My Fibro

CCRN2BE · Jun 12, 2015

I think some people with chronic conditions that spend a lot of time at doctor's offices, going for all kinds of tests and in and out of hospitals begin to identify with their illness. It becomes a part of who they are.

I've seen it been identified as a badge of honor type of thing (think CA survivor), and also as a way to manipulate others with their neediness and refuse to take responsibility for themselves. They project a "woe is me" attitude and hide behind their illness. Use it as a crutch to blame their (unrelated) shortcomings on. Not to pick on any certain illnesses, because I know they are real conditions that cause much suffering, but in my experience, the individuals that tend to "use" their illness to their advantage have been those with MS, anorexia, cystic fibrosis and certain psychiatric disorders.

Again, I feel for these people who I'm sure are just trying to cope with a chronic illness the best they know how. However, dealing with someone who uses their condition as a shield against the rules the rest of us must follow and who plays on the emotions and sympathies of those around them is exasperating at times.

Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP · Jun 12, 2015

I don't believe what I just read came from the pen of a nurse. Patients with chronic diseases use it as a shield and a crutch to gain sympathy? Are you sure you're in the right profession? Wow...speechless. I'm speaking as a 22 year nursing veteran who suffers from a chronic debilitating disease......and I really hope you never get to suffer from one. Or perhaps maybe you should so you can gain some perspective. My chronic disease is incurable and painful, and impacts my life in every way imaginable, but still I manage to work full time, have a full life and go to grad school. Sometimes though, I can't keep up and sometimes I have to take pain meds and call out sick. Sometimes I even complain and whine a little, but until you've walked in these shoes and felt what it's like to have to live a very full and busy life while in pain and exhausted, it might be in your interests to keep your very ill-informed comments to yourself or you might just offend someone. Perhaps you should question your own bias when caring for your patients and try to feel a little empathy instead. Suffering from a chronic disease can exhaust the coping skills of even the most educated person, and some members of society have neither the coping skills nor the understanding to deal with the emotional toil and that manifests in behaviors that you find difficult to identify with. In those instances sympathy and empathy are far more useful tools than judgment and ridicule and as a nurse you might gain some perspective by reading a few research papers related to social and behavioral impacts of chronic disease. And yes, I have named my disease and the body part it effects as a way of injecting humor and identifying some kind of tangible enemy. Not everyone deals in the same way. This utter ignorance is frankly embarrassing.

Libby1987 · Jun 12, 2015

I have gut issues and have referred to them as "my gut issues". *They're* mine and *they* come with me everywhere I go. Even with careful food selection I always have gut issues, at best *they* are only managed, the careful food selection alone makes them ever present and definitely makes for a relationship between me and my gut.

I suppose it sounds weird but oh well.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Jun 12, 2015

I don't believe what I just read came from the pen of a nurse. Patients with chronic diseases use it as a shield and a crutch to gain sympathy? Are you sure you're in the right profession? Wow...speechless. I'm speaking as a 22 year nursing veteran who suffers from a chronic debilitating disease......and I really hope you never get to suffer from one. Or perhaps maybe you should so you can gain some perspective. My chronic disease is incurable and painful, and impacts my life in every way imaginable, but still I manage to work full time, have a full life and go to grad school. Sometimes though, I can't keep up and sometimes I have to take pain meds and call out sick. Sometimes I even complain and whine a little, but until you've walked in these shoes and felt what it's like to have to live a very full and busy life while in pain and exhausted, it might be in your interests to keep your very ill-informed comments to yourself or you might just offend someone. Perhaps you should question your own bias when caring for your patients and try to feel a little empathy instead. Suffering from a chronic disease can exhaust the coping skills of even the most educated person, and some members of society have neither the coping skills nor the understanding to deal with the emotional toil and that manifests in behaviors that you find difficult to identify with. In those instances sympathy and empathy are far more useful tools than judgment and ridicule and as a nurse you might gain some perspective by reading a few research papers related to social and behavioral impacts of chronic disease. And yes, I have named my disease and the body part it effects as a way of injecting humor and identifying some kind of tangible enemy. Not everyone deals in the same way. This utter ignorance is frankly embarrassing.

