I posted awhile back about my friend who graduated from nursing school (now over a year ago) & delayed getting a job because she had elective surgery.
She is very smart (3.9 GPA in a very competitive program) & this was her second bachelors degree. But because she delayed applying for jobs (she was offered a residency before she even passed her boards) now she is having a very difficult time landing an interview, let alone a job!
She is applying to hospitals in San Antonio & has only had 2 interviews. I've tried to tell her to expand her search outside of San Antonio to smaller towns, but she doesn't listen. I also suggested that she apply to Kindred, the VA & LTC. She always has a bunch of excuses not to. She says she will get a hospital job. But the fact that she is applying to jobs in a city saturated with new RNs doesn't look good for her.
I almost have given up caring. She did it to herself & I've tried to give her suggestions but she just doesn't listen/care. I've been an LVN for 4 years, she's been an unemployed RN for 1. She says she's starting to give up & would rather bag groceries or go back to school, again. For her third bachelors degree.
It just irritates me because she does NOTHING to help herself. She just wants to whine. She doesn't take refresher courses, so it just looks weird having a 1 year gap. She talks about how all of her classmates have jobs. I think to myself, well yeah...you would too if you took that residency & didn't turn it down because it wasn't the speciality you wanted or had surgery. Ugh!
I want to thank everyone for all their replies. I now know what I have to do. If she continues I will just sweetly tell her the truth & move on. I have too much great going on for me to let her/the situation bring me down.
Yes!
Do you notice you are not as eager to talk about a great day at work or your latest success?
I had a friend like this. I have had so many wonderful things go on in my life in the past two years but I could not share it with her fully. It felt like I would be "rubbing it in her face" to tell her I got promoted, I got a pay raise, I got an A etc. when she is struggling and constantly unemployed or underemployed. Then I realized the issue was not me, and I found better friends to be happy with.
I do need a break from her. All she does is drain me. She will send me multiple, long texts about how bad things are going. I've ran out of sympathy. I don't know why she even applied for that job when she had no intention of taking it.
She came over yesterday & that's basically all she talked about. I know the job market is bad, but not /that/ bad. I think she might've gotten the hint when I stopped replying to her texts this morning.
She's turned down way too many plum opportunities to be able to expect anyone to feel sorry for her. Has she BEEN on AN to see all the threads from fresh new grads about their dozens, scores, hundreds of applications and no job??
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
She said she joined AN WAAAY back when she was in nursing school because she wasn't sure that she wanted to be a nurse. ? But I don't think she logs on often.
Since I had my son I feel like there has been a separation between us & I have been drifting towards other women my age who have kids.
Then her song will change to how it was so hard, the work was beneath her, nobody helped her, mgt didn't like her, the hours (holidays, weekends, inclement weather, etc) were all wrong, she wasn't being paid what she's worth (her opinion), etc etc etc.
Wait for it ...
For her sake, I hope she does OK, but I don't know ...
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Nope. The sequel may be coming out soon.
Any guesses how long she'll stay there?
Then her song will change to how it was so hard, the work was beneath her, nobody helped her, mgt didn't like her, the hours (holidays, weekends, inclement weather, etc) were all wrong, she wasn't being paid what she's worth (her opinion), etc etc etc.
Wait for it ...
For her sake, I hope she does OK, but I don't know ...
I know she's willing to work holidays/weekends/nights as she is childless but when it comes to relocating there might be a sequel.
Like I said, I hope it works out for her. Something finally pushed her into accepting (did she accept? Or was it just an offer?).
Another really recent AN poster somewhere here in another post commented something very wise -'nursing is a no joke job'. One has to work on working a nursing job. It's not easy. Kind of like working on a marriage to make the marriage work.
You can still be her friend but she is the only one to make the position (and her career) work.
Then her song will change to how it was so hard, the work was beneath her, nobody helped her, mgt didn't like her, the hours (holidays, weekends, inclement weather, etc) were all wrong, she wasn't being paid what she's worth (her opinion), etc etc etc.
Wait for it ...
For her sake, I hope she does OK, but I don't know ...
I have to admit that, given her attitude and track record, I'm also skeptical. I'd like for her to prove me wrong...but let's just say I won't be surprised if she doesn't.
I had an almost 2 year gap after graduating, and no one cared. For one, it is typical that it takes time these days to find work, even for seasoned nurses in many cases. Second, people have different reasons for waiting. In my case, I could financially afford to do so, but I don't think it matters. And a gap of one year hardly requires refresher courses.
Maybe your friend doesn't really want to work, or feels it is worth it to wait for the job she really wants.
Cuddleswithpuddles
667 Posts
Yes!
Do you notice you are not as eager to talk about a great day at work or your latest success?
I had a friend like this. I have had so many wonderful things go on in my life in the past two years but I could not share it with her fully. It felt like I would be "rubbing it in her face" to tell her I got promoted, I got a pay raise, I got an A etc. when she is struggling and constantly unemployed or underemployed. Then I realized the issue was not me, and I found better friends to be happy with.