My worst fear come true.

Published

Specializes in Oncology.

I'm failing in my final semester of nursing school. 1 pass/fail course, and I'm failing it. (Decided to remove the details of why for protection.)

It's my fault, but it still hurts to be mere weeks from graduation and dealing with this situation. The embarrassment of having to explain to family members and friends. My obvious absence at graduation. Being stuck in my current job with the mediocre pay for another 6 months.

The positives:

- I will get a chance to repeat the course I am failing, and will still be a graduate nurse soon.

- Now I get to graduate in the spring with the warm weather.

- My really good friend, who failed in our third semester, will be with me in the spring class.

- I will have the chance to retake a couple of courses for grade replacement to improve my GPA.

- The material from this semester, which I did struggle with, will be reviewed for me.

- More time to get my life in order, plan my upcoming wedding, and get my anxiety under control.

- I get to enjoy Christmas and the holidays without the threat of NCLEX over my head.

- I get one last college Spring Break, and maybe it will be the best one yet.

This is an obstacle I must overcome to get to my end goal. But it will not be a failure; it's a delay.

Please do not attack me or give me a lecture. I love nursing. I got careless, but I have learned my lesson. I only wish that my preceptor had been more amenable to my learning styles, and one of the things I hope to come out of my experience next semester will be a better fit during my preceptorship.

If you made it this far, thank you for letting me organize my thoughts and gather my emotions before I go into this meeting with my instructor.

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I am sorry to hear about your situation. But it sounds like you have taken ownership of your mistakes and learned from them. You are making the best out of a poor situation. The upside is that you can retake the course and still graduate. Be thankful for that as some programs are fail one class and you are out...period. All the debt and no income from nursing. Continue to keep your head up and spirits up...

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Specializes in LTC.

Don't give up. You haven't failed anything yet. Keep plugging at it. I honestly believe that you can do this. What exactly are you having trouble with. Maybe we can help.

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I'm so sorry you are having this experience right now. It took me a few days before I could tell anyone but my fiancee. Somehow talking about it reopened the wounds for me. I could not shake the feeling that I let down everyone I loved. Of course they all set me straight when I expressed those fears to them. I had only one semester left. I have to wait a year to reenter.

I think it is great that you are looking for positives instead of focusing on the loss. It is really important to do an inventory on yourself and figure out what led to the failure. In my case, I have decided to enlist the help of a psychologist. For you, it may be different. I hope you will be able to grow from this experience. When you finish, it will be that much sweeter. You will know you gave everything you could.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

No lecture here. It sounds like you are taking accountability, making plans for the future and not giving up. That is worth a lot and says a lot about you as a person. How sweet your success will be! Hang in there. You got this.

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I admire anyone who is brave enough to share this kind of thing with others. Your experience makes all of us stronger. Keep pressing your way forward. What seems unbearably painful now will seem less so as time goes by. And one day you will share your story with a nursing student in a similar situation. And s/he will be grateful to hear your wisdom.

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Specializes in Oncology.
Don't give up. You haven't failed anything yet. Keep plugging at it. I honestly believe that you can do this. What exactly are you having trouble with. Maybe we can help.

I had this in there originally, but I removed it because I don't want to be in trouble for sharing details on a message board (that would be even more horrible than the current situation). My failure was related to an isolated incident in a clinical setting. No patients were harmed, but it was outside the safety standards of my college and they had to fail me because of that. I had stellar reviews from all of my clinical instructors throughout the program - just had a lapse in judgment that caused me to make a mistake. The decision not to pass me has already been made. I am thankful that I will get to return next semester regardless, but it still hurts to be this close and fail.

My family has been kind so far. My mom is a nurse and understands the politics of my situation (no excuses, just the facts) and has been in my corner with reassurance. My dad told me that it's just a setback and he's still proud of me. My fiance has been extremely supportive. One of those three are handling notifying other family members so I don't have to do it right now, but they'll know not to come in for my graduation. 20 people. It's just so disappointing.

I'm going to let myself mourn for the rest of the day and drown myself in sitcoms and dramas on TV. Then tomorrow I'll start putting the pieces of my life back together one at a time.

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In a way, it is good that students like you and I get this life lessons now. We are in a safe, controlled environment. We are a lot less likely to do harm. I would much rather make a mistake and take my lumps as a student than as a new nurse with no safety net. It sounds like you're going to do really well once you recover from this.

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Specializes in LTC.

OP, I'm very sorry. You are going the right thing by giving yourself time to mourn. I'm so happy that you will be able to return next semester. May will be here before you know it! I can't imagine the pain that you are feeling right now. May God give you peace. Take care of yourself.

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Specializes in Oncology.

The worst part of it is that I was told by one instructor that everything was fine, I was not in trouble, and that we simply needed to discuss it. Then I continued on in clinicals for 2 more weeks, which was nearly 60 hours in the setting. When I went into clinicals for my second to last shift this week, I was called in the morning at the facility by the instructor over the previous instructor I mentioned, and asked to go home. It was a huge shock and I'm lucky that my fiance was off work that day to comfort me, as I was a mess.

I guess it's not sharing too much information to say that it was a medication error. Right patient, right drug, right dose, right route. Wrong time by 1 hour and 15 minutes for a 2x/day drug given often to those who are on bed rest.

My mom is upset that they let me continue clinicals for 2 weeks past the incident that failed me, but I don't know what the statute of limitations on that kind of thing could be. I'm sure they were well within their right to fail me regardless of how long it took them...just seems extremely unprofessional.

Thank you all for the support.

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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can see how easy it is to make a mistake during clinicals, the enviroment itself makes it easy. Anyhow, I am thinking in my head about your med error because it seems strange since I don't think we've ever administered med's right on time but anyhow it doesn't really matter. I am impressed with how you're handling it, I would also be upset. I'm sure a few years from now it will seem like nothing but I'm sure in the moment its hard since I'm sure if you're like me but I think since we've started the program my classmates and I count down the days and teh semesters. Just keep your positive attitude since there isn't much you can do I'm sure. You'll get through it and if it makes you feel better you'll still be graduating way before me lol:crying2:

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I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know the joys I'm feeling about my pending granduation in March, but as I go into role transition it's also a stern reminder for me to be careful and think about everything that I'm doing.

As said above I think the clinicals in themselves often make it easy for us to not use our brains and get through them. Having the instructor there to correct things and stop us before we do something bad, and to "question" us into remembering to do certain things. Though it is good that they are protecting the patients, I've seen with my own eyes students using that as a crutch to get through the day.

It's commendable for you to take ownership of the situation and show the strength and desire to get back in the saddle. It's not a failure, it's a setback. Stay strong and stay focused.

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