First time poster, long time lurker. Actually just made an account to get this off of my chest.
I find so many posts on this site helpful and sometimes I just scroll while shaking my head. Why is it that when someone asks for advice or an answer, it is met with rude remarks and or "this post is so terribly written I can't even answer?"
People come on this site for help or advice, but there's always a select few who just have to hop on the post and defend their title as Allnurses' bully. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep scrolling for everyone's sake :)
Sorry OP, you just had to create an account to tell us we are rude bullies, and you thought we were going to send you warm fuzzy hugs? You knew when you posted this that it would be inflammatory but you did it anyway.
No need to apologize. I was creating an account eventually anyways. Warm fuzzy hugs aren't really my thing, not what I was searching for. I don't think the responses have been very inflammatory, this post has shown me that the majority of the community can have a civilized discussion and share their opinions without being straight up rude or demeaning. I like it.
It's a shame on you thread. Like countless others who also attempt to change posting behavior with a nice finger wag, it won't work. People are going to post the way they want to post unless they violate the TOS, in which case their post will be deleted and they will receive a warning from the Mods.
Not a shame on you post. I'm sharing my observations and asking questions about them. Not trying to change anyone's behavior because we all know that won't work.
Yes, think you for clarifying again that if a post doesn't violate the TOS it will not get deleted. I didn't call for these post to get deleted.
Yep. W These young whippersnappers who dwell in the land of NETY
I know this is off topic... but maybe not... what is NETY? I've seen it on a couple of posts and really don't know the acronym.
On topic. I have taken time to write responses to people who say they wanted advice. I have written based on the information they gave and the experiences I have had as both a floor nurse and a nurse manager.
I have also had people tell me I'm being rude or mean. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't waste my time typing up a long response in order to be rude or mean. If I didn't think I had anything to say that would be helpful, I won't respond (unless it's a just chatting post and we are ... just chatting...). Most of the time I feel like I am responding to things I may have done when I was young and new and I give advice based on things I wished people had told me. If it offends, then I wonder if the person truly wanted advice.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
If a post is so poorly written that we cannot understand the question, we could just scroll past it. If everyone did that, the poster would get no responses and probably would not understand why. So I think it's a kindness to tell them that they need to do a little revision or explaining so that others can understand the problem and attempt to help.
Rudeness is pretty much in the eye of the beholder, and I find that often being straightforward is met by accusations of "bully." That doesn't help anyone. The thread often devolves into claims that another poster was mean to them or is rude than than considering the actual advice offered by the poster. With some posters, any comment that they don't like or disagree with is going to be met with the "internet flounce."
Once you put a topic out there, you don't get to dictate the responses you receive. AN is a lot of things to a lot of people, but what it is not is a "support group" designed to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy. If your problem is your fault, I'll tell you. If I'm not sure that your problem is your fault, I'll tell you that and ask you to think about it. I think it would be doing you a disservice to give you virtual hugs and NOT point out to you that calling your charge nurse an "old dog" -- no matter what your grievance -- is unlikely to result in you getting additional perks in the work place.
And as a long time lurker, you probably knew that this post was not going to be met with rainbows and sunshine. It makes me wonder about someone who created an account just to do some virtual finger wagging. Could you possibly be a bully?
Why are people mean anywhere? Unfortunately, no matter where you go, there are always going to be people who are not going to like what you say and have rude ways of expressing themselves. There are thousands of people on this site, and you are bound to eventually cross paths with posters you find offensive. People who get really nasty are generally reported to the moderators and told to play nice.
Also, the tone of the poster can be unclear. Two people can see the same post meaning two completely different things. The problem with many posts is that without an actual voice behind it, they can be easily misconstrued. The posters here are mostly a nice lot although we all have our disagreements. Feel free to post as you please :)
I agree. This is true....Another poster and I went into a semi-arguement because I completely misunderstood her response regarding something I posted. The good part was that we worked it out. I thought when she said "she" that she meant me and she was referring to a different "she" in my post. It can get confusing when you aren't in person speaking and you misunderstand an intention or tone.
I have seen some rather "picky" or overly critical responses, but as you scroll through, you also do see a lot of positive responses. Certain things rub people the wrong way. That is life. Plus, being anonymous makes people more comfortable speaking in a reactive way...no excuse for rudeness, just saying...
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I made a suggestion
You opened an account here so you could finger wag at the community about negativity and then you DEMANDED that there be no negative posts, to "keep scrolling, for everyone's sake." How is that not negative? You just wanted to pot stir, we've seen that before. But if you're looking for pot stirring, you'll have to expect answers you won't like.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
There's a difference between a post that could be misinterpreted because you can't decipher tone or sarcasm on these post and a post that is just straight up disrespectful. The obvious rude, disrespectful, and unhelpful posts are what I'm talking about.
The fact that you don't find a post helpful doesn't mean that it isn't helpful to someone else reading the thread. As far as rude and disrespectful -- like beauty, they are in the eye of the beholder.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Not a shame on you post. I'm sharing my observations and asking questions about them. Not trying to change anyone's behavior because we all know that won't work.
Yes, think you for clarifying again that if a post doesn't violate the TOS it will not get deleted. I didn't call for these post to get deleted.
Weren't you the one who suggested that there be no negative posts and if you didn't have something nice to say, just keep on scrolling? I thought it was you.
Nursey Me
16 Posts
No need to apologize. I was creating an account eventually anyways. Warm fuzzy hugs aren't really my thing, not what I was searching for. I don't think the responses have been very inflammatory, this post has shown me that the majority of the community can have a civilized discussion and share their opinions without being straight up rude or demeaning. I like it.