My patient died today

[TU RN]

He was 84. He came in with a long list of problems, but sepsis was the big one. His pressure tanked suddenly, but we couldn't bolus too aggressively 2/2 CHF. By the time we got pressors he brady'd down and lost his pulse. We coded him for 25 hopeless minutes, got PEA, but never got ROSC. It was the first patient I ever had die in my 22 months of nursing. I am pretty burdened by the whole situation and felt I had to put it somewhere. Thanks.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I am so sorry for your loss. And it is a big loss. I lost my first patient as a student and can still see his face, 20 years later. HUGS to you.

[joemomma35]

I'm surprised that's your first death. What specialty are you in? ICU/ER?

[amoLucia]

If your facility offers EAP counseling, you might want to take advantage of it.

Holding a good thought for you.

[RN403, BSN, RN]

*hugs* to you, OP.

[ScrappytheCoco]

I'm sorry OP. It sounds like he was quite ill and with his advanced age there likely wasn't anything further you could have done for him. It sounds like he had a long life. You have done well to go two years without a death! My very first patient on my very first day as a new grad died an hour after I spent the whole 12 hour shift caring for him. Hugs to you OP

[thevez]

I, too, have not had a patient die in my shift, thank God. But I am going to critical care soon so, I am going to expect something due to acuities of patients.

[VANurse2010]

I, too, have not had a patient die in my shift, thank God. But I am going to critical care soon so, I am going to expect something due to acuities of patients.

People die in critical care, certainly, but not as often as you may think. Tortured with invasive interventions, trachs, PEGs, and LTACH stays are more common.

[TU RN, DNP, CRNA]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I work in MICU stepdown. What bugged me the most was that he was talking to me a little earlier and I had helped him drink a small amount of water, which was actually an improvement. He was asking the night shift nurse before me for his wife. It was about 2 hours after his wife had come to see him that this all happened. I know it's unscientific and some might say hogwash, but I'm gonna think that he was waiting to see her before he let go :)

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Nope - not hogwash. I have personally experienced many patients 'hanging on' to accomplish a personal goal - such as one last visit with family. OTOH, I have also seen patients who literally 'willed' themselves to die, and no amount of heroic intervention could pull them back. I am not 'religious', but I'm absolutely convinced that we "don't end at our skin". Of course, we all know that death is inevitable for everyone; a normal part of the life cycle; yadda yadda yadda . . . . but that doesn't make it any easier. Sepsis is a mean mother goose.

I (literally) don't know anyone in my age group (crusty old bat) that has not had a family member or friend affected by this modern plague - with mostly tragic outcomes. We need to fight back - becoming fanatic about hand sanitizing is a great start. It would be a great way to acknowledge your patient.

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

My patient died s/p fall in the bathroom when I was only 2 months off orientation. Docs say he suffered a PE.

Sent from my iPad using allnurses

[Purple_roses]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I work in MICU stepdown. What bugged me the most was that he was talking to me a little earlier and I had helped him drink a small amount of water, which was actually an improvement. He was asking the night shift nurse before me for his wife. It was about 2 hours after his wife had come to see him that this all happened. I know it's unscientific and some might say hogwash, but I'm gonna think that he was waiting to see her before he let go :)

Truth is, we don't really know what death entails. Can people hold out until they see their loved one? Maybe. At least he got to see his wife before he passed.

I'm so sorry for the passing of your patient. You sound like a caring nurse.

[VANurse2010]

Nope - not hogwash. I have personally experienced many patients 'hanging on' to accomplish a personal goal - such as one last visit with family. OTOH, I have also seen patients who literally 'willed' themselves to die, and no amount of heroic intervention could pull them back. I am not 'religious', but I'm absolutely convinced that we "don't end at our skin". Of course, we all know that death is inevitable for everyone; a normal part of the life cycle; yadda yadda yadda . . . . but that doesn't make it any easier. Sepsis is a mean mother goose.

I (literally) don't know anyone in my age group (crusty old bat) that has not had a family member or friend affected by this modern plague - with mostly tragic outcomes. We need to fight back - becoming fanatic about hand sanitizing is a great start. It would be a great way to acknowledge your patient.

Or maybe STOP hand sanitizing every 5 minutes while you're young and able so you actually have some immunity.