So something happened today that confused me. I'm just about to graduate from NS, and I'm doing my final preceptorship. I made a couple of dumb mistakes today, nothing major, nobody got hurt, and all was fixable. However, I tend to be really hard on myself, especially when I feel like others are getting frustrated by my inexperience. I think this makes me a better nursing student, to at least acknowledge that sometimes I slow the "real" nurses down. I guess I called myself a moron under my breath and looked like I was about to cry. Which I didn't; I never cry where others can see. The nurse I was with told me that if I was such a perfectionist that I got mad at myself whenever I made a mistake, maybe nursing wasn't the right field. Now, she wasn't being mean, she was really patient with me all day, even when I mischarted something and it wasn't caught until later, by the MD. But it still seemed like a weird thing to say. Is there really such a thing as being too perfectionistic in nursing? I'd think it was a good thing! Maybe not beating myself up so much, but having high expectations for my own work. Thoughts?
liza, do you think she meant that you need to develop a thicker skin? the best of us will make mistakes; it's how we react that will determine who will learn and grow vs. learn and stagnate. if we get 'stuck' when erring, and continue to hyperfocus on how we screwed up, you'll burn out quickly and also miss out on many other learning opportunities.
do aspire to the highest of standards, recognizing no one, no one, no one is perfect. then dust yourself off and go forward. often the greatest heroes in life are those who made the most mistakes.
What I have been told by my instructor in this, my first semester as a nursing student, is...that I need to stop with the negative self-talk and to not talk to myself, especially in front of the patient. I don't know what the other nurse meant by her comment but I do the same thing like you described. I am a bit anal but I can let things go. I just don't like to make dumb mistakes and when I do, I say things under my breath like "that was dumb" or "ugh, I'm an idiot" or "why did I do that?". I'm not really trying to be a perfectionist, I just feel stupid for making a mistake and tell myself so as to remind myself to never do it again. I am "allowed" to make little mistakes from time to time (by my own standards) but I learn from them. That's just my latest experience.
I agree with all the other comments here as well from the more experienced nurses.:)
I, too, think that perfectionism is a GOOD thing in nursing, but then I'm also a perfectionist! :) It has its pros and cons. Some perfectionists are more "anal" about self-condemnation than others. The goals basically are excellence and success!!! I once had a boss who was also a perfectionist; during one of our discussions he said of himself: "I have failed my way to success". I've always thought that was such a great way to view the mistakes we have to make in order to succeed.
Specializes in ER/ MEDICAL ICU / CCU/OB-GYN /CORRECTION.
i have to take issue with this idea that nurses should be a "perfectionist".
i think that the very concept of wanting to be a perfectionist which is wide spread in our profession is one of the reasons that some in our profession are sometimes known to be trivial, competative and ones to "eat thier young".
perhaps some will call this symantics but i find a great difference between perfectionism and high professional/personal standards. part of achieving excellance is the journey --
getting frustated and overwhelmed with onesefl instead of learning to accept shortcomings only delays or blocks the tools necessary for learning and self assessment, as realizing when productive change has occured.
i have at times struggled with realizing that i am at all times fallible -- including my personal life as well as my professional.
years ago (more than i care to remember lol ) i recieved a 98 on a final exam -- in review i found that the professor made an error in grading -- of which i pointed out to her. the answer this learned and wonderful woman said to me was a life learning lesson ...
"i am sorry for the grading error and of course i will change the grade to 100. i see being perfect is critical to you.
i can not change however the rumblings of the the voice inside. it is this echo that will not afford you the patience ,self love and acceptance that you need to function in this world.
try to remember it is a process in time.
i only hope for to be at peace not only with the arrival of your goals but equally so with the vision and the journey that takes you there..
those words hit me and have remained with me to this day. i started to realize that it was when i only sought to be perfect that i could not allow my appreciation of the healthy pursuit of learning - and the intellectual or practical application of the knowledge i discovered. i have since come to know that striving to be a perfectionist is for me a character flaw and in fact keeps me feeling a sense of being less than and in constant negative flux.
