My friend is still looking for work

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I posted awhile back about my friend who graduated from nursing school (now over a year ago) & delayed getting a job because she had elective surgery.

She is very smart (3.9 GPA in a very competitive program) & this was her second bachelors degree. But because she delayed applying for jobs (she was offered a residency before she even passed her boards) now she is having a very difficult time landing an interview, let alone a job!

She is applying to hospitals in San Antonio & has only had 2 interviews. I've tried to tell her to expand her search outside of San Antonio to smaller towns, but she doesn't listen. I also suggested that she apply to Kindred, the VA & LTC. She always has a bunch of excuses not to. She says she will get a hospital job. But the fact that she is applying to jobs in a city saturated with new RNs doesn't look good for her.

I almost have given up caring. She did it to herself & I've tried to give her suggestions but she just doesn't listen/care. I've been an LVN for 4 years, she's been an unemployed RN for 1. She says she's starting to give up & would rather bag groceries or go back to school, again. For her third bachelors degree.

It just irritates me because she does NOTHING to help herself. She just wants to whine. She doesn't take refresher courses, so it just looks weird having a 1 year gap. She talks about how all of her classmates have jobs. I think to myself, well yeah...you would too if you took that residency & didn't turn it down because it wasn't the speciality you wanted or had surgery. Ugh!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I also suggested that she apply to Kindred, the VA & LTC. She always has a bunch of excuses not to. She says she will get a hospital job.

Beggars cannot be choosers. The hospitals in San Antonio can cherry-pick from this year's crop of new grad nurses, so the recruiters and HR folks definitely do not have to deal with someone who graduated more than a year ago and has no experience. After all, San Antonio has more nursing schools per capita than any other large city in Texas.

Everyone (and their mamas) seems to want the exalted acute care hospital job, but your friend is not in the position to be picky. Those who want everything, end up with nothing!

If she would rather pump gas, flip burgers or bag groceries than use her hard-earned nursing degree to work in private duty, home health, hospice, nursing homes, psych, clinics, blood banks, community health, physical rehab, or other areas outside the hospital, then there's nothing much you can do to help her.

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

"I almost have given up caring."

Give up caring.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

"I almost have given up caring."

Give up caring.

Really? Thanks for the English lesson I don't need.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Beggars cannot be choosers. The hospitals in San Antonio can cherry-pick from this year's crop of new grad nurses, so the recruiters and HR folks definitely do not have to deal with someone who graduated more than a year ago and has no experience. After all, San Antonio has more nursing schools per capita than any other large city in Texas.

Everyone (and their mamas) seems to want the exalted acute care hospital job, but your friend is not in the position to be picky. Those who want everything, end up with nothing!

If she would rather pump gas, flip burgers or bag groceries than use her hard-earned nursing degree to work in private duty, home health, hospice, nursing homes, psych, clinics, blood banks, community health, physical rehab, or other areas outside the hospital, then there's nothing much you can do to help her.

Wow, I didn't know San Antonio had that many nursing programs. No wonder she isn't getting any calls. I've suggested all of the above areas & she is just dead set about getting a hospital position. I guess I'll just let her vent & tune her out.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

It is frustrating to have a friend who is seemingly asking you for advice, then shooting every suggestion down.

Your friend, unfortunetely, has made some poor choices, and now is paying for them.

Perhaps an idea is to get a masters in something with those bachelor degrees, and teach or something else. I am not sure what 3 bachelor degrees are going to do for anyone, except put one in debt. But by going back to school, one can defer those student loan payments...

All of this is a moot point however if your friend is just using you as a sounding board. Which is ok, a lot of nodding and Yup, uh-huh's and "that must be frustrating". If you are specifically asked "what should I do" then I would say "gosh, I am not sure. What do you think"....

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Really? Thanks for the English lesson I don't need.

It's not an English lesson. Since you stated you have almost given up caring, the previous poster is advising you to give up caring altogether.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

What commuter said. You misunderstood.

This friend wants what she wants, but she blew it, and she is not willing to do anything to help herself or accept anything else. There is nothing you can do for her.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Seems to me you have already spent more time on this than it was worth. Your friend is a grown woman, who will either do what is in her best interest (she's certainly gotten plenty of advice!) or she won't.

Your choice at this point is to continue to listen to her complain, or tell her you value her friendship but don't want to hear about that anymore.

Then stick to it.

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

I have a philosophy: I don't waste my time trying to save those who prefer to drown.

And this is exactly what your friend is doing--drowning in the job hunt because she's not willing to do anything to save herself. Whining and pouting does not get one a nursing job. Does she expect someone to hand her a job just because she had a 3.9? Does she expect you or your other classmates to stick their necks out and promote her to your nurse managers or HR departments, and essentially find the job for her?

It's OK for you to care about your friend--I won't tell you to stop. At the same time, you are under no obligation to do anything for her as far as the job hunt goes. She is in the hell of her own making, and only she can get herself out of it.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Thanks everyone. I guess it just hurts because she is soo smart & got into a really great ABSN program on her first try whereas I have been applying to community colleges, so I can bridge, for a long time. I know she's not trying to insult me but it hurts.

I LOVE being a nurse, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Whereas she became a nurse just because it's "steady work & a good paycheck".

I've offered her so much advice & she has yet to take any of it. I think it's time I stop & just do a lot of agreeing.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

....she became a nurse just because it's "steady work & a good paycheck".

Bet she's re-thinking that!