You don't sound like the type of person CCRN2BE is talking about. I'm thinking more along the lines of someone who demands that staff go to the gas station to buy them cigarettes and Cheetos while flailing around saying their blood sugar is low ....so you check it and it's 300. But- but- but ...they still need to go outside and smoke, even though it's not allowed. Their "low blood sugar" is making them anxious. Then they drop their cell phone on the floor and expect you to pick it up for them because of "the pain" ...the same cell phone they were carrying through the halls earlier while they paced around fighting with their boyfriend, barging into other patients' rooms and asking for a lighter.

Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP · Jun 12, 2015

You don't sound like the type of person CCRN2BE is talking about. I'm thinking more along the lines of someone who demands that staff go to the gas station to buy them cigarettes and Cheetos while flailing around saying their blood sugar is low ....so you check it and it's 300. But- but- but ...they still need to go outside and smoke, even though it's not allowed. Their "low blood sugar" is making them anxious. Then they drop their cell phone on the floor and expect you to pick it up for them because of "the pain" ...the same cell phone they were carrying through the halls earlier while they paced around fighting with their boyfriend, barging into other patients' rooms and asking for a lighter.

Possibly, but I still don't think laughing at dis-empowered, vulnerable patients of unfortunate and dubious social backgrounds and constraints on a public forum is very professional, do you?

dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2015

This will probably devolve into an argument about chronic illness but I don't know if sticking "my" in front of a disease alone warrants some deep thought into the nature of a patient's relationship with their disease.

I referred to "my cold" today. There were no profound implications with that one -- it just came out that way. I have talked about my addictions history on here using my alcoholism, I am an alcoholic, as an alcoholic, etc. You would be reading waaaaay too much into my posts to assume that how I outwardly address my addiction reflects my internal struggle with it.

Obviously this isn't the same for everyone and I have certainly witnessed people with chronic illnesses become entirely consumed by their new "identity" -- and I think it should also be noted here that separating and identifying your illness can be a part of the therapeutic process for some illnesses like eating disorders -- but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Emergent, RN · Jun 12, 2015

I had a life changing accident in Feb, and the rehab from it still consumes my life. I definitely refer to it as "My Accident".

Anything that causes a lot of pain and/or disability naturally becomes a all consuming entity.

Of course, patients vary in their innate temperments, and some people will use a hang nail to manipulate others. But that's another story.

Farawyn · Jun 12, 2015

My Fat.

Wish it wasn't.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Jun 12, 2015

Possibly, but I still don't think laughing at dis-empowered, vulnerable patients of unfortunate and dubious social backgrounds and constraints on a public forum is very professional, do you?

Of course not ...but I didn't see it as laughing at them. I understood it to be venting about the unreasonable demands people sometimes make for invalid reasons. I get a lot of patients like that on my unit and took the poster's comments very differently than you (and perhaps others) did. Just thought I'd thow that out there to create some benefit of doubt for the "offensive" post that might not have meant to come across that way.

roser13, ASN, RN · Jun 12, 2015

Possibly, but I still don't think laughing at dis-empowered, vulnerable patients of unfortunate and dubious social backgrounds and constraints on a public forum is very professional, do you?

Please show us the post in which someone was laughing at dis-empowered, vulnerable folks.

I for one thought that the CCRN2BE's reponse was very carefully and thoughtfully written. And I thought that your initial response was way overboard and accusatory without cause.

Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP · Jun 12, 2015

Please show us the post in which someone was laughing at dis-empowered, vulnerable folks.
I for one thought that the [COLOR=#003366]CCRN2BE[/COLOR]'s reponse was very carefully and thoughtfully written. And I thought that your initial response was way overboard and accusatory without cause.

I reject your observation. Read the initial post. It was snide and not becoming of a professional. Defend it any way you want but it's not appropriate. We all have experienced demanding patients but that's no reason to demean a patient's method of coping.