"perfectionism is not the healthy pursuit of excellence, as most people tend to believe, but rather it is compulsive striving toward unrealistic goals.
setting high personal standards and goals, and working hard to attain them is appropriate.
however, perfectionists set excessively high goals and strive compulsively to achieve them. punishing themselves for mistakes and lowering self-esteem because they can't reach these impossibly high goals." david burns md (psychiatrist).
for me the constant striving for success became compulsive - increasing my anxiety, feelings of failure as well as decreased my sense of worth and contributing more mistakes.
there are studies that have demonstrated more mistakes occur with those workers who are perfectionist and as well increased feelings of failure and burnout. this is both on a personal level as well as in various industries.
professional or personal self worth and competancy can not be measured when one only gauges evaluation based on productivity and accomplishments. this comes as never ending cycle of defeat.
it has made a vast difference in my life having patience with the process of self accomplishment and realization.
i am defeated before i start when i allow the fear of making a mistake/failure to stop my attempts to reach my goal.
when i am able to shed this learned fear i then can look at behaviours that are not allowing me to reach where i need to be.
allowing myself to know that i can make errors and at times not the best decisions then i am free as well to learn create and seek my obligation to steps to the goal.
some of the ways i do this is trying to surround myself with objective and supportive friends, forming relationships with professional mentors who will support me while learning and as well giving back by mentoring when i can to others.i have learned to be willing to ask for help be it a quick explaination or a re orientation. realzing that not only a professional task but it is a personal obligation to stay current in nursing reseach and ongoing professional courses.
i do my best to shed "the condeming jury in my head" and consciously choosing to actively incorporate within that i can and will accomplish the task taken.
when i focus on my successes i see ongoing growth and gain in a better sense of self.
i have realized that i have learned to continue a terror avoidence of failure -- this is fed by perfectionism. unless challenged as this will never allow me to evaluate errors and look for more adaptive ways so that i can have happiness when i have accomplish a task or simply allow myself enjoyment. perfectionism does not afford for good patient care.
i have realized that being less perfectionistic minded and more willing to objectively assess myself as well as challenge to accomplish task i become a better practitioner and patient advocate.
a contributing factor in my worth is my ability to apply my skills professionally in a scientific manner but also as well as a professional art. however this is only one aspect ---others include my strive for self acceptance as a fallible human being -- trying to attend to my needs so that i can as well serve others in the best and most safest way i can. i can not allow my doubts /misnomers and mistakes become me.
unlike other professions we have allowed this pathologic view of perfectionism to be seen as a goal and to be chased after.
this has brought us to where nursing is today -- a shortage only as many of our collegues are terrified and too tired to practice as we have become overly perfected. perfectionism has (in my opinion) become a tool many times of anilihation.
a force of terrible career and personal destruction to the expense of many great men and women in this field who were (are) gifted professionals competent but unable to deliver in the system we have created and fostered.
can you imagine if physicians/educators/clergy treated each other as we often see on this board as nurses do to each other.
i learned when i was new in my nursing career about our industries perfectionism -- and what it can do if allowed...
when working in ccu - i had two patients both stable when i began an evening shift.
one (43yr old ) was to be transfered the next am to step down. he went down hill very unexpectedly and the situation deteriorated into a two hour code and another hour with the family supporting them in the loss of thier husband, son, and father.
in the mist of this i was able to take hourly vitals on my other patient and monitor her needs --- which were minimal and chart my findings.
i left the shift feeling very accomplished and that despite having the sudden death of my patient i had given both patients the care they deserved.
the next day i was called into the unit directors office and given a write up to go into my employee folder --that i had failed to give a medication to my other patient.
i remember my heart starting to race as i looked at the med error report and letter of warning. i could not believe that the medication it was the 9pm dose of colace. i could not believe this was happening and my mouth became so dry i could not respond.
