too much of a perfectionist???

jgwe4e · May 12, 2006

We all make mistakes--perfection is an impossible goal--but never give up your high standards. What's important is to learn how not to beat yourself up over the mistakes. Learn from the situation, fix it, and go on. That can be a very hard thing to do when you're a perfectionist, but you'll learn that skill just as you have so many others.

WOLFE, BSN, RN · May 12, 2006

Don't give up on your high standards...however learn not to judge yourself so harshly as jgwe4e said...take it from one who is a perfectionist and is still going strong...your patients and fellow nurses will appreciate your high standards, you will just need to learn how to deal with them when you do make an error....and let me tell you everyone makes mistakes.......

PANurseRN1 · May 12, 2006

You do your best as a nurse. Face the fact that you will never be perfect; you could always do something "better."

I mean this in all kindness: you really should think about some brief counseling/therapy. Calling yourself names is not healthy. That someone else heard you call yourself a name out loud is even worse. You need a strong self-esteem to have any staying power in this profession. Best to work on it now before you really do some damage to your psyche.

White Shoes · May 12, 2006

I think the others are right... don't give up your high standards. I have been called perfectionistic in the past, but that really isn't the problem. The problem is how we deal with the mistakes we do make. Nursing is a journey during which I have learned many things... one of the most important is how to balance high standards with the reality that I am human. I make mistakes. Rather than beating myself up over them, the best thing I can do is swallow my pride, say "yeah... I should have done that differently", and go on.

Don't condemn yourself over your mistakes, or over the time it takes for you to get things done... that's just counter-productive and you're placing unrealistic expectations upon yourself. We all have our weaknesses, faults, and mistakes: its how we handle them that will make the difference in how we enjoy our profession and how we gain respect of our co-workers.

Try to look at all of your experiences- good and bad- as an opportunity to grow and learn. Be honest with yourself and others when you blow it, and look to improve with every bump in the road you face.

I wish you well.

Blessings,

White Shoes

LoriAlabamaRN · May 12, 2006

I can't think of a more appropriate profession for a perfectionist, actually. Just don't beat yourself up over little things, but recognize that your high standards will undoubtably save lives.

TazziRN, RN · May 12, 2006

There is no such thing as a perfect nurse. As little as many would like to admit it, ALL nurses make mistakes.....sometimes minor, sometimes major. The important thing is to learn from them and move on.

I understand what the nurse you were following meant: there is nothing wrong with having high standards for yourself, but to beat yourself up over mistakes is not a good thing. If you can't accept mistakes from yourself, how can you accept them in others?

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 12, 2006

Having realistic high expectations of yourself is a good thing. Perfectionism always disappoints and frustrates.

This nurse was probably just concerned that you might be beating yourself up too much for being human. That first year or so there are going to be many moments when you go "doh!" or "I didn't know that". So keep your feet on the ground, keep your standards high, and "beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself".

RENAISSANCE RN · May 12, 2006

Perfection kills creativity. The pursuit of pefection will make you nuts. Pursue excellence. I am like you, I take things to hard and feel awful. I am trying to change and as tweety said " be gentle with myself"

You'll be an excellent nurse. Nursing instructors are there to help, mine is pretty awful too ! I think the time spent as a student never ends, alot of nurses I know learn something every day. Good luck!

katy_kenemy · May 12, 2006

just my opinion, but being a perfectionist is wrong for nursing. because if you want to do everything perfect, you will never go home. i think someone on allnurses once said the thing was to not get all upset over stuff that was not worth it, and i think that is key. i find the perfectionists get upset over every little thing and take forever to get the simplest task done, and need help constantly.

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 12, 2006

just my opinion, but being a perfectionist is wrong for nursing. because if you want to do everything perfect, you will never go home. i think someone on allnurses once said the thing was to not get all upset over stuff that was not worth it, and i think that is key. i find the perfectionists get upset over every little thing and take forever to get the simplest task done, and need help constantly.

The other thing I notice about perfectionists is that they are constantly disappointed in those around them for not meeting their same standards. They are hypercritical of others as well as themselves and can sometimes be very unpleasant people to work with because they are never satisfied and complain frequently.

Not you of course Elizabells. Not you. :)

allnurses Guide · May 13, 2006

The other thing I notice about perfectionists is that they are constantly disappointed in those around them for not meeting their same standards. They are hypercritical of others as well as themselves and can sometimes be very unpleasant people to work with because they are never satisfied and complain frequently.
Not you of course Elizabells. Not you. :)

This is exactly what I thought.

Coming to nursing at 40 years of age, I was surprised at how little "slack" nurses give each other. I was taught that this is a 24 hour a day job and sometimes due to the sheer number of things that need to be done in a shift, you don't get things done. Or you forget to do something. No one is perfect and striving to be perfect, without mistake, error-proof is something that is unattainable and will make your job very frustrating.

This does not mean that we should be lackadaisical or accepting of sub-standard nursing care.

And please when you graduate and start to work, don't get involved in those "shift to shift" wars.

Learn from your mistakes, try not to make mistakes, be gentle with yourself when you make them and be gentle with others too.

steph