Millions of nurses can do it. Why can't I??

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2006

Regardless of what it was like 30 years ago, us older nurses are dealing with the same job discription that the new grads have. We only have the benefit of experience, but it doesn't mean it's any easier on us, because we're in 2006 same as you, have the same worries and concerns.

You might do well to find a mentor, someone you admire, someone that seems to be a good nurse, providing good care, but doesn't go home at night crying, taking medications are get ill. How do they cope, what is their day like, what do they cling to holistically and what do they let go of? How do they organize their time.

There comes a reality shock/brick wall where we have to accept that the "real world" isn't like the book and we just have to do the very best we can. Many times I feel like I've let my patients down, that there's more I could do and I want to be supernurse and do it all. Some days I'm stressed to the max and wonder if I'm going to explode.

Good luck to you in whatever you do.

Altra, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2006

I'm a nurse w/just one year of experience also, so I can't speak for the "good old days". But I think it stands to reason that the acuity of hospitalized patients, on the whole, tends to be higher now than years ago. So many of my instructors and nurse mentors with many years of experience have continually commented that today's med-surg patient was yesterday's (figuratively) ICU patient. This greater acuity means more intensive treatment/care.

It comes down to how you view yourself as a nurse. Remember that holistic care does include assessments, meds & treatments, not just the comfort measures.

I too have been awed, humbled and sometimes frightened by the meds I give and the other ways I manipulate another human being's physiology. I literally break a sweat every time I give Adenosine and see that temporary flat line on the monitor before the rhythm resets itself.

I work in an urban ER. At first I was nearly traumatized by some of the things I saw/heard/did. But I've found my mostly comfortable niche. It's frequently not pretty, but on almost all days I can honestly say that I feel like I've contributed meaningfully. This doesn't mean that I solved all the problems, or even any of them, for my patients, but I feel comfortable with my contribution. Some nights the onslaught of human drama is too much, but for the most part the tension leaves me by the time I've driven 40 minutes to get home, or shortly after that. I hug my family, eat a bowl of cereal, and (mostly) let it go.

Also, this is just purely my own two cents worth of opinion, but I often feel that those of us who come into the profession sometime after our early 20s may have a bit of an advantage in some ways: life has already thickened our skin somewhat, and simply being alive on the planet a bit longer tends to help you accept your own role. All of us can be an individual force for change some of the time, but not every day.

This has turned into a ramble, but I hope that something in here helps you. Hugs, Peachy.

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jul 11, 2006

I learned early in my career to spend 10 minutes decompressing my shift, going over what I did right, and what I could improve upon. I spend a few minutes going over in my mind anything I forgot to do or report and then I take care of it so that I can resist the urge to 'call back' and report 'one more thing'.

Then, I let it go. I force myself to put the shift behing me.

Some days, I take solace in just a simple, "at least I didn't kill anybody today".

Sometimes, a specific case still 'gets in my craw'. But, these days, when that happens, I'm saavy enough to know its BECAUSE there is something I need to learn from that case.

If you take your work home, it will eat you up. You have to be conscientious at work, and that be satified by your efforts.

It is a good strategy and works for me.

I'm a nurse. But, I'm also 'just a person' when I'm not being a nurse. I set up a firewall between the two. That's good advice.

(allnurses is an exception, but I find this place comforting, not stressful.)

~faith,

Timothy.

jenrninmi, MSN, RN · Jul 11, 2006

Also, this is just purely my own two cents worth of opinion, but I often feel that those of us who come into the profession sometime after our early 20s may have a bit of an advantage in some ways: life has already thickened our skin somewhat, and simply being alive on the planet a bit longer tends to help you accept your own role. All of us can be an individual force for change some of the time, but not every day.
This has turned into a ramble, but I hope that something in here helps you. Hugs, Peachy.

I think that's a possibility. I never had those overwhelming feelings when I started as a new nurse. I worked Neuro/Trauma for ~9 months and now Home Health. Not every day is perfect, and I'm starting to think about going down to part-time (mostly because I'm not used to working 5 days a week) but have never hated my job and never thought that other nurses were taking shortcuts - making me look slow as the op states. :uhoh3:

piperknitsRN · Jul 12, 2006

It may seem obvious, but sometimes one's work environment plays a huge role in job satisfaction. After one year of nursing experience, I recently switched jobs from staff nurse to travel nurse, and went from a mid-size teaching institution to a large private institution. My patient population at my old staff nurse job was mostly medical "telemetry" from nursing homes, so we saw lots of confused, combative Alzheimer's patients; now the majority of my patients are stepdown post-CABG patients, who are alert and oriented and relatively independent with ADLs and ambulation once they begin recovery from surgery.

When I quit my job as a staff nurse, I faced many of the same feelings as you did; constantly anxious and stressed out about my job, feeling as if I never had enough time to be the nurse I wanted to be or give my patients the care they deserved. I was so stressed out that I never slept properly, lost 15 lbs without dieting, and in the end became physically sick from the stress. I, too, felt I had perhaps made a mistake in my career choice and wasn't cut out for this nursing gig. In retrospect, I now realize it was the environment in which I practiced nursing that made me feel insecure and stressed out, and therefore feel like a nursing "failure." Veteran nurses told me I was a good nurse, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it.

Now that I am in a different, much more supportive environment, my whole attitude towards my job and my life has improved dramatically. I feel much more competent and confident in my abilities, and can't believe I stayed in such an unhealthy environment for so long! I am so much happier and have a much more positive outlook on my career choice.

You sound like a very conscientious and diligent nurse. My advice: don't give up! There is nothing wrong with you or your feelings; they are very normal. Being a good nurse is tough, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Try not to beat yourself up and give yourself credit for all that you have accomplished thus far.

