Mistake made 3rd time in a row almost lost job already!

[FutureNurse2B]

Hi all,

I'm in serious need of encouragement here. I have been working as a nurse for 11months now, everything was going good until about 3months ago. I work in pediatrics on night shifts and mistakenly have hung the wrong bag of fluids 3times now! I know I know.....Sounds terrible because it is terrible and I realize the severity of it. Once I hung D51/2 Normal Saline and the order was for D5 1/4 normal saline. Another time I hung D51/2 +40mEq of K and the order was for D5 1/2 +20k. And the 3rd time I hung D5 1/2 +10k and the order was for D51/2 +20k. Its not like I don't understand what each bag of fluid is because I know what the bags mean and I know how to pick out bags of fluids. I was given a verbal warning the first time, my manager just wanted to bring it to my attention. The 2nd time I was given a written warning but the 3rd time I was not only given a written warning but I was threatened that the next time it happens I will be terminated because it is a medication error and I was put on a 6week probation where I had to have weekly meetings with the manager.

My 6weeks are up but it has been absolutely HELL for me! Half of the staff is middle aged (30s, 40s) and half of the staff are really young, in their 20s. My co-workers have seemed to stray away from me (Since roomer is out that I'm on probation) and instead of helping me to get better everyone seems like they are just picking on tiny things to get me in trouble. They are reporting every little thing I do to the manager and instead of just coming to me personally and speaking with me about something I did, or did not do, they go straight to the manager who in turn, emails me or mentions a complaint at our weekly meetings. I recieved a complaint about the way I give report. The way we give report at my job is not one on one, its more like one on 6nurses. You go in the room and report to all the staff on the floor (nurses, CNA's, sometimes nursing students) and when all the nurses from the previous shift report off, the oncoming shift picks and chooses what patients they want. My manger wrote me in email that people have complained and said that I seem like I don't know whats going on with my patients and that when a question is asked I don't know the answer and simply say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" which is true but I kinda feel like if I don't know the answer then what did they expect me to say.

One time I had a patient who was on contact precautions but nobody knew what organism she was infected with. When I gave report, I reported off the same thing that the previous nurse had reported to me which was "the patient was on contact for a rare bug". When I said that, they had asked what bug is it? And I told them I'm really not sure all I know is that it is a bug we do not know the name. I should have asked the doctors but I did not that night. So immediately a nurse who had been there for about 15years, fished around in the computers and managed to pull up the name of the bug. It took her a while to figure out how to find it but she knew exactly how to look it up. I have only been there 11months and my preceptor never taught me that you can look up stuff that way. So I honestly, (as I said in report) did not know until now. This exact topic was reported to me from my manager and I told her that if I had known all I had to do was click on this button to get the answer, I would have done so but I didnt think its fair for them to say I don't know whats going on just b/c I didnt know the exact

Its little things like this I feel people are picking on. Its not that I don't know whats going on, its just the way I am. I"m a very cool calm collect person, people might think I don't care but its just that Im always a calm person under any conditions.

Alot of complaining and telling the manager goes on at my job. It seems like I'm back in high school again with immature he said she said stuff. I feel like I want to quit my job already and go somewhere else but I can't because I've already had the hospital pay for me to go back to school so I have a committment with them. I have not goofed up on my fluid orders since my incident but it seems like ever since then, I have been under a microscope and people are watching my every move. I feel like I can't make mistakes anymore b/c if I do, someone will run and tell the manager and I will get fired. I feel like I've improved so much but people fail to acknowledge it at all. I also feel as if everyone has turned their cheeks on me and everyone thinks I'm this terrible new nurse who doesn't deserve to work here b/c I'm not a safe nurse. My self esteem and confidence as a nurse are so low I've even told myself that maybe nursing is not for me. My ego is so bruised, I just don't know how to feel better from this low low point that I"m at. It sucks having everyone against you or feeling that way at least. I feel intimidated to tell my manager all this b/c I feel like she will tell the senior staff and then roomer will get out again and I will eventually be fired. Im in a win/lose situation. If I talk to my manager I'll probably feel better but the rest of the staff will continue to harass me. If I don't talk to my manager the staff will still continue to harass me until they find more things to pick on me for.

So someone help. What do I do? How do I bring myself back up and how do I ignore those who are trying to bring me down without feeling like I should just quit my job? :angryfire

[Jules A, MSN]

Hi,

I'm sorry this is happening. Its not unusual for the microscope to come out when errors are documented like this so try not to take it personally. You will need to make double sure to cross all t's and dot all i's for a while to gain their confidence. I would ask for help/clarification as often as necessary to ensure that the same mistakes don't happen again and hopefully get some support among your peers. Personally I'd much rather someone bug me with questions before the fact than make mistakes without being humble enough to seek help. Hang in there.

[Wanna_BA_Nurse]

I hate to say this, but they have good reason to fire you. I mean, you sound like a nice, concerned person, but these mistakes could cost someone their life...and I don't think you'd want that on your shoulders for the rest of yours.

