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My girlfriend is afraid that I might meet another girl in the nursing program...

Posted

(I'm a male) She has some concern, but honestly I don't blame her. I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students and we will all be working closely together. Also they say your classmates in nursing school become friends for life. This closeness with other girls seems to always threaten the current girl in your life in my experience. Also she said that I probably wont have that much time for her. 1 day per week I'm guessing?? I start nursing school in 1 year from now.

I do not plan on hooking up/dating any of my classmates because 1) I love my girlfriend and she could possibly become my wife 2) I do not want to jeopardize in anyway my schoolwork.

Input?

Your girlfriend needs to completely trust you. You are going to school to learn and become a nurse, not to hook up with other girls. There should not be an issue with other girls. Yes you will work with girls in nursing school but that is what happens in school. Yes, you might have to form a study group and that could involve girls. Your girlfriend needs to trust you!

I went through nursing school and I had to work with the opposite sex on projects and study groups but that never affected my relationship with my boyfriend. And nursing school should not affected your relationship with your girlfriend.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD

Specializes in Critical Care, Education. Has 35 years experience.

"I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students" - - on behalf of nurses everywhere - THANK YOU!! You may be surprised about the demographics of your classmates. Although the majority will be female, they are likely to be married, have kids and be 40 years or older. Not to say they won't be beautiful tho - LOL!!

I would suggest that you work on communication & trust with your gf - and visit the AN forums for male nursing students & male nurses. They offer very sound advice about how to relate to your fellow students & eventual co-workers in a way that does not create problems. Nursing school is difficult enough without adding that mess.

I really empathize with both of you. I'm female and married. One of the things I failed to anticipate is how hard my being in nursing school would be on my relationship with my husband. Being a nursing student is so demanding that I forget that my husband needs me too.

I hope you work things out with your partner. You will both need one another. Speaking frankly, there is very little time to socialize when you're in nursing school. The other thing is that even when you work in groups, you are so focussed on gettting the project done that any chance of romance flies out the window.

I guess I'm not the best person to give an opinion because I've been married a long time and have no romantic interest in other men. I guess it's different when you're young and single.

And as for beautiful looking nursing students - ha ha ha! By the end of the first term we all looked pretty haggard.

As sarah mentioned, it's an issue of trust. I don't mean to minimize your concerns, but television shows about the medical profession have no relation to reality. You don't have makeup artists and costume designers on hand to make you look good. And the lighting is terrible - even fresh faced 20 somethings wind up looking awful.

Nobody I know has ever "hooked up" not even for a quickie.

Good luck!

guest042302019, BSN, RN

Specializes in Progressive, Intermediate Care, and Stepdown.

I would really enjoy your girlfriend's company now. You are starting in year. It may be a bit premature to be overly concerned at this point.

As other posts said:

Work on trust. Build your relationship stronger. Use good communication. Yes, you will be around other women in school and for the rest of you nursing career. Not only only going to be around women, you'll have female patients you need to palpate, inspect, or bath.

Inform her. You won't see her nearly as much. Give her a schedule of your nursing obligations. Many people outside of the medical profession don't realize the sacrifice it takes.

Try to have a day when you do nothing related to nursing. Have some down time. A date day. Or, A date night. Focus your efforts on her needs during that day.

She is going to get frustrated and maybe lonely without you sometimes. Talk with her. Reassure her that this sacrifice is for both of us.

You will get tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated at times as well. Talk with your girlfriend and keep in the loop. Utilize the support she has to offer. It will be useful and relieving for you as well as she may feel more involved in your studies.

That's all I've got. Take care and good luck! Remember, don't stress over this too much. It's a year from now. Enjoy her and take care of this stuff when the time comes.

(I'm a male) She has some concern, but honestly I don't blame her. I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students

Umm, no, probably not. Certainly not "lots."

and we will all be working closely together.

Fair enough.

Also they say your classmates in nursing school become friends for life.

I think that is highly exaggerated. Particularly with the number of nursing students who are married with families and for whom this is a second career, this is less and less true.

This closeness with other girls seems to always threaten the current girl in your life in my experience. Also she said that I probably wont have that much time for her. 1 day per week I'm guessing??

Depending on your time management skills/other jobs/additional factors, this may be pretty accurate.

I start nursing school in 1 year from now.

I do not plan on hooking up/dating any of my classmates because 1) I love my girlfriend and she could possibly become my wife 2) I do not want to jeopardize in anyway my schoolwork.

Input?

It sounds like your girlfriend is pretty insecure. Have you given her reason to be so? Do you tend to flirt with other classmates/co-workers? If so, perhaps she has reason to worry. Regardless, a lot can happen in a year. You may or may not still be dating anyway. I'd make sure that your behavior towards your GF and towards other women with whom you work or study is top shelf. If you are trustworthy and have proven your loyalty and she continues to worry or obsess about this, perhaps she is not the right girl for you.

television shows about the medical profession have no relation to reality. You don't have makeup artists and costume designers on hand to make you look good.

hehehehehe good point!!!

Double-Helix, BSN, RN

Specializes in PICU, Sedation/Radiology, PACU. Has 9 years experience.

I agree that your girlfriend may have trust issues. How long have you been dating? Has she always been like that?

This could also be an indication that she isn't going to be supportive of your chosen career. Especially if she is voicing her distrust a year before you start the program. After all, you'll be working primarily with female co-workers. Is she also going to be jealous of the women that you might meet at work? Your female patients? How will she handle your OB rotation?

