Why the double standard.

[RN2364]

So I work in a busy ER. When a male nurse has a female patient who needs a pelvic, foley or straight cath the men automatically come to us female nurses without even a conversation with the patient / family. Even if the patient is unconscious they won't even try.

On on the other hand if I have a make patient who needs and exam, foley, straight cats or STD swabs I have to do these myself. If I ask a male nurse (even the ones who just had you do a female foley) they look at me like I am not only crazy but I am being lazy and trying to get out of work and push it off onto them.

I dont understand this double standard. It has happened in every hospital I have worked in. Maybe someone could explain the thinking.. Also is their a good way to approach this with a male colleague without hurting feelings or pointing fingers.

One other thing... does this logic or thinking apply to the lesbian nurse. She she not be required to do these for the same reason the male nurse is not....?

any insight is extremely valuable

[stethscoper]

One of my patients needed a pelvic exam. The OB/GYN doc, who was female, asked me to chaperone. I did. Now whether the physician was female or male if she/he did something unseemly, and I noticed it, I would say something to the physician and would be a witness against the physician if necessary. If the physician is male and he has a female chaperone there is no more likely a chance of an unseemly act if the chaperone is male. As far as feeling more comfortable, if the physician is male, the physician is the one who is doing the exam not the chaperone. Professionalism is the key here. Any thing else is sexist with a background of racist behavior and a double standard that puts male nurses at the back of the bus where we breath the fumes of inequality.

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

One of my patients needed a pelvic exam. The OB/GYN doc, who was female, asked me to chaperone. I did. Now whether the physician was female or male if she/he did something unseemly, and I noticed it, I would say something to the physician and would be a witness against the physician if necessary. If the physician is male and he has a female chaperone there is no more likely a chance of an unseemly act if the chaperone is male. As far as feeling more comfortable, if the physician is male, the physician is the one who is doing the exam not the chaperone. Professionalism is the key here. Any thing else is sexist with a background of racist behavior and a double standard that puts male nurses at the back of the bus where we breath the fumes of inequality.

The reason to have a witness the same sex as the patient originates in what is deemed proper and expected in the viewpoint of the witness. Two men observing a male gyn may not know what is proper in that scenario, where a female would have experience in that situation. It adds validity to the witness' statement.

[Guest849204]

Personally, as a male nurse, I'm most afraid of being accused of sexual assault. Several hospitals I did my clinicals in actually required a female provider to be in the room if a male nurse had to perform certain procedures on a female patient (but not the other way around). Furthermore, myslef and several male colleges have had several female patients request a female nurse for certain procedures but I've never heard of a male patient requesting a male nurse.

[SouthpawRN]

I see a classic example in the differences in male and female communication here. to quote the OP " If I ask a male nurse (even the ones who just had you do a female foley) they look at me like I am not only crazy but I am being lazy and trying to get out of work and push it off onto them. " HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS. Did the males, as you seem to be referring to more than one here, tell you this??? Or did you just assume a certain look implied what might be common from another female nurse. Men generally don't do subtle and don't take, get hints. You need to straight up ask each of these males why they are not reciprocating the favors.... This is a great time to do some education and problem solving. say "When I ask you if you will do a male cath for me, you give me a look that makes me feel _______________. Is your intent to say that I am just being lazy and trying to get out of work, or did you mean something else?"

Guys usually don't do "the look" either. My ex-wife has a PhD in "the look" however.....

BTW when a male says Fine (dennotative) it has the exact opposite meaning of when a female says Fine....

[95PGTTech]

As with anything in life, the double standards go both ways. Why is it that no matter how heavy my caseload is on any given day in the ER, females ALWAYS come to me first for a boost, turn, etc. on a heavy patient? I can't remember the last shift I worked where I didn't leave with a sore back.

I offer my female patients the choice. If they choose no, I do a task for the RN I ask while she is doing the Foley - line, dressing, etc. Under no circumstances will I go into a female room alone and pull the curtain for ANYTHING - I will be in plain sight at all times if I am alone. Was advised of this by another ER male on my first day. Any time that curtain gets pulled, a female chaperone is there, and the patient is specifically instructed why they are present. Haven't had an accusation yet.

Side note - I take another RN in when doing any foley, if possible. Frankly, it's just easier. The other RN and I can knock out a Foley on both of our patients faster than if we had did each alone.

[marable]

So agree with you ...I don't mind helping a male nurse but I have worked with male nurses who had the female nurses doing injections, catheterizations , ng tube insertions , etc but NEVER return the favor and more often than not are piled up in an empty room watching tv.....Most of the time we would have 8 or 9 patients a piece and then to have to take care of half of these male nurses patients plus your own is just too much...

[barcode120x, RN, NP]

Slightly old thread but still interested in responding...

I'm an ER nurse, and male. You're very right that there is a double standard and it's NOT in favor of us guys. My suspicion is simply that us male nurses are quite aware of the possibility of being accused of sexual battery when we do those procedures.

I believe akulahwkRN said it correctly. But, is it really a double standard? Or is it just terrible work-ethic of said coworker who will ask others to do something without really returning the favor? Or could it simply be that you are good at what you do and the coworker (female and/or male) knows that and that is why he/she comes to you? Could be be the work environment as well or just the over team that produces these work situations? Or maybe the coworker was taught incorrectly and needs to be informed of the situation. I believe it's a combination of these.

In the OP's scenario, I think it's simply that the male coworker has terrible work-ethic/team skills and needs to be reoriented on how to work as a team and how to share responsibility and work.

[UnitedStatesofSmash]

In the "me too" era. I dont blame men for covering their backs.

All it takes is an accusation and your life is forever stained. This is not the case with women, so please be understanding

However, with that being said, i cant say why theyd no offer mor assistance when putting in male foleys. Seems like a pretty crappy thing to do to a coworker. I would ask them

[Kidsrablast]

Will all of this talk of male and female nurses doing any type of care involving the genitalia and chaperoning, how is it with for men doing this type of care with kids? Particularly with older children and teens.

[GTRN- Pmhnp, ASN]

I have not had any issues cathing females as a male nurse. First must obtain consent to do it, explain it and then explain again as you are performing the task. I don't run to the female nurse's to do it for me. If the patient is hesitant you can offer to have a female nurse do it, but in home health/hospice this is not always a feasible thing to do. I have not had much experience with peds/teens or young adults that needed catheterizing.

[eacue]

I have read and seen that the topic of sexual battery has been covered however I will reinforce, as a male ER RN it is my biggest fear, especially with a pediatric female patient. Remember once the accusation flies, there is no recourse for us, we are guilty outright without due process, we get suspended even arrested and our reputation is tarnished forever even when we did nothing wrong.

[VykingboyRN]

Being 100% honest, because of the era we live in, #metoo, and social expectations that are alive and well, I didn’t EVEN GET THE TRAINING NECESSARY in 10 years of Nursing MS, ER, Critical Care to conduct a female procedure.

In Nursing School, we were run out of the room time and time again. But that’s not #Discrimination, that’s “Culture.”

It’s not a double-standard to me, it’s a double edged sword.

Strangely, never had a female refuse me to go pull up or take to the restroom, a 500 lb female, all the sudden a male is just fine.