My mom does not want me to become a nurse

Nurses General Nursing

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My mom does not want me to become a nurse because when she was a nurse, mabey 27 or 28 years ago, she did not like it. This drives me crazy. When I get to that point, wont be for a little while as i am about to be a senior in highschool, she will not pay for nursing school. What should I do/say to her?

One other question that I have......has your mom had a bad experience dealing with nurses or the medical field regarding herself or maybe you in the past few years? Could be that is lurking in her mind. Just a thought. If I am off base...sorry.

No...she just hated being a nurse....and dont be sorry...it was a good idea that is a valid possibillity in some instances.

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

You should not live up to your mother's standards when it comes to choosing a career. I believe that you should follow your heart and go for it if you really want it. She is very selfish if you ask me. What may have been terrible for her may not for you. You are 2 different persons and she should know that.

If you are worried because she won't pay for it, then get financial aid, scholarships, or student loans and you can make it by yourself.

It is sad that she doesn't want to support your desire to become a nurse, but it would be worse if you studied what she wants you to and you don't like it.

Best wishes to you. :icon_hug:

Usually when the whole world leaves you stranded, it's your family you still have.

Tough decision. I wouldn't just go against what your mother says and I would advise against a confrontational meeting.

Mom, potentially has some valid concerns for your future. You owe it to her to hear her out even if you don't agree. Some of her concerns may be mute at this point but some may be valid. It is possible that she see's qualities in you that you yourself don't see yet.

In the meantime, you can do some things to help allieviate her concerns and ultimately your own that may pop up. In high school is a perfect opportunity to take on volunteer activities. You won't be nursing but you will be in the environment and be able to get many different opinions and some guidance. You could also delay your entrance into Nursing School by a year and get your CNA license. You would be working right in the grunt of things with the nurses, be exposed to the total environment you believe you want to work in, and also keep mom updated on the ups/downs of the whole profession as you see it and your own personality. In the meantime you can set some money back to help pay expenses. There is nothing wrong with taking an extra year to get things together. Nursing school can be tough and another year of maturity will go a long way towards reaching your goals and convincing your mother. It is possible too that as a CNA your hospital will have tuition reimbursement programs that you will be working towards meeting the eligibility requirements for as well as scholarship opportunities not available to the whole community.

She no doubt believes she has your best interest in mind but the reasons she feels so strongly are unclear. Those reasons need explored. It is true that ultimately the decision is yours and you can figure out how to fund your education, but don't do so without hearing her out. Very few people are still at the same career they started out in.

Mom is not obligated to pay your college tuition, and if she chooses to do so in whole or part that is a big plus towards getting you started in your adult life. If she chooses not to, you are a step back towards that goal so I see no harm in slowing down a bit and doing your 'homework' towards convincing her this is right for you.

Take your time, look into the general education requirements your nursing program will have and begin by taking those classes part time while working in a hospital.

There are ways to meet your dreams but don't have a power struggle with your family over it. Having their support in the long run will ultimately help you succeed in everything.

Specializes in Surgical Intensive Care.

Follow your dreams and be true to yourself. You are the only one that you'll be able to blame later on. Best wishes and enjoy your senior year.

Specializes in Critical Care,Recovery, ED.

First follow Tweety's advice. If that doesn't work for you then talk with Mom. Not so much about why she doesn't like nursing or why you want to be a nurse, but on how to be happy in your life. And following a career that makes you happy is a key choice in having a good life. Ultimately it is going to be your choice whether it is Nursing or some other feild. It's sometimes hard for Moms to realize their "babies" are entering adulthood and will be making decisions that Mom, or Dad for that matter, don't agree with. Ignore the financial threat.

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Hon,

I've been an RN for 38 yrs. It's a hard job. Maybe this is where you're Mom is coming from. For instance, I joke all the time that if I had a daughter or son, I would never want them to be a nurse. Well, the fact is that I don't have any kids, so this is always hypothetical. In reality, I guess if I did have kids, & they wanted to be nurses, I'd say OK & back them up & do anything I could for them--just so they'd be happy.

However, Please know that it is a very hard job and sometimes it seems like we get no respect & some days I just get so down & frustrated. I will say. that this is all I ever wanted to be & even tho I get down--I still LOVE it. I know there are bad days, but it's still my thing!!

I think Tweety and all the rest here are giving you good advise.

You know, years ago when I went to school, I ended up paying my own way--not because my parents wouldn't help, but b/c I felt I would appreciate it more if I did it myself. Of course, it wasn't as expensive as today.

In the end--follow your heart.

Just remember, your Mom might have her reasons

Mary Ann

While my mother never said no to me entering nursing she did express concern if I would burn out. she knew I could accomplish the schooling and suceed but being an LPN she liked her job but I think was concerned I would burn out. She didn't want me to work as an aide for fear I'd burn myself out before I even got to the nursing part. She was right. I mean her concern. I tried a NA program after only completing like intro to nursing and ped nursing not med surg and I was so in over my head. I'm sortof slow to new things then I pick up so I had a rushed orientation due to being a nursing student and really could not pull my weight. Others who can handle it would benefit from this for school. I'm ok now but I do feel the stress and agravation. My solution is i'm transfering to another unit, ICU and I'm excited now. The great thing is you can jump around to different areas. The only downside I'm in a local hospital that does not have much variety as far as units. No trauma, no NICU. HOWEVER supposedly we are going to develop some lower level trauma area. We have a helipad. So I think if I try ICU then maybe in time even that will open up. Things are forced to expand right now with our population.