( i had worked in this for 9 months in this ccu and had never made an error medication or clinical wise. i had a three month and six month evaluation that were both excellent and was being considered being promoted to charge)
the patient did not complain it was a coworker who noted that it was not charted -- who wrote the med error and then notified the nurse manager. in a blur signed the warning and took my copy.
when i presented my resignation letter the next day -- the nurse manager said "i hope your not resigning over the med error -- we really need nurses like you and you have been an asset to this unit "
i responded -- no mame i am not leaving over being written up. i am leaving as i can not trust my coworkers to teach me and you to supervise, support or professionally guide me.
frankly ms. ____ i find you dangerous as a leader to allow such expected perfection of your subordinates. i can not be part of the vision you have for an employee. i do not appreciate your methods.
however i have appreciated the evaluations i have gotten as well as the 9 months of working here.
thank you ms. _____ and i walked away out of the office.
this is the deadly perfectionism that i find neurotically pathologic and if tolerated can lead to a professional demise as well as that of ones spirit. i have over the years found perfectionist to be bullies when in management positions and as indiviguals when you talk to them consumed with self contempt.
now of course there are core priniciples in patient care that must be mastered so that no harm is done however i do think that it is not about reports/ implied threats and write ups but about what can be learned and how to prevent. when this is the goal only then will we be able to to improve to the mastery of our skills and improve the value of care for our patients and ourselves.
i am sorry this is so long but hope that it provides a different view in looking at perfectionism.
i also appreciate allowing me to share with you all.
I have to take issue with this idea that nurses should be a "PERFECTIONIST".
"Perfectionism is not the healthy pursuit of excellence, as most people tend to believe, but rather it is compulsive striving toward unrealistic goals.
Setting high personal standards and goals, and working hard to attain them is appropriate.
However, perfectionists set excessively high goals and strive compulsively to achieve them. Punishing themselves for mistakes and lowering self-esteem because they can't reach these impossibly high goals." David Burns MD (psychiatrist).
Marc
" IT IS WITHOUT A VISION THAT THE SOUL
PERISHES"
Wow, thanks so much for sharing this. I have experienced similar events, especially recently, which make me not trust some my co-workers. Especially when you bend over backwards to be a good nurse. If you can't trust your "team", you are lost.
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
I think this lady meant well, but she was wrong in my estimation. You don't have to believe or take to heart everything people tell you. As you get more confidence in how you practice nursing you will come to believe that. If it weren't for your drive to be perfect you wouldn't advance and grow in the profession.
you are conscientious and thorough...and you care. if you didn't care, it wouldn't bother you.
but, you are being much too hard on yourself. when was the last time you heard a doctor say "Oh i'm such an idiot!" or "i'm so stupid", etc. i'll bet NEVER. so, why does it seem ok for a nurse to do that???
I guess the problem really is that I'm used to being GOOD at many things. Nursing is all about circumstance - the same basic task takes on endless permutations depending on the context. Not as easy to be a wiz kid...
One of the common personality traits of SUCCESSFUL NICU nurses is "ana* retentiveness". Just ask an experienced nurse in your unit. S/he will agree.
Checking, double-checking, and re-checking becomes as natural as breathing. It is not quite the same as perfectionism, which will never be attained, but it is close. It is this type of behavior that protects our tiny, defenseless patients, and it is this level of conscientiousness that makes us darn good at what we do.
I guess the problem really is that I'm used to being GOOD at many things. Nursing is all about circumstance - the same basic task takes on endless permutations depending on the context. Not as easy to be a wiz kid...
You'll be a good nurse, just don't get tripped up trying to be perfect. Sometimes we have to let some of that go.
You're right about nursing not just being cerebral. There's instinct, critical thinking, common sense and a compassion and caring that no text book can teach you. Sometimes to be more most compassionate is the time your the least perfect. If that makes any sense at all.
Specializes in Tele/ICU/MedSurg/Peds/SubAcute/LTC/Alz.
So far in my three months working as a RN in a Nursing Home - I have made mistakes that I keep worrying about. Thanks for this forum it made me realize that - everyone makes mistakes and even though others may doubt you for it they have made mistakes as well.
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
liza, do you think she meant that you need to develop a thicker skin? the best of us will make mistakes; it's how we react that will determine who will learn and grow vs. learn and stagnate. if we get 'stuck' when erring, and continue to hyperfocus on how we screwed up, you'll burn out quickly and also miss out on many other learning opportunities.
do aspire to the highest of standards, recognizing no one, no one, no one is perfect. then dust yourself off and go forward. often the greatest heroes in life are those who made the most mistakes.
leslie