Obviously, one's individual solution is probably going to be more complex than simply finding a new job, but if some of your stressors are due to systematic work environment failures (inefficient and poorly managed work policies, for example) you may benefit like I did from changing jobs--whether that means switching floors, going to a different hospital system altogether, or what-have-you.

mtngrl, ASN, RN · Jul 12, 2006

This is similar to many posts. But what I have found is that many people say they cry themsleves to sleep, they are taking medications for anxiety, I've had health problems because of stress. Is this an acceptable result for a profession? Where does it end and is it only going to get worse Did nurses 20-30 years ago have the same problems??
I feel exactly the same as you do. I worry so much about the patients. When I worked in the hospital I constantly checked on my patients over and over, while other nurses sat in the lounge and talked. I'd go home and worry about them some more. Nursing is so much more stressful then I thought it would be. The responsibility can be overwheming for some of us. A lot of days I don't want to go to work and be that responsible person. I asked a nurse who works in a hospital ER and does well and who isn't unhappy and stressed like me how she does it. She said her secret is "don't give a s**t". Yeah....that's how some nurses do it...they DON'T CARE...so they DON'T worry like us and get stressed out. That is an awful thing huh! I don't think I will be a nurse for a long time. I need to do something where I feel happy and not worried all the time. Do you plan on staying in nursing?

New2ER · Jul 17, 2006

I can understand the frustration that you're experiencing. I've been a nurse for 5 months now. I started in ICU. I stayed for 2.5 months and was absolutely miserable. I didn't make any mistakes, I was complimented by co-workers and supervisors but I absolutely dreaded going to work every day. I couldn't get past the fact that I could make a mistake or miss an assessment and really hurt my patients. I've switched to the ER now and find that, while the job can be difficult and stressful, I enjoy being there. I get the instant gratification of solving the patient's problem and I have available coworkers and doctors right there all the time if I have a question about something. Coworkers in the ICU I was in never seemed available because they were busy with their own patients and the charge nurse barely had a year experience in ICU (although she'd done telemetry for 10 years). The doctors in the unit came and went and were very inaccessible. I started to doubt my choice of careers until I went to the ER. I think the hardest thing about leaving nursing school is finding the niche where we fit. Unfortunately, it takes time and patience. Next week I'm starting a per diem position on a behavioral health unit. Behavioral health is the specialty I wanted while in school but before going head first, I'm gonna test the waters.

Ayonti · Jul 19, 2006

I understand what you went through. I am a new nurse with no nursing experience. I ended up quitting my first nursing job after 3 months. I am now unemployed wondering what am I going to do now. During the 3 months I had 3 different Nurse managers and 8 different preceptors with all their different ways of doing nursing. I developed anxiety, depression and cried almost everyday. My hair fell out. On my days off I would cry about going back to work. I was 131 lbs when I started and had lost 15 pounds during the 3 months. I was avoiding my family and friends because I did not want them to see how miserable I was and how much weight I lost. I finally quit. I could not go on. I would work about 13-14 hours because I was always behind in my work. I wonder if I had a more stable environment would things have been different. I am scared to return to nursing. Do anyone have any advice.

blueiwahine · Jul 22, 2006

I'm glad there are other people feeling the same way I do. School definitely does not prepare us for the real world. When I went into nursing all I wanted to do was care for my patient and help them to get better....but with all the excess paperwork, and other BS...that is almost impossible to do. I've only been working 3 weeks with another nurse...so haven't even had 4-5 pts on my own and I am freaking...Next week I start my actual nurse residency with a perceptor...I'm thinking this is not what I want to do...already feel overworked and it hasn't even started. LOL I know I need some experience even if I want to go somewhere else...So for the moment...just trying to take it one day at a time. Thanks! for your stories...if anything it helps me to understand that I'm not alone....Good Luck! to you all.

oldiebutgoodie, RN · Jul 22, 2006

I understand what you went through. I am a new nurse with no nursing experience. I ended up quitting my first nursing job after 3 months. I am now unemployed wondering what am I going to do now. During the 3 months I had 3 different Nurse managers and 8 different preceptors with all their different ways of doing nursing. I developed anxiety, depression and cried almost everyday. My hair fell out. On my days off I would cry about going back to work. I was 131 lbs when I started and had lost 15 pounds during the 3 months. I was avoiding my family and friends because I did not want them to see how miserable I was and how much weight I lost. I finally quit. I could not go on. I would work about 13-14 hours because I was always behind in my work. I wonder if I had a more stable environment would things have been different. I am scared to return to nursing. Do anyone have any advice.

Sounds like my first job! I kept my first job for 4 months. I had 15 different preceptors, and although I was hired for "days or PMs" I was put on a "rotating" schedule of 6 weeks of nights (4 nights a week, 2 12s and 2 8s) and 3 weeks of days. I left, telling them it just wasn't the right fit for me.

So, when you look for another job, you could tell them that the first was not the right fit, and don't mention anything more about it. Take your time looking around.

Good luck.

Oldiebutgoodie

nursedude1 · Jul 24, 2006

Don't beat yourself up. This is not an easy profession and by no means do our patients or our employers make it any easier. Do the best you can to provide safe, competent care to your patients and when the day (or night, as in my case) is done, go home and find something you enjoy to immerse yourself in. For me it is my family. Occasionally I find myself verbally revisiting the night and its goings-on, but my wife usually shuts me up pretty quickly! Anyhow, the point is that you DO make a difference in your patients' lives each and every day. All you have to do is stop beating yourself up for not being able to solve all of their problems, and you will see this.

The truly great thing about our profession, is that if you feel you are getting burned out, there is always something new to try... Don't throw in the towel!