I posted awhile back about my friend who graduated from nursing school (now over a year ago) & delayed getting a job because she had elective surgery.
She is very smart (3.9 GPA in a very competitive program) & this was her second bachelors degree. But because she delayed applying for jobs (she was offered a residency before she even passed her boards) now she is having a very difficult time landing an interview, let alone a job!
She is applying to hospitals in San Antonio & has only had 2 interviews. I've tried to tell her to expand her search outside of San Antonio to smaller towns, but she doesn't listen. I also suggested that she apply to Kindred, the VA & LTC. She always has a bunch of excuses not to. She says she will get a hospital job. But the fact that she is applying to jobs in a city saturated with new RNs doesn't look good for her.
I almost have given up caring. She did it to herself & I've tried to give her suggestions but she just doesn't listen/care. I've been an LVN for 4 years, she's been an unemployed RN for 1. She says she's starting to give up & would rather bag groceries or go back to school, again. For her third bachelors degree.
It just irritates me because she does NOTHING to help herself. She just wants to whine. She doesn't take refresher courses, so it just looks weird having a 1 year gap. She talks about how all of her classmates have jobs. I think to myself, well yeah...you would too if you took that residency & didn't turn it down because it wasn't the speciality you wanted or had surgery. Ugh!
Of all the nursing positions out there to pursue, I believe the 'golden fleece hospital position' is probably the most difficult to snag. Your friend has set herself up to fail. What a perfect excuse to wallow in self-pity or to suck it out of everyone else with the 'oh you poor little thing'.
So I'm back to my suggestions #1 & 3 and the new #5. She well may be realizing that she's not so special anymore.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I have officially stopped caring. I gave her every suggestion I could & she doesn't do anything. Hospitals have their pick of nurses, why should they choose her over a new grad? I would feel bad if she applied to every position she qualified for (in & out of the hospital) & still didn't have a job. But the fact that she isn't do that, I have no pity for her. She made her bed, now she has to lay in it.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Update: She was offered a position in the town I live in, but she turned it down. The job had a 2 year commitment/$2500 sign on bonus. We even offered her lodging so she could stay & work there.
Now all she does is complain to me & I'm really growing tired of it. I've given her suggestion after suggestion & she refuses to listen.
Update: She was offered a position in the town I live in, but she turned it down. The job had a 2 year commitment/$2500 sign on bonus. We even offered her lodging so she could stay & work there.
Now all she does is complain to me & I'm really growing tired of it. I've given her suggestion after suggestion & she refuses to listen.
IMO, I think you need to tell her--using simple 1 to 2 syllable words so she can understand--how foolish she is being, how entitled she is acting, and how her misery is no one's fault but her own.
Then I think YOU need to take a bit of a holiday from her, for your own sanity. She clearly prefers to drown, so let her. It's not worth you wasting any more time on her misery. No more ideas or suggestions, no more tea and sympathy. Focus on you and your career, and whenever she calls/writes/visits and starts complaining, shut it down immediately and change the subject or end the call.
Maybe once she loses her audience for whining and moaning, she'll stop whining and moaning and start doing something.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I do need a break from her. All she does is drain me. She will send me multiple, long texts about how bad things are going. I've ran out of sympathy. I don't know why she even applied for that job when she had no intention of taking it.
She came over yesterday & that's basically all she talked about. I know the job market is bad, but not /that/ bad. I think she might've gotten the hint when I stopped replying to her texts this morning.
Maybe its time you flat out tell her how you feel. Perhaps some honest words will make her realize how foolish she's being. Of course, you can be gentle with what you say. She sounds like she needs someone to spell things out for her. To turn down the offer she recently got was downright crazy. In this economy, beggars can't be choosers. I'm shocked that someone who has been out of nursing school for a year would turn down that opportunity you mentioned in your update.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Maybe its time you flat out tell her how you feel. Perhaps some honest words will make her realize how foolish she's being. Of course, you can be gentle with what you say. She sounds like she needs someone to spell things out for her. To turn down the offer she recently got was downright crazy. In this economy, beggars can't be choosers. I'm shocked that someone who has been out of nursing school for a year would turn down that opportunity you mentioned in your update.
I want to tell her how it is but she is SO depressed that I fear if I tell her it might push her over the edge.
Stop letting her rent space in your brain. Stop trying to solve her problems. She's made her bed, let her lay in it.
When she starts complaining, change the subject. "Gee, that's too bad friend. Hey did you see this weeks episode of Hells Kitchen? Can you believe what happened?"
amoLucia
7,736 Posts
Of all the nursing positions out there to pursue, I believe the 'golden fleece hospital position' is probably the most difficult to snag. Your friend has set herself up to fail. What a perfect excuse to wallow in self-pity or to suck it out of everyone else with the 'oh you poor little thing'.
So I'm back to my suggestions #1 & 3 and the new #5. She well may be realizing that she's not so special anymore.