My mom tells her friend her daughter is a nurse, and....

[yat777]

My mom tells her friend her daughter is a nurse, and for the two years that I have been a nurse I have been asked to do things beyond my scope of capability. Today, a friend of her ask my mom to ask me if I know any good orthopedic doctor who can fix a loosened hip replacement pin. I told her I don't know any doctors, because I work in an out-pt clinic inside a hospital and I have only been a nurse for 2 yrs. I am willing to ask more experienced nurses when I rtc to work on Tuesday after the holiday. But, her friend is in such a great urgency and my mom wants me to make phone calls to nurse friends. I told her my nursing friends are all young and inexperienced like me I doubt if they know. Then, she start talking to her other friend on the phone right next to me about her "sensitive and passionate" her daughter is when it comes to help people she doesn't even know. ...sign.......Have any of you have similar experience? Actually, I am very unwilling to refer any doctors if I don't know them personally, because if the surgery goes wrong I will be one of the people been blamed for. What will you do if you are in the same situation?

[Batman25]

Draw some boundaries. You need to have a frank talk with your mother about your feelings on this matter at once. Until you put an end to it she will continue. You don't have to be rude or confrontational but you do have to be firm and polite leaving no wiggle room.

"Mom, I am a new nurse. I am not comfortable referring people to doctors I don't know nor are my nursing friends. I'm also not comfortable giving info beyond my scope. That puts me in danger and I know you don't want that. I won't do it again. Your friends need to see doctors when they have issues. It is in their best interest. Thank you for understanding."

[caliotter3]

See if you can come up with an alternate way for your mom to acknowledge her pride in you becoming a nurse.

[RLeeRN]

You are obviously wise enough to know your limitations and not to direct someone blindly regarding their medical care. It seems all you have to do is assertively explain these concerns to your mom and to her friends face to face or on the phone, in order to educate them on what you can and cannot do, as well as whats in their best interest. I had a lady who was a friend from church who asked me to administer subcutaneous injections for her adult sons back pain therapy, and though I wanted to help, I explained to her that because RN's are licensed professionals there are restricitons that are placed upon them along with professional standards that keep us from entering into matters that could affect a persons health in a negative way. I hope it all works out well for all those involved. God bless.

Lee

[kakamegamama]

My sister used to tell everyone that I'm a nurse.....so, when asked for advice/doctor choices/etc., I would respond, with humor, with "I'm sorry, I don't know anything unless you weigh 10 lbs or less" (I was a neonatal nurse at the time.) They would usually laugh and the subject would change. If they pushed, I'd suggest they contact their doctor for a referral. And, know this---your mom must be very proud of you, and rightfully so.

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

Some of my family have asked me for doctor referrals too, even though I've been working in a new part of the country so I don't really know the reputation of alot of the dr's around here yet. I just encourage them to go onto websites where pt's can rate doctors and hospitals and to look at ratings.

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

Nobodys asked me for MD referrals but since the day I started nursing school I've been getting asked the stupidest questions from my family about whatever problem they are having.

My mother cut herself the other day making dinner. I'm getting ready to go to the gym. "I CUT MYSELF! I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT MY FINGER.. ITS A WOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I go downstairs and she has her finger over the garbage pail. "ITS BLEEDING A LOT!". Well duh mom you just cut yourself of course its going to bleed. "WHAT DO I DO?" Heres a band-aid. lol

Has she forgotten what to do when one cuts themselves?

[TheCareerStudent]

Kind of similar situation:

I haven't even started Nursing school and my mother thinks it is great that I will be an RN so that I can "wipe her butt" when she is old.....

WTH?!

[flo136]

I think you are doing the right thing. You don't need to do anymore.

You have said you could maybe try at work when you start again.

You have said you are a new nurse as are your friends.

You have been non-commital about referring to a doctor.

Leave it there. You have given your reasons and they are fair.

Personally, when family askes about medical/nursing issues of any nature at all, I just say |I don't know and |I'm not sure. It really can be a recipe for disaster.

[DeeAngel]

Tell your mother to shut it once and for all and for every request for something I would tell them "That's just not possible". Repeat as needed. Do NOT get into a discussion of why it's not possible because it's no one's business.

The other route you could take is to embarrass your mother; "I have no idea why she would mention such an odd thing to you, I work in an outpatient clinic, not a hospital and I don't know the hospital Drs at all".

I don't tell anyone anything at all for the very reason you mentioned. Refer them to their primary care physician for their recommendations.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Very simple answer. "Mom, from my nursing experience and from what your friend has told me, I think she needs to go to the urgent care center and she will be referred." Period.

[yat777]

Thank you all for replying my thread.......I will speak to my mom and tell her friend to find dr online...I know it's a complicate feeling when ppl come to you for medical advices. I mean I am happy ppl value my advices but nurse doesn't know everything. Nobody knows everything, not even the doctors