My Struggle as a nurse

Nurses General Nursing

Published

So where to start... I went to seton hall university got through it was very hard, but managed. After graduating I had a wedding to attend: my wedding. I was so busy with planning that I pushed my nclex 3 months ahead. I got married and realized I married a drug addict. I was with him for over 8 years and he started abusing opiates 2 years ago. I had no idea I was so busy with nursing school I didnt see it. We lived 45 mins apart and saw each other once or twice a week. After the wedding we moved in and thats when hell started for me. He came clean about his addiction and I as dealing with an addict. Everything that an addict comes with he came with: lies, manipulation, stealing and scary life threatening events. Don't forget that he was my bestfriend for many years and he became someone else.

I was at the same time studying for my nclex but couldn't focus with all this going on. I studied 3 weeks and went to take the test and I failed. I studied Hurst was great but didn't help much. Took it again 2nd time again failed. Then i studied from all other books and I already began to lose hope. Against 3rd time I failed. I gave hope, I felt like the world was coming to an end for me. I wanted to give up on life itself. I was miserable. Living with an addict and now my career was crumbling all because of a test. I knew I had to change something. What pushed me to an edge is my so called husband took me to get chinese food at 11:30 pm and locked me in the car and went to get some heroin. I knew that was it!!! I never smoked pot never did any drug in my life and this was not ok for me.

Don't forget Im only 24 years old. I moved back in with my parents and he followed. I told him to go to hawaii because rehabs didnt help him he tried 3 times. So he flew to hawaii where his brother lives and I called him when he landed and I said listen to me carefully: you are dead to me we are over you will get divorce papers and you will forget me. I told him he traded me for drugs and I would not be dragged down to hell with him I didnt choose that road. He was heart broken but I literally turned off my humanity. I did not want to do anything anymore! .... After he left I felt like I could BREATHE!!! I didnt have to worry about antthing anymore. I couldn't believe i was freeee from stress.

I started studying hurst again and purchased Kaplan.. and 3 weeks later I PASSED!!!! I was sooo happy I literally cried for days... I got my license in NJ 2 months later took forever. after 8 months of trying to passs NCLEX i passed with 220 questions. I got a job in home care pediatrics worked there for 2 months didn't like it and started to apply to hospital positions. Nobody called me back. Of course no experience no interest. Then I applied to an private OR position in a clinic and i got the job. I had 6 week orientation routine procedures and it was awesome but not what I wanted. I wanted a hospital position where I would gain great experience. I called ***** and begged the nurse recruiter to interview me she said ok. I went in got interviewed but she told me there were no positions I qualified for. She wasn't too nice but said if anyhting came up she'd contact me but said there are new grad aligned.

Then after 2 months of having OR on my resume I applied to ***** again. another recruiter emailed me showing interest and made an interview date. The day of the interview the recruiter called me and told me she was resigning but her coworker would interivew me. When i got there I couldn't believe it i was stuck with first recruiter who didn't like me too much for her personal reasons. She literally asked me why the other nurse would be interested in a no experienced nurse. Very rude and fake. She said i guess come into my office and we will see what I can do. She didnt do anything sat there for 5 minutes and said thanks for coming. I left heart broken. Then I contacted a doctor who works in the ER at st barnabas and he got my resume to the nurse manager in the ER. He showed interest and I called the nurse recruiter again she was annoyed to hear from me and she said you have an interview with him in a week. I interviewed with him he gave me a tour he literally told me how long my oritentation would be I believed I was hired. I told all my family and friends I basically got the job I was just waiting for the official offer from the recruiter.

A week later she calls me and was glad to delivery the horrible news .. "the nurse manager has resinged" !!!! sorry the new manager isn't interested in hiring anyone at this time. I wanted to scream !!!!! I just said goodbye.. I moped downstairs where my mother was waiting for great news. She couldn't believe it. Nobody could, this lady hated me!!! My mother who took care of an elderly woman 20 years ago when she first came to america remembered that her son was the President of ***** for 38 years. She told me to google his name and to call him. I did what she said even tho I was annoyed of this because I didn't believe anyone could help me anymore. As I called him his wife took down all my information. They are aroudn 80 years old. I also knew he retired 18 years ago.

The next day he himself called me and told me to call the human recourses that they were waiting for my call. I called they told me to apply online and once I did 1 hour later I was made an appointment for an interview. I went in met an amaizing nurse recruiter and he took me down to the ER dep. and met the managers. 2 woman interviewed me and it went great. The next day at 8 am I got an email which had my ER offer. I was in shock couldn't believe it. And it also included the date of my orientation which is october 6th, 2014. I am soooo happy.. I took the entrance pharm exam passed and got my id and physical done. Now I start in 2 days and am so excited. My struggle has finally come to an end. I know ER nursing is another journey but I can say I made it and I didn't give up after all I went through. I have a wonderful career starting, a great boyfriend who cares about me and a family who supports me with anything.

I just wanted to share that Dont ever give up .. life will throw crap at you but if you never give up you will reach your dreams.

sorry about my spelling I was rushing to write all of this and did not go back to fix errors.

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Specializes in long term care Alzheimers Patients.

What an inspiring story. You should be very proud of yourself, you overcome a lot of obstacles.

Congratulations on your new position.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Congrats!

Remember, such challenges makes us better nurses. :)

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

Oh honey, the struggle is very real. You should read my post about every time I went to nursing school, I lost a relationship. Second thought, don't read it. Just know you are not alone...leeches love nurses! Congratulations on the overcoming!!

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Specializes in pediatric.

Thank you for sharing your story. There were a lot of times when you could have just given up but didn't, and I applaud you for not letting life (or an abusive relationship or a spiteful nurse or whatever else) defeat you. Congratulations on your many successes! This kind of resolve and determination will serve you well in nursing and in life :) *hugs*

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Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.

Great story to read. I love ER, I hope you feel the same!!!

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Thank you everyone for your sweet replies . I know i will love ER and yes the obstacles that cqme my way only made me stronger my skin got thicker and I believe I did get wiser about many things. Thank you

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Specializes in EDUCATION;HOMECARE;MATERNAL-CHILD; PSYCH.

Congrats! I am so proud of you. You never gave up. Good Job!!

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I'm really glad after all the marriage events you endured at a young age, that you were able to push on and keep going. Congrats! (Please don't job hop out of this ER gig, no matter how hard it gets. Stick with it for two years at least.)

In other news, you might want to edit out names of facilities and people in your OP. Refer to them in vague terms only. Giving out such specific information can come back to bite you down the road. The anonymity of the internet is not anonymous at all.

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TMI, TMI. But glad you found a job! And you will like the ER. Your interactions with patients are short. It is very quick-task type stuff and just when you get sick of your patient....they get discharged or admitted. It is a really nice flow of work. Given that you're so young, just don't take it all too seriously, nursing is a career but also still 'a job' and life is much more important. And even if you don't like your new job, remember there are lots of different options. Nothing wrong with working hard someplace and giving it your all until you decide to stay or move on, whatever is right for you.

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Congratulations for over-coming all these obstacles!!! You are a tough lady and you will use these experiences for the rest of your life. Hope the ER position works out for you, which I am sure it will. Make sure you allow yourself some "fun" time, time for you. Don't let the druggie come back into your life as he will only try to bring you down. Move on and keep growing!!

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Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you left that toxic relationship and didn't give up on what you truly wanted. Congrats and good luck with your new job!

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