However, You are a beginner so I think they should be more compationate towards you. How rude of them.

If you really want to change, it'll happen. The human mind is a powerful thing. Maybe you could try explaining how you feel towards your boss? Also, if you are feeling a lot of stress, just quit. There are plenty of nursing jobs out there.

Good luck! I hope you feel better! ~ Vanessa

[rn-jane]

These are some serious mistakes especially in a pediatric unit. Maybe you need to get off the night shift for awhile and have another nurse follow you when you hang your Iv's just to double check you. Once making a mistake I can see but for some reason, whether you are tired or just not understanding the order there is a problem. Your coworkers are probally prejudging you by your prior mistakes and I feel for you but maybe you need a mentor right now to figure what the heck is going on. I take it you don't use the handhelds at your facility for med passing which would certainly prohibit mistakes being made. Right now girl you are being judged under a microscope and just because some nurse gives you a half-@#$ed report you cannot do the same. You will have to work harder to gain confidence back from your unit. Go to your preceptor or another experienced nurse on the floor, tell her your concerns and see if she can help you out by checking your administrations. It will at least show you are trying to fix the problem. My heart feels for you as a preceptor and experienced nurse so if you would like to pm me I'd liked to help you if I can.

[caliotter3]

If it were me, I would get another nurse to accompany me when I hang IVs and check my work before and after. It would certainly be worth it if it prevents you from being fired. If you can get the supervisor when she is not busy, that's ok too. Anything to keep from making this mistake again.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Here's the thing. These are med errors, and making not one, but three of them, will draw attention to you. It's a shame that rather than help you get better, your coworkers are picking apart your practice, but that is the reality of your situation.

Along with the other good advice you've been given, I'd say you should reassure your NM that you are aware of the gravity of your mistakes, that you take them very seriously, and offer no excuses. Every single critique of your performance, be open to learning from and showing improvement. Do not make excuses for anything.

For example, the nurse that looked up the specific organism that the patient was on precautions for, say something like "Oh, wow, I did not know you could look that up. Thanks for showing me that, I will do that next time!", and mean it. Be genuinely grateful to her for taking the time to show you that. She has done you a favor.

As far as this:

"How do I bring myself back up and how do I ignore those who are trying to bring me down without feeling like I should just quit my job?".

You just do. It's within you. Your attitude and approach toward solving this problem comes from within you. We can all give you advice, but ultimately, you are in charge of where you take it from here.

Some situations in life call for just toughening up and dealing with them. This is where cliches like "Just Do It", "Suck it up", and "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it" come from. At times like this, I sometimes picture myself pulling up my hip waders and wading right into that river of excrement.

Best of luck to you!

[ICURNIAM]

Feel very lucky that you still have a job. I made one mistake at my 5 month after graduation (not on orientation anymore) limit and got fired. One mistake only.. I had never made another med mistake, other stupid mistakes while on graduation. I would love to have another change, but I was fired the same day I made the mistake. Given no chance, had never gotten a verbal/written or otherwise just fired....So be thankful that you're given the chance to prove yourself. I'm just sitting here with no job, judging myself....

[caliotter3]

Not to be a naysayer, but sometimes people get fired over mistakes that are "alleged" to have occurred. We had a nurse who went around committing med errors and then running to the DON and accusing other nurses of making the errors. She only got dealt with when she did this one time and the patient (not her assigned patient) died as a result. She was the one who got fired that time, instead of the nurse who she accused of making an error. You have to do everything to insure that you don't make mistakes or can be accused of making mistakes. Since your reputation is already tainted at this place, and your colleagues are smelling your blood, it might be in your best interests to find a new home and go on your own terms. It just might be better for you in the long run.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Once your colleagues are avoiding you it's a done deal.

[FutureNurse2B]

Thanks for the advice all,

Since the mistake I have never made it again b/c everytime I hang fluid bags, I'll hand it to another nurse to check and make sure its the right one. I guess third time is a charm b/c I've really straightened up but I just feel my transformation is not enough for these people. They want me to be absolutely PERFECT now. So I guess I will always be under a microscope with them? Maybe you all are right. Its been almost a year I've been a nurse and maybe its just time to move on and start off on a clean slate. I don't think I will gain anyone's trust again b/c thats the way these women are at my job. They are very gossipy and seem to hinder others instead of picking people back up and helping them. As I said, I'm literally back in high school again. I had no idea grown women can act this way. I hope its not like this everywhere b/c if it is, I'm screwed.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

It's not like that everywhere.

[DA314]

It sounds like they are putting you under the microscope because you made a very serious mistake (that was caught) 3 times. They are trying to see what mistakes you are making that aren't being caught. I am glad that they are keeping you on your toes. It isn't that I think you are a bad nurse, I just think it sounds like you need help in being precise in your work.

I think if you keep doing well, not making major mistakes, after awhile things will calm down. Jsut try to remember that you went to school and are trained for this, and try to think like a student (i.e, you aren't confident so you constantly double-check yourself).

Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll recover from this and turn things around!