If you have a secure relationship, you should be able to easily convince her that you are going to nursing school to learn, not to meet girls. I guarantee that nursing school isn't going to be as glamourous as you both might be thinking. Yes, there will be some beautiful girls in your class- but there will also be other men, married women, and women in their thirties and forties and fifties. Yes, you'll be working closely with them- but that could mean standing next to them as you clean up an incontinent old man or change an infected wound. Not exactly the most romantic situations.

(I'm a male) She has some concern, but honestly I don't blame her. I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students . . . QUOTE]

You should remember that while there are lots of beautiful nursing students, you need to remind your girlfriend that she is the MOST beautiful woman in your eyes. Although you will be working closely with other students, it's the little things that you do every day to remind your girlfriend how significant SHE is that will matter. You might be very busy, but keep your date nights sacred. Good luck! :)

Pneumothorax, BSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care, Emergency Medicine, Flight.

Heres the lowdown and dirty> You will meet another girl when you start nursing school, however, you will soon find out that they will be the most irritating individuals you ever had the displeasure of spending 24 months with day in and day out.

You will literally kiss the ground ur gf walks on when u realize shes not like them. Tell her shes got nothing to worry about :)

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC & Hospice. Has 34 years experience.

Sadly enough...what is she going to think when you start working day in and day out. In nearly any industry there are at least some beautiful women. Trust has to be the key.

imintrouble, BSN, RN

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg. Has 16 years experience.

Threads like this make me feel so old.

Wave Watcher

Specializes in Community Health/School Nursing. Has 7 years experience.

Oh, sweet mother or pearl! Really? Okay, I have a very low tolerance for this. (for personal reasons)

1. You will not be going to school with beautiful soon to be nurses. It's must be a guys dream or a womans biggest fear.

2. You can walk outside to check the mail and run into a beautiful girl that lives next door.

3. If you're gonna cheat....then you're gonna cheat. Her insecurities are not going to stop you.

4. You will not form life long bonds with your classmates. I can almost guarantee that within a year of you graduating you probably will not talk to any of them unless you work in the same hospital/clinic/floor.

5. Your g/f needs to get a life and get over the fact that at any given moment you could dump her for another female regardless of where you are.

6. Nope you wont' have much time for her. She may need to find a hobbie.

7. If I seem a bit harsh....well....my hubby use to be the same way with me when I went to nursing school and guess what? He had two choices...1. Keep his crazy jealous ideas to himself or 2. Leave. We are still married so you can guess which option he took. You cannot succeed in anything if you have someone dragging you down verbally or physically. It will be demanding enough without "extra demands" from someone you love. I hope she supports you and you guys end up married for the next 50+ years! (and yes that was heart felt!)

Good luck and best wishes!

sunnynurse36

Has 6 years experience.

When I went to nursing school there ended up being 3 divorces and several break-ups, when my exhusband went to school I divorced him while he was in school, since he was habing an affair with one of his fellow classmates. Now he tells me how he messed up and she is nothing what he wanted..So it does happen, but it takes 2 to tango....:redlight:

MedChica

Specializes in Psych, LTC/SNF, Rehab, Corrections.

(I'm a male) She has some concern, but honestly I don't blame her. I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students and we will all be working closely together. Also they say your classmates in nursing school become friends for life. This closeness with other girls seems to always threaten the current girl in your life in my experience. Also she said that I probably wont have that much time for her. 1 day per week I'm guessing?? I start nursing school in 1 year from now.

I do not plan on hooking up/dating any of my classmates because 1) I love my girlfriend and she could possibly become my wife 2) I do not want to jeopardize in anyway my schoolwork.

Input?

Are you young?

This whole situation is silly.

She's insecure and with this whole 'You won't have time for me' stuff, obviously can't see the forest for the trees. I dont see how anyone can deal with a partner like that, but...hey - that's your business.

You likely feed into her self-worth issues with this, 'I'll be with lots of beautiful nursing students' mess. Do you tell her this, as well?

I don't know what you're expecting but most women in nursing school are usually too busy with school, work and homework to be creating 'nursing school romances'.

Wild Irish LPN, LPN

Specializes in Mental Health, Hospice Care. Has 2 years experience.

Dude...I haven't read any previous posts yet, but let me be honest with you....if you are on task and serious about nursing school, you will have no time to get to know your "girls" in class in any other way than as classmates/colleagues....any classmate you have , guy or girl, will be focused on the main prize: becoming a nurse....you will make some friends along the way, some may be like family when you are all done....but that will happen because of a great deal of respect and teamwork, not romance....tell your girl not to worry, this is serious business and there simply is no time for "hooking up"....good luck!....

To be honest there were several hook ups in nursing school. 1 guy for 20+ girls. Spending 40+ hours together combined with the fact that usually only other nurses it nursing students understand nursing school. It's not like other types of career paths. This is not like going off to be a teacher, not knocking teachers. Nursing school can consume your life and relationships that aren't strong going into it are not going to last. Period because at the point where you have more work than you can possibly manage and you girlfriend is on another jealous insecure tangent, you will have to make a choice. This comes from my personal experience only with jealous boyfriend. And I didn't even have guy friends in school.

Instead of worrying about your relationship, your girlfriend should be working constructively on strengthening your relationship. Then she won't have to be concerned with losing the relationship.