My Experience of Trans Ideology and Nursing

[nursingaround1]

In my last role as a school nurse there was a girl who, at the age of 11 told her parents she wanted to be a boy. So,, the parents did what they could and got help from various doctors and experts, and over the course of the next 3 years I got to know this student well, and regardless of what I thought on the matter, was able to support this student. The student knew I had a different perspective but we had a good working relationship and this student appreciated a different perspective eg I disagreed with the hormone blockers, chest compression brace and eventual male hormones. 

Anyway, during this student's time here, 2 close female friends of the student decided they were trans as well. The thing is, I believed they were not trans. I knew both of them had serious family issues, including a family divorce, and had also gone through the gambit of self harm - from cutting, eating disorders etc. But the rest of the group of girls all agreed they were trans, and encouraged this.

At about the same time this was happening, Brown university came out with a study looking into ROGD (rapid onset gender dysphoria) which showed that the vast majority of the teens and young adults coming out as trans, were not actually trans. They cited various issues, including media pressure as well as underlying, unresolved psychological issues. Unfortunately, because this study was not 'affirming' of their transition, the study was withdrawn due to media pressure. 

Anyway, regardless of my thoughts, these students were sent to the pediatric psychologist, who promptly refused to see them. I knew the psychologist very and and she confided in me that it's far too dangerous a minefield and she could easily lose her licence. She said that basically, any opinion that did not affirm someone as trans risked it all. A second pediatric psychologist I knew also refused to see them. 

Anyway, the school decided to go along with one of the girl's requests to be called a boy. I was not happy to do this, but did ask my manager if the girl's parents were aware we were calling their daughter a boy. My manager said 'Yes' the parents were aware. 

I was not convinced I was being told the truth, and about one week after being told the parents were aware, the headmaster had a talk with us in the health center, and told us that if we have any communication with the parents, not to call their daughter a boy or use her boy name ie we were told to lie to the parents. 

I was not happy to do this, and quit. And now I'm in the middle of the Australian desert having new adventures. 

 

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Sounds like being between a rock and a hard place. 

Wonder what you mean that the study was withdrawn due to media pressure.

[nursingaround1]

Are you not aware of the pressure out there? Many doctors and psychologists are refusing to see people with gender issues because they know they risk losing their license if they suggest that a person is not trans?

Here's an article I found on it:

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/09/brown-university-caves-to-trans-activists-protesting-research/

[Closed Account 12345]

"If the article comes from the nationalreview.com website, it must be true!" -No One Ever 

Here is my thought on this, and I am extremely conservative. It's not up to you as a nurse to decide who is "really" trans. It's your responsibility to be respectful. Does it harm you in any way to call someone by their preferred name or pronoun?

Now, I do agree that schools have no right intentionally deceiving parents, but that's something that staff should discuss with the student early on.  "We're happy to make these accommodations,  but please know that while we won't advertise them to your parents, we also won't hide them. Because you are a minor in their care, they have full access to xyz information from the school."

[nursingaround1]

When a person suffering from anorexia nervosa tells you they think they are fat - do you agree with them to make them feel better? Of course not. That is why I am reluctant to call a confused teen the opposite gender to what they are. 

[Closed Account 12345]

2 hours ago, nursingaround1 said:

When a person suffering from anorexia nervosa tells you they think they are fat - do you agree with them to make them feel better? Of course not. That is why I am reluctant to call a confused teen the opposite gender to what they are. 

Calling the person the name they prefer to be called isn't "agreeing" with them.  If a patient named Danielle at birth asks me to use the name Daniel instead, and I do out of respect, it doesn't mean that I think a biological woman is really a man. 

Personally, I believe that in the beginning, God created people as male and female. I believe that from Genesis through the New Testament, the Bible shows that God had a unique design for males and females meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. Neither role is more valuable,  but they are distinct roles and not interchangeable. God does not make mistakes. If someone is born as a biological male, I believe God's plan was for that person to live life as a male.  However, this world is not perfect, and we all fall short at living perfect lives. We are prone to living according to our own inclinations instead of God's word. It's why we need a savior.

Those are MY personal beliefs.  So again, calling someone who was born "Danielle" by their preferred name of"Daniel" doesn't mean that I agree they were born in the wrong body.  If the same person would prefer that I use "he/him," and I honor that simple request, that doesn't mean I believe that the female DNA and organs were formed by accident. If you had a patient named Katherine who asked you to call her Katy, you wouldn't say "No, that's not your given name, and I won't lie to you."  Honoring someone's preferred name is just a basic kindness and respectful. I wouldn't ever want to call someone a name that causes them pain.

