.

will7678 · Jul 28, 2004

It sounds like you have done about all you can and this person really needs a change of heart. That is only going to come from god and all that you can do now is pray.

deja614 · Jul 28, 2004

What a sad, sad situation. My heart not only goes out to the littlest lives but to the young woman as well. From what I've read here, she may have some issues with self worth. I'm glad she has someone who does care for her, and I certainly hope you can bring her around. I will keep this young lady and her family in my thoughts...

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Jul 28, 2004

You choose life, she chooses abortion. It really isn't any of your business. Did she ask you for advice??

What I don't understand is how you can associate with someone who is so obviously does not share the same value for life. I mean, to use your words, you feel abortion is murder, so you are associated with a murderer!

There is no explanation for how someone can so callously abort children as a means of birth control. But frankly, I wouldn't wish such a selfish, self-centered person as a mother for any child.

That said, nothing surprises me. I have seen this lack of empathy in women having routine abortions before, and it is unsettling to say the least.

TexasPoodleMix · Jul 28, 2004

You choose life, she chooses abortion. It really isn't any of your business. Did she ask you for advice??
What I don't understand is how you can associate with someone who is so obviously does not share the same value for life. I mean, to use your words, you feel abortion is murder, so you are associated with a murderer!
There is no explanation for how someone can so callously abort children as a means of birth control. But frankly, I wouldn't wish such a selfish, self-centered person as a mother for any child.
That said, nothing surprises me. I have seen this lack of empathy in women having routine abortions before, and it is unsettling to say the least.

I agree for the most part. I don't know how or why women can have multiple abortions. It's so hard on the body and I can't imagine it would be healthy.

hypnotic_nurse · Jul 28, 2004

I've never understood the multiple abortions thing...isn't it cheaper and easier to just use birth control???

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 28, 2004

I agree with Hoolihan. I guess were it me, I would have to walk away. When values are THAT radically different, it would be hard for me to maintain an honest and open true friendship. You can't do a thing to change her thinking, you know. Right or wrong, she is an adult and it's up to her. You may just have to walk away if this bothers you that much. HUGS!!!

movealong · Jul 28, 2004

hey everyone
I really need some advice here and I don't know who to ask. Someone very close to me was a teenage mother (at age 17), her daughter is now 6. Since then she has had three abortions with three different men. Now she is pregnant again and at first was not going to have another one, but now is set to have it friday. Is there anything I can say to try and help her see what she is doing? I am very pro life and feel abortion is murder, the ONLY acceptable time I see is if the mother's life is at risk or a rape(even in these cases I still feel it is murder, but I feel the mother should have priority) the problem is that those cases account for such a TINY case of all abortions even though pro choicers use it as an excuse.
In any event please help if you have any advice!!! I printed some articles out for her today and don't know what else to do. The people surrounding this are very, umm basically refuse to really discuss things. I also don't get the lack of empathy she has when trying to talk to her about it. I don't understand.
Thanks
PS Her abortions have not been an issue about health or rape, but just unwanted pregnancies.

I support a woman's right to choose. I don't like to see abortions used as a form of birth control. However, it's her decision. If she asked for your opinion, I'd say fine. If she didn't, I'm not sure it's your business.

fairyprincess2003 · Jul 28, 2004

ok a few things

first I would like to thank everyone that sent kind thoughts our way.

I also would like to say that I think pointing out the women right to chose card is a little weak especially when it comes to the case of someone having abortions over and over again. I mean a woman's right to chose what exactly? Didnt she have a right to chose birth control? And if we are talking about a right to chose not to have something which is dependent upon her to survive, couldnt we say the same things for infants? The ill? A lot of others fall into this category.

Look I dont want to turn this into the woman's right to chose vs woman's right to not chose. I am pro life, but I am also pro women. You do not have to believe in ending a pregnancy for no health risks to believe in women's rights. I personally believe life is all a progression from conception until death. It cannot be proven otherwise. I feel pro abortion advocates use this but can never provide any solid proof. I mean surely a fetus is not dead. It is a alive. It's genetic code if formed. I could go on and on.

I also don't know why people get angry with pro lifers if they judge and turn their back on those who have had abortions, yet if they accept people (but not their choices in life) they also get yelled at. i get confused by this.

I also think it is wrong to say unwanted pregnancies result in children who are a "drain on the system" Who is anyone else to place a value on someone else's life. And who decides what is the appropriate family unit that one should and must come from. I come from a teenage mother. I was unplanned. I also graduated with honors and was a collegiate DI athlete. I also consider myself to be a good person (for the most part). Who is anyone to say I didn't deserve to live?

Sorry for the rant it is just how I feel right now.

By the way it is my business of this person for a few reasons. First, I feel someone needs to speak out on this. I mean surely even the most radical pro abortion person cannot honestly say nothing is wrong with having 4 abortions electively. Can they? Don't things get out of control the more we as humans turn our back on them and act like it is ok and nothing is going on? I have seen it happen many times. Also, I am speaking out for the unborn children. i don't see anythin wrong in that.

It is also very much my business because this person is my sister. So you see, these are my nieces and or nephews that she diong this to as well as to herself.

Thanks