First time poster, long time lurker. Actually just made an account to get this off of my chest.
I find so many posts on this site helpful and sometimes I just scroll while shaking my head. Why is it that when someone asks for advice or an answer, it is met with rude remarks and or "this post is so terribly written I can't even answer?"
People come on this site for help or advice, but there's always a select few who just have to hop on the post and defend their title as Allnurses' bully. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep scrolling for everyone's sake :)
Thank you all for your comments and "two cents". Maybe I just need to overlook the negativity and keep scrolling when I see it. There are many posts that are helpful, funny, insightful, and educational. Thank you all for your respectful posts.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I made a suggestion
Lots of us make suggestions. Most of them are well thought out from a sincere desire to help. But if it's a suggestion the OP wasn't hoping to hear, it gets labelled as negative and unhelpful. The poster that spent his/her time trying to be helpful gets flamed and called names.
You just never know how someone is going to respond to a suggestion.
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
I'm going to answer this for you. There are times when I click to read a post to genuinely help somebody and I truly can't understand their post from the way it is written. I usually stop reading halfway because it makes no sense. Grammar, punctuation, and simple paragraphs are needed. Trying to read a text speak, giant, run-on paragraph is terrible and it hurts my eyes and head.
Also, it drives me insane when people want to dictate my response. I will give genuine advice, but I don't sugar-coat the truth. And in the same fashion, people can scroll past my remarks only. Giving somebody advice that Algebra I is a good place to start in their journey to nursing or that no, their 2.3 GPA is not enough to get into nursing school is not mean. The first one was not me.
People seem to think they can somehow read tone through the computer. You can't. I often get accused of being mean because I'm just straight to the point. And I don't get that. Every once in a while I get annoyed and go on a rant, but generally I just type a simple statement and I'm mean. Why? It's not just me either, as I find there are several posters that fall the same way as I do. I'm here to contribute hopefully, meaningfully and not be a rah-rah cheerleader for everybody's insecurities.
That sums it up for me.
There is a big difference between looking for advice and looking for someone to co-sign your..........(thinks of a word that works for TOS)..........shortcomings.
Too many are not looking for advice or opinions. They are looking to have their (cough cough) shortcomings validated. And when they don't get the results they want................
I was on a thread once, someone had NCLEX anxiety, and she was upset at what she overheard someone else say at a zoo or something. The responses she got were pretty much unanimously saying "Don't eavesdrop, it's unbecoming."
She created another account, told everyone they were obnoxious, then came back on the original account and continued to discuss the issue.
Nursey Me: I will agree that at times, people seem to enjoy being cold and/or blunt. But that is in every walk of life. You can not tell me this is the only place you witness it. Well.......you can tell me........but I'd not believe you.
I see more people begging to be treated that way than anything else though. Some people just make it impossible to take them seriously.
Just as with real life, how you present yourself determines how you get treated. Just, the means by which you present yourself are different on a chat forum such as this one.
In real life, if someone came up to you stinking as though they have not bathed in a week, liquor on their breath and mumbling loosely related nonsense, you'd probably tell them to shove off and leave you alone.
Well, same thing in here. When someone presents themselves with all sorts of poor presentation, including a bad attitude from the start, they get told to move along. Sometimes they're told to do so in a not so nice manner is all.
There is a big difference between looking for advice and looking for someone to co-sign your..........(thinks of a word that works for TOS)..........shortcomings.
Too many are not looking for advice or opinions. They are looking to have their (cough cough) shortcomings validated. And when they don't get the results they want................
I was on a thread once, someone had NCLEX anxiety, and she was upset at what she overheard someone else say at a zoo or something. The responses she got were pretty much unanimously saying "Don't eavesdrop, it's unbecoming."
She created another account, told everyone they were obnoxious, then came back on the original account and continued to discuss the issue.
Nursey Me: I will agree that at times, people seem to enjoy being cold and/or blunt. But that is in every walk of life. You can not tell me this is the only place you witness it. Well.......you can tell me........but I'd not believe you.
I see more people begging to be treated that way than anything else though. Some people just make it impossible to take them seriously.
Just as with real life, how you present yourself determines how you get treated. Just, the means by which you present yourself are different on a chat forum such as this one.
In real life, if someone came up to you stinking as though they have not bathed in a week, liquor on their breath and mumbling loosely related nonsense, you'd probably tell them to shove off and leave you alone.
Well, same thing in here. When someone presents themselves with all sorts of poor presentation, including a bad attitude from the start, they get told to move along. Sometimes they're told to do so in a not so nice manner is all.
Sometimes a not so nice manner is the only one that gets listened to.
Lol, ok. HUGE difference. :) But it's not going to happen. As I said in my first post. These kinds of threads don't change anyone's behavior. And since the mods don't remove these posts, they clearly don't have to change their posting behavior to suit you or anyone else. Posts that violate TOS do get removed, probably on a daily basis. The mods are paying attention.
Bullying, meanness and rudeness is extremely subjective. I am also very direct, but I do try to offer genuine advice or answers to posts.
However, it can be very easy to misinterpret someone, and we have a rainbow of personalities on this site. That makes life interesting.
Some people want genuine advice and others seek validation. If these posters are not receiving the exact advice they desire, we're labeled as mean or negative.
Take the advice you want and discard the rest. Also realize that we can disagree and this is useful if you take the opportunity for reflection.
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
Lol, ok. HUGE difference. :) But it's not going to happen. As I said in my first post. These kinds of threads don't change anyone's behavior. And since the mods don't remove these posts, they clearly don't have to change their posting behavior to suit you or anyone else. Posts that violate TOS do get removed, probably on a daily basis. The mods are paying attention.
(Goes to remove some of her rude posts, realizes she can't)
Don't come here to try and scold or school us. As a professional if you can't write a readable, understandable post you're going to get called on it. If you don't like that, then perhaps another forum would be a better fit for you.
Edited to add: Just because you think people are being meeeeeeen or "bullies" doesn't mean that people are actually being those things. If you don't want to hear comments you don't like then stay the heck out of forums.
Don't come here to try and scold or school us. As a professional if you can't write a readable, understandable post you're going to get called on it. If you don't like that, then perhaps another forum would be a better fit for you.
Edited to add: Just because you think people are being meeeeeeen or "bullies" doesn't mean that people are actually being those things. If you don't want to hear comments you don't like then stay the heck out of forums.
There's a difference between a post that could be misinterpreted because you can't decipher tone or sarcasm on these post and a post that is just straight up disrespectful. The obvious rude, disrespectful, and unhelpful posts are what I'm talking about.
There's a difference between a post that could be misinterpreted because you can't decipher tone or sarcasm on these post and a post that is just straight up disrespectful. The obvious rude, disrespectful, and unhelpful posts are what I'm talking about.
There is a yellow "report" button at the bottom of each post. If you find one has violated the TOS here, you can report the post. A mod will evaluate your complaint. I've reported posts that were not deleted. So I was forced to admit that while I didn't like the post, the admins here disagreed that it merited action. In that case, you shrug your shoulders and move on.
Nursey Me
16 Posts
Thank you all for your comments and "two cents". Maybe I just need to overlook the negativity and keep scrolling when I see it. There are many posts that are helpful, funny, insightful, and educational. Thank you all for your respectful posts.