Anyway, I do hear (only been an RN 2 years) that nursing has changed A LOT in 30 years. There's more medical equipment, procedures, wound care that make it interesting, computers. More techs to help you out. It's actually more responsibility I think. That can be good or bad depending on what you want. I really like it. You get frustrated at lack of staffing and management/coworker junk that maybe does not help.

It's funny b/c I allways thought after visiting my mom in the same hospital I work at she was in ICU for months. I thought I'd like to get into that unit. Well after graduating from the univeristy right next door thought oh heck can't do that can't even THINK of icu now! Now the first 2 years flew by got experience and now feel confident that I can try it. In fact I'm sick of the med surg and need something mroe.

The sick thing is the nurse I amdired MOST on the ICU who took care of my mom tried to discourage me even into going into nursing! That's what your post reminds me of. She wasn't persistent just I think people don't realize how hard it is and demanding. I've worked really hard all through school so I transfer this work ethic and detail into my job so it all depends on the individual where you take it and how well you'll do or enjoy nursing from what I'm experiencing.

Nurse shadowing sounds like an excellent idea to try. Explain to your mom why you want to get into nursing?

Just remember, nurses who try and discourage you from entering nursing are the ones with the problems. Don't let someone else's problems become yours as well.

If yor heart is in nursing, there are many paths that you can follow to get there.

Best of luck!

I would not want my son to become a nurse. He's only an infant right now, but I'll definitely encourage other fields of work. The only reason I became a nurse is b/c there is nothing else that I can do for the same amount of money & freedom, and I have a knack for working with people. However, if I had a talent of any sort or the $/time to work on another degree, I would definitely pursue something else. Nursing is a hard job, and I've lost my idealistic passion that I had in nursing school. It's just a job, and a very difficult/tiring one at that.

My mom does not want me to become a nurse because when she was a nurse, mabey 27 or 28 years ago, she did not like it. This drives me crazy. When I get to that point, wont be for a little while as i am about to be a senior in highschool, she will not pay for nursing school. What should I do/say to her?

Say, "Mom, you are you. I am me. You are not me." Then take out a couple of student loans or apply for a pell grant and go to your local community college which is probably dirt cheap and become the nurse that you want to be.

I would not want my son to become a nurse. He's only an infant right now, but I'll definitely encourage other fields of work. The only reason I became a nurse is b/c there is nothing else that I can do for the same amount of money & freedom, and I have a knack for working with people. However, if I had a talent of any sort or the $/time to work on another degree, I would definitely pursue something else. Nursing is a hard job, and I've lost my idealistic passion that I had in nursing school. It's just a job, and a very difficult/tiring one at that.

I would LOVE it if my son would consider nursing. It is a wide open field, especially for men at an advanced level. A male NP could write his own ticket in so many areas or nursing!

I feel sorry that you have lost your love of nursing. You're missing something as there are so many wonderful opportunities out there.

My mom does not want me to become a nurse because when she was a nurse, mabey 27 or 28 years ago, she did not like it. This drives me crazy. When I get to that point, wont be for a little while as i am about to be a senior in highschool, she will not pay for nursing school. What should I do/say to her?

I am very sorry for your mothers lack of support. Nursing school is a time when you need all the support you can get. I hope your mother learns to accept your decision soon.

melissa

My mom does not want me to become a nurse because when she was a nurse, mabey 27 or 28 years ago, she did not like it. This drives me crazy. When I get to that point, wont be for a little while as i am about to be a senior in highschool, she will not pay for nursing school. What should I do/say to her?

My advice is this........Please, Please, Please LISTEN to your mom. She knows what she is talking about, and I can only assume she knows what you may or may not like for a career, since she raised you. Especially if she has been there and done that. I have said the same thing...... I will not pay for nursing school, should any of my children want to make that mistake. There are dozens of ways to make the same salary, and "help people" . Nursing has come a long way, but it has come a long way from nothing... we were considered uneducated maids. Now, we are basically considered slightly more educated maids, but oddly, we have 10 times the responsibility. We are expected to be the nurse, pharmacist, social worker, maid, dietary aid, nutritionist, therapist, and customer service specialist. Just pick one of any of the above, at least you'll have just one profession to be responsible for. Listen to your mom. The odds are, you think you want to be a nurse, but your wrong. And you will find out your wrong when its too late.... after you invested your time, energy, blood, sweat and tears in nursing school. Then you will work as a nurse, because thats what you have become, and not want to waste your nursing education. But, you will look back and feel cheated, like you were sold a bottle of snake oil. And think, "what was I thinking?" You might get to a point where almost ANY other job looks appealing. Sometimes I find myself envying secretaries, cashiers, fast food managers, almost anything on a bad day. But then again, you truely could be one of those nurses who absolutely love nursing, and have no problem working under terrible conditions where your license is at stake, and dont mind being a door mat, and just a body that gets included with the rate of a hospital room. Hey, it happens, I am sure at least 25% of nurses currently practicing are. But my advice is, LISTEN TO YOUR MOM!!!!!!! Seriously, good luck with your decision, whatever it may be.

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