Nursing isn't the place for me to force my personal beliefs upon others.  My patients don't know me personally. Why in the world would they care to hear my unsolicited thoughts on their gender identity? Nursing requires a therapeutic relationship where the patient feels safe. I may not agree with someone's life choices, and I certainly don't agree that God mistakenly put them in the wrong body, but I can still show genuine care for their well-being. 

[nursingaround1]

7 hours ago, Closed Account 12345 said:

Calling the person the name they prefer to be called isn't "agreeing" with them.  If a patient named Danielle at birth asks me to use the name Daniel instead, and I do out of respect, it doesn't mean that I think a biological woman is really a man. 

Personally, I believe that in the beginning, God created people as male and female. I believe that from Genesis through the New Testament, the Bible shows that God had a unique design for males and females meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. Neither role is more valuable,  but they are distinct roles and not interchangeable. God does not make mistakes. If someone is born as a biological male, I believe God's plan was for that person to live life as a male.  However, this world is not perfect, and we all fall short at living perfect lives. We are prone to living according to our own inclinations instead of God's word. It's why we need a savior.

Those are MY personal beliefs.  So again, calling someone who was born "Danielle" by their preferred name of"Daniel" doesn't mean that I agree they were born in the wrong body.  If the same person would prefer that I use "he/him," and I honor that simple request, that doesn't mean I believe that the female DNA and organs were formed by accident. If you had a patient named Katherine who asked you to call her Katy, you wouldn't say "No, that's not your given name, and I won't lie to you."  Honoring someone's preferred name is just a basic kindness and respectful. I wouldn't ever want to call someone a name that causes them pain.

Nursing isn't the place for me to force my personal beliefs upon others.  My patients don't know me personally. Why in the world would they care to hear my unsolicited thoughts on their gender identity? Nursing requires a therapeutic relationship where the patient feels safe. I may not agree with someone's life choices, and I certainly don't agree that God mistakenly put them in the wrong body, but I can still show genuine care for their well-being. 

There's a difference between name changes, and calling someone the gender they are not. There's also a difference in calling someone who is genuinely suffering from the condition known as gender dysphoria by their preferred gender, and some confused people taking up current trends, often ignoring their other mental health issues. 

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

Such a difficult age for so many reasons, and I think that students at that age are just trying to see where they fit in. I'm sorry this caused you moral distress, and I can understand your reasoning to an extent. However, I think that in this case I probably would be willing to go along with calling a student by any name they prefer. I know that our middle school recently added a LGBTQ club to their activities and some parents objected because they thought it was "promoting" what are still considered alternative lifestyles. There are people that throughout their lives will experience a somewhat fluid gender identity.

I know if someone had told me at age 9 or 10 I could decide to be a boy I would have said "heck ya!". My friends were mostly boys, I'd rather be out in the woods than get dressed up, I hated shopping (still do) I had nothing in common with most of the other girls. But unless you do start something medical like hormone treatment or surgical interventions, all those things can be temporary. But if the girls feel like experiencing the world as a boy is a better place for them for a while, there doesn't seem to be much harm to me. 

[Emergent, RN]

It's a complicated issue, and it's unfortunately been politicized, and sometimes even glamorized. Lots of good comments from everybody on this thread.

[Closed Account 12345]

2 hours ago, nursingaround1 said:

There's a difference between name changes, and calling someone the gender they are not.

I think part of the issue is that the terms biological sex (XX or XY) and gender (an identity spectrum based on feelings, affected by numerous life factors) are erroneously used interchangeably.  They're quite different. Your body determines one. Your mind determines the other. To me, male/female is 100% determined by body.

I would not call a biological female a male or vice versa. From a healthcare standpoint, biological sex must be considered (different organs, hormones, lab values, risk factors for conditions, possibilityof pregnancy,  etc.) With that said, I'd still be willing to call any trans person by their preferred name/pronoun.  Doing so doesn't hurt me or hurt their care.

[CalicoKitty, BSN, MSN, RN]

I work with Filipino nurses (among others), but I noticed that often they say the wrong pronoun regarding people (they often refer to both genders as "she"). Then I learned that in their native language, they only have one pronoun. Maybe our silly way of thinking of everything as "male/female" needs to change. It is on so many forms, different words for "Waiter/Waitress", etc. They are over simplistic and really it ends up with people feeling awkward because a girl likes the color blue or a boy likes cupcakes. It is stupid crap we force on people.

[klone, MSN, RN]

If the study you are referring to is the one I'm thinking of, you left out a very important part - that with loving support to explore their gender identity from the child's parents and other important adults, most of these children later discover that they are "just" gay (or non-hetero), rather than transgender. 

Denying their beliefs and refusing to call them by their preferred pronouns is hardly supporting them through the process.