I really need some advice here and I don't know who to ask. Someone very close to me was a teenage mother (at age 17), her daughter is now 6. Since then she has had three abortions with three different men. Now she is pregnant again and at first was not going to have another one, but now is set to have it friday. Is there anything I can say to try and help her see what she is doing? I am very pro life and feel abortion is murder, the ONLY acceptable time I see is if the mother's life is at risk or a rape(even in these cases I still feel it is murder, but I feel the mother should have priority) the problem is that those cases account for such a TINY case of all abortions even though pro choicers use it as an excuse.
In any event please help if you have any advice!!! I printed some articles out for her today and don't know what else to do. The people surrounding this are very, umm basically refuse to really discuss things. I also don't get the lack of empathy she has when trying to talk to her about it. I don't understand.
Thanks
PS Her abortions have not been an issue about health or rape, but just unwanted pregnancies.
What really needs to be discussed with her is birth control! Have you talked to her about tubal ligation? the pill? the shot? Try to reach her with those things then maybe you won't even need to worry about the abortion part.
I am sorry noeljan, I didn't mean to sound so mean. Of course I didn't realize it was your sister.
My post was harsh, but not angry. It is you who seem to have the anger, and I see it again in your second post.
You asked if you felt there was anything you could do and asked for advice. I realize I gave my opinion, but no real advice. So, here it is...
It is still none of your business. Your sister is of age, and unless you have her declared mentally incompetent, you cannot make this decision or any other decision for her.
You can choose not to support her, and tell her how it makes YOU feel, how you feel angry when she uses abortion as a means of birth control. Not only it is incredibly irresponsible, but as someone else pointed out, probably not a good medical procedure to go through over and over.
Can you solve her problem for her? Would you adopt the baby if she had it? Would you feel better if your neices and nephews went up for adoption? Do you think your parents should have to forego their "golden years" if it is applicable (I don't know if your parents are together or even still living, I apologize if either is the case) in order to raise another child?
I think almost everyone here has said they don't condone repeat abortions who responded, so not sure why you felt otherwise, it wasn't how I read the posts.
"I also don't know why people get angry with pro lifers if they judge and turn their back on those who have had abortions, yet if they accept people (but not their choices in life) they also get yelled at. i get confused by this."
It is called tough love. Maybe your sister needs the family to turn their back on her callous behavior in order for her to realize what the real cost can be. That's my take on it. Even if it was my sister, I would tell her I just couldn't support her lifestyle anymore. I know from experience, let's just say my family has issues too.
I believe for you, it is probably a real struggle to turn your back on a loved one, when the bible tells us to honor they father and mother, love your family, turn the other cheek, etc... But, sometimes it's a matter of saving your own sanity.
I had another thought, shouldn't the facility that is performing these repeat abortions document that they have given her counseling? I mean, shouldn't they refuse to provide this procedure in this kind of case?? Sure, she could just go somewhere else and lie, and no doubt have it done, but geez. I guess if she's going to do it, better in a facility than on the streets somewhere. Your sister needs a psych eval. I can't hurt, and may even help.
As the saying goes, Put your money where your mouth is. Offer to adopt the baby. Offer to help in some other way. Ask her what you can do for her. Otherwise it's not really any of your business.
RN Rotten Nurse
71 Posts
What really needs to be discussed with her is birth control! Have you talked to her about tubal ligation? the pill? the shot? Try to reach her with those things then maybe you won't even need to worry about the abortion part.